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Newborn not sleeping in crib

 
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amother
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PostPosted: Sun, Apr 01 2012, 10:26 am    Post subject: Newborn not sleeping in crib
 
Ill make it short because I'm typing with the baby in my hands:
At night My new born sleeps between feedings (she eats every 3 hours more or less) only if she is on me or next to me (or DH sometimes).
1. How can I get her and should I get her to sleep in the crib?
2. Is it dangerous for her to sleep on me or next to me? I put her higher than me and I was told that nothing cAn happen but I'm still wondering if it's safe.
I know that newborns don't have schedules and I feed her on demand but at night ( and sometimes during the day as well) - all the feeding in the world won't help, she just wakes up if put down.

Tia
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morah
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PostPosted: Sun, Apr 01 2012, 10:47 am    Post subject: re: Newborn not sleeping in crib
 
Newborns like to stay close to their mothers. It is ok to let her sleep on you as long as you are in a safe position- either awake, or sleeping without pillows or blankets. Go to Dr. William Sears' website for tips on safe co-sleeping. If you're still nervous, you could get a co-sleeper- it's basically a bassinet that attaches to your bed, and that way, the baby is within arms' reach, but still has her own space. That's what we did, and it worked very well.
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PostPosted: Sun, Apr 01 2012, 10:56 am    Post subject: Re: re: Newborn not sleeping in crib
 
morah wrote:
Newborns like to stay close to their mothers. It is ok to let her sleep on you as long as you are in a safe position- either awake, or sleeping without pillows or blankets. Go to Dr. William Sears' website for tips on safe co-sleeping. If you're still nervous, you could get a co-sleeper- it's basically a bassinet that attaches to your bed, and that way, the baby is within arms' reach, but still has her own space. That's what we did, and it worked very well.


I wanted to get a co sleeper but couldn't find it where I live.
Thanks for your response- will check out the webste.
Another question though- if I let my baby sleep with us will I ever be able to teach her to sleep not with us? As a NB I feel that there's no such thing as 'spoiling' her but as she grows a bit older - will it be too late?

Thanks!
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jelly belly
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PostPosted: Sun, Apr 01 2012, 11:00 am    Post subject: re: Newborn not sleeping in crib
 
Welcome to the wonderful world of co sleeping!

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/sleep-safety/safe-co-sleeping-habits

The newborn stage is not for worrying about longterm habits, imo, its about getting as much rest as you can and providing whatever the baby needs, including being close to you.
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PostPosted: Sun, Apr 01 2012, 11:01 am    Post subject: Re: re: Newborn not sleeping in crib
 
amother wrote:
morah wrote:
Newborns like to stay close to their mothers. It is ok to let her sleep on you as long as you are in a safe position- either awake, or sleeping without pillows or blankets. Go to Dr. William Sears' website for tips on safe co-sleeping. If you're still nervous, you could get a co-sleeper- it's basically a bassinet that attaches to your bed, and that way, the baby is within arms' reach, but still has her own space. That's what we did, and it worked very well.


I wanted to get a co sleeper but couldn't find it where I live.
Thanks for your response- will check out the webste.
Another question though- if I let my baby sleep with us will I ever be able to teach her to sleep not with us? As a NB I feel that there's no such thing as 'spoiling' her but as she grows a bit older - will it be too late?

Thanks!


We co-slept. DS is now a teen. He doesn't let me in his room.

Trust me, they all sleep on their own, in time. You can push it, make yourself and your baby miserable, and do it at Age X, or let it be and accomplish it a few months later.
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morah
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PostPosted: Sun, Apr 01 2012, 11:11 am    Post subject: Re: re: Newborn not sleeping in crib
 
amother wrote:
morah wrote:
Newborns like to stay close to their mothers. It is ok to let her sleep on you as long as you are in a safe position- either awake, or sleeping without pillows or blankets. Go to Dr. William Sears' website for tips on safe co-sleeping. If you're still nervous, you could get a co-sleeper- it's basically a bassinet that attaches to your bed, and that way, the baby is within arms' reach, but still has her own space. That's what we did, and it worked very well.


I wanted to get a co sleeper but couldn't find it where I live.
Thanks for your response- will check out the webste.
Another question though- if I let my baby sleep with us will I ever be able to teach her to sleep not with us? As a NB I feel that there's no such thing as 'spoiling' her but as she grows a bit older - will it be too late?

Thanks!


