Consequence for making messes

Silver Member Joined: Jan 05 2006 Posts: 768

So you are supposed to punish a child with a consequence that matches the behavior. I need help with this one and looking for ideas.

My 4 yr old is a little mazikal. He just loves the getting into trouble, touching things that don't belong to him and messing his siblings stuff up.

Today, I am at the end of my rope.
So he starts off with taking his sisters homemade playdough, (after he asked me permission and I said no), I found him in the room, making a toy pot of something, playdough, mushed pretzels and alot of water. (he tells me he's taking the sippy cup to drink in the playroom. after being quiet for 2 min I went running and found the mess).
So what is the consequence?

#2. He went outside to play. I find him with 3 tulips and daffodils he picked because they were so pretty. (ok, I didn't punish him but it didn't make me feel any better about him.

#3. I'm cleaning a room in the basement for pesach with the vaccum cleaner. I opened the window which is partly above ground. I turned my back to the window, and he throws handfuls of dirt into the room, through the window. I made him vaccum up the mess and he was so excited. He kept telling his older sister he was helping me clean by vaccuming. he didn't take it as a punishement at all.

All that happened is that I suffered. His siblings were all playing outside, and he sat there pestering me while we were inside together.

Then it's time to go to sleep, and I peek outside. On the porch are a few baby toys, and he filled them in all nooks and crannies with more mud. (probably earlier this afternoon). (so I told him he had to come inside and no more playing outside)

I can't say he can't play outside tommorow. I am going to go more crazy with all the stuff he can touch inside and destroy than outside, but what should his punishment be. Is this age appropriate or getting out of hand.
(My grand mother would say, give him a good smacking on his behind and he'll learn his lesson)

I am at my wits end, as you can see with my venting. He has been a huge chevrman since he was born, and it's only getting bigger as he grows older and has bigger ideas. I just don't know how to punish him anymore. He just thinks it's hysterical.

Platinum Member Joined: Dec 27 2007 Posts: 7241

This is age appropriate. I would make him clean up regular messes and sit in time out for five minutes for on-purpose-ha-ha-ha messes.

But you have to 1) set up the environment so there is as less opportunity for messes as possible and 2) get used to it, that's how kids are Wink

He seems like the active adventurous type of kid that likes to explore a lot. Perhaps he is still a bit immature to fully understand what he is doing-as he is doing it. His body works faster than his mind. You can have him do a lot of appropriate things like play doh, beans, art, anything he might like when he is not occupied. I have seen a good few of those kids. With time and discipliine they outgrow it for the most part. Whatever mess he makes you can explain why it was wrong and help him clean it up.
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Executive Member Joined: May 22 2008 Posts: 289

The part about his vacuuming made me think that maybe if he loves it so much, you actually can put him to work. Give him more jobs around the house and constantly encourage him as he helps you. My 3 year old loves to vacuum. Usually, whatever he does needs to be re-vacuumed by me when he's not around, but at least he keeps busy and thinks he's helping.