I can't keep doing this!!!

Posted: Wed, Mar 21 2012, 11:34 am Post subject: I can't keep doing this!!!

My baby is over 5 months old and she still wakes up at least twice during the night and I can't keep waking for her. Honestly I have PPD and I'm barely managing the fact that she's not sleep trained during the day either. My DH wont wake up for her because he has work and it kills his day if his sleep is interrupted but my day is also shot when I wake up in middle of the night. The second time she wakes up is usually around between 5-6:40 depending on the day. I hate getting up at 3 am but it would be nice to sleep from then through till 7 or whenever. My DH has to get up to go to work anyway but wants the extra half hour of sleep. It's not as if he is home to put her to bed either. Bottom line, I need my daughter to sleep through the night. I need her to take naps and not cry for 45 minutes when I put her down and then sleep for 25. I am overwhelmed and annoyed as it is, I am seeing a therapist and possibly going on medication but this sleep issue needs to be dealt with because it is exasperating my PPD and killing my sholom bayis!!!!
I have tried pick up put down from the baby whisperer
I have tried coming in at certain intervals
She wont let me rock her or hold her to sleep, she just screams and arches her back
If she's really exhausted and she cried through till it's time to feed her again, sometimes the bottle will help her fall asleep.
Right now she does crying it out because I'm out of options. But I feel cruel and I don't see progress with that either. She's not falling asleep faster or sleeping longer and I'm still getting up in middle of the night to feed her. I dont even know if she still needs to eat during the night, but what do I do? let her cry for an hour in middle of the night instead of feeding her? Please help!!!
I'm seriously going out of my mind!

Posted: Wed, Mar 21 2012, 11:36 am Post subject: re: I can't keep doing this!!!

Do you have the means to hire a baby nurse who specializes in sleep training for a few nights?

Executive Member Joined: Jul 25 2011 Posts: 369

I'm so sorry for you!
I've found that swaddling works miracles. When you put her in for a nap or for the night swaddle her so tight it feels like you're crushing her; don't worry, you're not hurting her. If you don't know how to swaddle properly look for tutorials online. You want it to be like a straightjacket. The theory is that the swaddle feels similar to the womb, giving her a comfort zone that is relaxing.
After you swaddle her, go into a dark room and bounce her in your arms, loudly shushing her till she falls asleep. Again, it's supposed to all work to make her feel like she's in the womb.
Good luck!

Active Poster Joined: Mar 18 2012 Posts: 77

Senior Member Joined: Oct 27 2010 Posts: 222

hugs!!!!!!!

from my experience when my baby sleeps for just a few minutes and wakes up it means he neads a burp-even at 6 months so I try to keep him sleepy and then aftere the burp rock him back to sleep

most times when he wakes up in the middle of the night its also for a burp

try not to feed her right before bedtime because that will make her wake up due to burping I try to feed him a good hour before then he has still enough time to burp-not always does it work -most of the times he falls asleep while feeding

I find that he likes to sleep on the stomach in the carraige Confused

even if its not the flattest

hope I was able to help

Posted: Wed, Mar 21 2012, 12:32 pm Post subject: re: I can't keep doing this!!!

Wow. OP I am sorry you are having such a hard time.

DS would wake up once at night up until almost two years to eat, but it was a three minute thing and then I was back in bed asleep.

DD is 13 months now and still wakes up two or three times a night to nurse. They have such tiny tummies they get hungry in the middle of the night. Do you have trouble falling back asleep once you get up for the baby, is that the problem?

Any chance you can nap with the baby during the day to get some more rest?

This too shall pass OP, wishing you the best!

Executive Member Joined: May 20 2011 Posts: 385

Hugs! I remember feeling like you, and nothing changed other then my baby got older! Now at 10 months, she is finally sleeping through the night bh, and things are so much better. It does pass!!

Posted: Wed, Mar 21 2012, 12:44 pm Post subject: re: I can't keep doing this!!!

I wouldn't suggest trying to start swaddling a baby at 5 months that hasn't been swaddled before, especially not tightly. That works for newborns, but by 5 months no. is she eating any solid food? It could be that she needs more food during the day. My three big kids never did the "eat more food, sleep more" thing, so I thought it wasn't real, but it made a huge difference for my now 2 yr old. The Weissbluth book has worked well for us, but it's a personal choice with what works. I agree with the above poster that if you can afford it to get someone to come in and help with sleep training. Also, you might see if you could negotiate with DH to deal with her at night for just a couple of days. Oftentimes, babies want to see Mommy, but if it's just Tatty they get when they wake up, it's not so "worth it." If you expressed it to him with a finite end, maybe he'd do it?