Don't worry about habits at this age. Right now, the world does not exist beyond you and your husband. Once it does (4 months or so) then you can start thinking about crib (if you want. A lot of people keep the baby in their bed for even longer). We moved him to his crib at around 5 months, but started putting him there for naps at 4 months to get him used to it.
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amother
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PostPosted: Sun, Apr 01 2012, 11:17 am    Post subject: re: Newborn not sleeping in crib
 
Wow thank you all! I thought I'd be bashed for letting my baby sleep next to me but both dh and I just can't "educate" a baby that small (which is why for now I also breast feed on demand- though not sure how I'm going to do it with so many guests around over YT-any ideas?).
Thanks for the validation
Signed: op- a very new mom
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amother
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PostPosted: Sun, Apr 01 2012, 11:32 am    Post subject: re: Newborn not sleeping in crib
 
(Not OP) My last baby would eat and then I would dutifully plop him in the crib, no problem. He happily sleeps in his crib in his own room now. My current newborn screams bloody murder if I try to move him anywhere... I nurse him in my bed and there he remains until I relocate to the living room in the morning to start my day. So co-sleeping it is. I'm careful to move pillows/blankets away from him, but he can't even roll over yet, so I don't feel the need to make the whole bed bare.
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morah
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PostPosted: Sun, Apr 01 2012, 11:33 am    Post subject: Re: re: Newborn not sleeping in crib
 
amother wrote:
Wow thank you all! I thought I'd be bashed for letting my baby sleep next to me but both dh and I just can't "educate" a baby that small (which is why for now I also breast feed on demand- though not sure how I'm going to do it with so many guests around over YT-any ideas?).
Thanks for the validation
Signed: op- a very new mom


Here's a dirty little secret: most people, even not attachment-parenting types, will co-sleep at one point or another, if for no other reason than sheer desperation- they're just afraid to admit it. That's why it's so important for everyone to know about safe co-sleeping techniques, even those who don't plan on it. Because it's GOING to happen now and then- the baby falls asleep on an exhausted parent who then also falls asleep.

As for Pesach- I gave birth a week before Pesach last year. I was sitting at the sedarim with my newly-brissed baby. Nobody expected much from us. He slept in his carseat right next to me, and when he needed to eat, I retreated to my room with him, and then we came back out. Granted, in my family, every woman has nursed at least the first few months, so no one batted an eyelash at my frequent exits. I would be more concerned about everyone wanting to hold and pass the baby around. Be really strict about making sure eveyone washes their hands and do not let anyone sick near your baby. At this age, they don't really care who's holding them (until they get hugry), so it's not a big deal as long as health and safety are in order.
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black sheep
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PostPosted: Sun, Apr 01 2012, 12:25 pm    Post subject: Re: re: Newborn not sleeping in crib
 
amother wrote:
Wow thank you all! I thought I'd be bashed for letting my baby sleep next to me but both dh and I just can't "educate" a baby that small (which is why for now I also breast feed on demand- though not sure how I'm going to do it with so many guests around over YT-any ideas?).
Thanks for the validation
Signed: op- a very new mom


I always nursed on demand. with guests over, you can still excuse yourself to go nurse. baby always comes first. I recommend the bebe au lait nursing cover (if you order it today I think you should receive it by pesach) and then you can comfortably nurse at the table, or over by the couch so you are participating but not "in their face."

never feel guilty for putting your baby first.
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amother
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PostPosted: Mon, Apr 02 2012, 6:56 am    Post subject: re: Newborn not sleeping in crib
 
I feel like I'm discovering a new world here. IRL people were raising an eyebrow when I asked about the baby sleeping next to me etc.
So I read about it online today (thanks morah for the dr sears recommendation) but I'm
Not sure how I can do it safely: we have two single beds (think Israel style) . So far we folded a big blanket and put it between us so that baby will be higher than us and it worked fine , only I read now that such a soft surface isn't healthy, plus last night the baby just wouldn't stay asleep there and it was obvious she wasn't comfortable. So where do I put her? I'm especially worried because the beds are too small when seperate to have room for both baby and me but they are also not attached safely enough and I worry they will seperate at night somehow and baby will fall............
Anyone has ideas?


As for nursing on demand- I do that at home because I'm with the baby all day and I hope she knows how much and when she needs food but with guests ...that's a different story. I don't mind being away in the meals but on chol hamoed when family comes over to visit...I guess I'll have to figure it out.
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