Is no candy worse?

Posted: Mon, Mar 26 2012, 10:55 pm Post subject: re: Is no candy worse?

I grew up without candy for the most part and didn't have a single cavity before about age 20. I think that pretty much sums it up.
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Posted: Mon, Mar 26 2012, 11:27 pm Post subject: Re: re: Is no candy worse?

Executive Member Joined: Jun 26 2010 Posts: 364

I can only tell you my experience, just like everyone else can only tell you theirs. But it really annoys me when people make blanket statements like the one above:

Posted: Mon, Mar 26 2012, 11:46 pm Post subject: re: Is no candy worse?

I have to say, as a baalas teshuva, I was shocked when I saw the amount of candy consumed by frum kids! Growing up, my parents were never restrictive with junk food. There were chips and cookies in the house, and other unhealthy things. But candy was usually something we got at birthday parties or as a special treat. My grandparents used to give us a piece of candy or two as a treat. But nothing compared to what I've seen kids consume on a weekly basis at home and at school.

Since I didn't grow up with this, I have to wonder- when did Shabbos parties and gorging kids on nosh and candy become a regular occurance?

Silver Member Joined: Jun 14 2010 Posts: 693

There is a difference between not keeping candy in the house and not giving it out regularly versus taking some away from a child or making them sit and watch as other kids consume it while they have to have something else.
If I keep lots of yummy food in my house and just don't have soda or candy around, my kids will not feel deprived. Dried mango or date-coconut rolls are just as exciting as treats as are jelly beans. For a delicious shabbos nosh I can make a mixture of nuts, chocolate chips, and dried fruit.
But if my kids get candy in school or at a party, I will not take it away or deprive them of being like their classmates. Over Purim my kids know that any nosh they are given is theirs and I will not take away something that is theirs... however they are welcome to sell whatever they don't want to me and then we go to a toy store and buy a toy with whatever they've earned... and they've saved their teeth and tummies in the process. I practically have to force them to keep some of their junk.
I've shown them what happens to teeth if it sits in soda. They know - and are proud of their knowledge - about the human body and nutrition. They know that Mommy and Tatty care so much about them and want them to grow up strong and healthy and that's why we don't keep soda and junk (well, maybe just a bit that's very well hidden!) in the house. But I make sure to give "treats" on Shabbos and Yom tov and parties; the treats just happen to be less harmful than some of the stuff that's out there. I'm okay with the occasional chocolate or cookie (and I give out delicious whole wheat banana cake for dessert all the time)... hey we all need to indulge. I just keep the bar "low". And if they come home from school and tell me what so-and-so gave out for her b-day party that day, I say something like, "It sounds like it was yummy for you. I"m so happy you enjoyed it. Now lets be very careful about brushing our teeth tonight, because we really don't want your teeth to get a cavity from all that extra junk you had today." So there... I let my child know that I am happy he/she enjoyed, but at the same time reminding them the reason why we don't do it often or at home.

Diamond Member Joined: Oct 08 2009 Posts: 4018

Diamond Member Joined: Oct 08 2009 Posts: 4018

Posted: Tue, Mar 27 2012, 1:46 am Post subject: re: Is no candy worse?

teeth issues are mostly genetic or calcium related.

Posted: Tue, Mar 27 2012, 2:23 am Post subject: Re: re: Is no candy worse?

Gold Member Joined: Jan 12 2010 Posts: 2261 Location: US

Diamond Member Joined: Aug 07 2006 Posts: 2556

Diamond Member Joined: Oct 08 2009 Posts: 4018

I managed to eat plenty of candy years ago. There was a lot of variety. We had candy stores that gave out free samples, and we ate all kinds of candy. The only difference is today there is more "sour" candy that we didn't have that much of then. Otherwise, we lacked for nothing. I lived in the candy store.

Gold Member Joined: Jan 12 2010 Posts: 2261 Location: US

Posted: Tue, Mar 27 2012, 9:03 am Post subject: re: Is no candy worse?

As a teacher, I can tell you that it is a known thing that the more restrictive the parents are, the more likely those children are to pick up sweets that others have dropped on the floor or steal them out of their lunches.

Not all the time, for sure. As with anything, there are those who are comfortable with no sweets and those who are not. But many parents don't limit treats half as much as they think they do.

Diamond Member Joined: Aug 07 2006 Posts: 2556

Posted: Tue, Mar 27 2012, 9:48 am Post subject: re: Is no candy worse?

I find the "I don't give candy, but I give chocolate and pretzels" thing puzzling. All are empty calorie, non-nutritional foods. Is there really a difference in people's minds between someone who gives their kids a Hershey nugget, vs. someone who gives their kids a fruit roll up?

In any case, my brief thoughts:

(1) No one should congratulate themselves until their kids are at least midway through their teens. That kid who tells you that dinosaur trees (broccoli) is the best may well refuse to touch anything green at age 9, and be jonesing for chips at 11. Been there, done that.

(2) Its also a matter of personality. Some kids do better with moderation. Other kids can't handle it. And it must be tough having different personalities in the same family. Oh, and sometimes that changes over time.

For us, for DS, moderation works best. He's the kind of kid who can eat 2 chips from a snack pack, then decide to save the rest for later. Sometimes I think he must have been switched at the hospital. So for him, saying you can have a little, sometimes, works. As a teen he's also into being healthy, and eating healthfully. I'd love to say its something I've done, but I think its who he is.

Diamond Member Joined: Sep 18 2004 Posts: 2600

I'm with you Barbara. I also don't get the "I don't give my kids candy; only chocolate, chips, cookies or pretzels. Actually, it makes me laugh!

Gold Member Joined: Feb 24 2009 Posts: 1983

Gold Member Joined: Jan 12 2010 Posts: 2261 Location: US

I do consider some "junkfoods" less junkier than others. A candy made with all sugar, artificial color & flavor is pure junk, while chocolate has some amount of value to it. Pretzels is not much different than white bread - which many people consider lunch. In fact, fruit rollups are on my list of "better" candies, because at least it's based on real fruit. I'm not at all calling it healthy - just that I prefer it to the purely empty candies.

Posted: Tue, Mar 27 2012, 10:05 am Post subject: Re: re: Is no candy worse?