Posted: Wed, Mar 21 2012, 12:59 pm Post subject: re: I can't keep doing this!!!

op here

I don't have that kind of money and no swaddling is not helping, she is also already 5 months old and those "womb" tricks don't work on her anymore.

Platinum Member Joined: Feb 20 2009 Posts: 7947

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/31-ways-get-your-baby-sleep-and-stay-asleep

Diamond Member Joined: May 20 2007 Posts: 2848

Do you nurse? Co-sleeping is amazing. Baby cries to nurse, you latch on and are asleep two minutes later.

Diamond Member Joined: May 20 2007 Posts: 2848

My two younger ones didn't sleep through the night until a year, but I sleep-trained my oldest at about 7 months. My husband taught him to take a bottle of water during the day (he wouldn't take it from me) and then when he cried to eat the first time at night, dh went in to him and gave him water. We didn't leave him to cry, dh stayed with him until he fell asleep, but made it clear that no nursing. After two three days he stopped waking up for water. Then we worked on the next feeding.

Posted: Wed, Mar 21 2012, 2:08 pm Post subject: re: I can't keep doing this!!!

Try giving a bottle of formula at night... formula takes longer to digest. Also, they have 'bedtime formula' that has rice cereal or cornflour added. In Israel, Materna makes 'laila tov' formula with rice that you can give starting at 4 months old. I'm sure there's an equivalent in the US.

If you're opposed to formula, try pumping milk and adding rice cereal to it.

I've done both... the pumped milk with cereal and the formula. Maybe mine were good sleepers anyways, but I think it helped.
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Posted: Wed, Mar 21 2012, 2:18 pm Post subject: re: I can't keep doing this!!!

Why are your needs more important than your baby's needs? A five month old does not normally sleep through the night, this is what motherhood means, doing what we don't feel like.
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Posted: Wed, Mar 21 2012, 2:28 pm Post subject: re: I can't keep doing this!!!

mine also didnt sleep through the night til she was 15 months old -- 5 months ? that was a joke. I started the baby whisperer techniques too late - at like 8-9 months and they didnt work. u just gotta remember that it will pass evntually, it's rough! but nothing much u can do.. would it help if you had a break for a night or two by giving her to a relative or friend to sleep at so u can get a good night in? thats wat I would do in ur sitch.

Active Poster Joined: Jan 15 2012 Posts: 48

try batyathebabycoach she specializes in helping babies sleep through the night.

http://batyathebabycoach.com

Active Poster Joined: Mar 27 2010 Posts: 26

Hi! my baby is six months old and also wakes up several times in the middle of the night- sometimes to eat and sometimes just because. I wish I could give you some good advice! I can just tell you what I saw made a difference with me (sometimes).
You didnt mention where you put her to sleep. it can be shes just not comfortable. if you cosleep thats forsure an option, or if shes in the bassinet maybe a crib would be better.
if you put her to sleep on her back maybe she would be more comfortable on her side or maybe her tummy? maybe put a cozy blanket on her? I nurse the whole day but before I put him to sleep an addition to nursing I also give him a bottle just in case hes still hungry.. I know the crying method is so hard!! but with us we found that if we let him cry for 15 minutes and then come back in and give him a pacifier he takes it and goes to sleep..
I wish I could help!!!!!!!!! hugs and I hope she starts sleeping better soon!!

Posted: Wed, Mar 21 2012, 3:00 pm Post subject: re: I can't keep doing this!!!

Many babies still wake up for a few feedings in the middle of the night. At five months is normal!!! Like a previous poster said, cosleeping can help for that. My baby cosleeps and it saves me a lot of getting from crib, putting back to sleep...stuff. Hopefully in a few weeks when she starts getting more active during the day and eating solids her nights will be longer too.
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Active Poster Joined: Aug 24 2009 Posts: 91

my fourth dd didnt sleep through the night til almost age two! she taught me what it means not to sleep. when she woke up during the night very often she would stay up for hours. she wasnt coliky or anything like that she just couldnt sleep. she would sleep for a little bit and then wake up crying and just wanted to be rocked back to sleep. it was a vicious cycle. day and night.
we tried reflux meds, changing my diet, cosleeping, sleeping on her stomach, giving her vitamins to help her sleep, bathing her with pure lavender before bed, lavender lotion, even melatonin. nothing helped. I threatened my dr that im checking her into a sleep clinic!
til I saw on imamother an ad for "batya the baby coach". I was at my wits end by then so I googled her and sent her an email that day. to make a long story short she listened to my dd sleeping pattern and I didnt even end up needing to follow her program. just by talking to her I got some tips that helped me get my dd to sleep and stay asleep! she didnt sleep through the night right away but she learned how to go to sleep herself so she woke up much more refreshed so she fell asleep easier.......
(she gives you a free 1/2 hour phone consultation.)