How do I know if my 3 year old son is being molested?

Gold Member Joined: Sep 13 2010 Posts: 2113

I guess thats why I am more comfortable with kids having morahs till they can express themselves clearly.

the story about your kid in the yard does not seem to have anything to do with this though.

- Because he said "boo"? I don't understand what you are getting at.

- What does the "booboo" look like? Is anything visible? Could it be some sort of irritation?

op, are you generally the overprotective cautious type of mom? I am obsessed with the worry that dd shouldnt get molested & my thoughts can take me far. Be careful not to damage the relationship with his rebbe for such a "maybe".

Seems like your DS isnt that verbal yet since most 3 year old would say more than one word statements "Boo boo", "Rebbe" in that case its really hard to tell. Dd was crying hysterically once "Totty made a boo boo here" and then I remembered that a half hr before that DH wiped her after BM & put on a cream for her yeast rash. I was in the room and I KNOW nothing happened but it was wondering what would I have done had I not been there...It's not so simple to accuse an innocent husband for something this serious.

I would tell the Rebbe that I'm working on teaching him how to be more independent & wipe himself after using the toilet so he doesnt need help anymore. make sure he wears pants that are easy to pull up by himself, no belts & thingamajigs. Rather that you should have to bathe him daily cuz of his improper wiping than you having to deal with the worry.

Also, your DS isn't too young to be taught that no one should see him undressed or in his panties. I taught DD to say "don't look, its not tznius" and she doesnt allow anyone (even me sometimes, lol!) into the bathroom with her.

and thank you all for your helpful suggestions..

Gold Member Joined: Sep 13 2010 Posts: 2113

Don't take this lightly, Speak to the Rebbi definitely. Also VERY IMPORTANT speak to your kids about the privacy of their body and how no one can touch them in that area. You can google how to speak to your kids about molestation. We can't prevent it but we can educate our children and make them aware!!! Too many children were ruined by being molested many were too embarrassed to tell their parents and a lot of times the molester will threaten the child not tell his parents. Don't let your child be a victim!!

It could be that the Rebbe just wipes him a little roughly.

Otoh, I couldn't, just couldn't send my child back into a situation where I didn't feel 100% confident that my child was in a safe environment. Call me crazy, I'd rather keep my child at home.
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Senior Member Joined: May 20 2011 Posts: 100

Can you maybe get some more info from your son?maybe have him act out with a doll what happened?

Senior Member Joined: May 20 2011 Posts: 100

When my 3 yr ds went to gan, his rebbe had to change his diapers!

If he had said the rebbe hurt him there, my initial reaction would be like yours.

What do you do now?

Bring up the subject again with your son. Try to get more info out of him. Talk to him about personal safety.

Try to check out the gan more. Ask other moms if they are happy, if their child is happy in gan, if their child ever got hurt using the toilet at gan, find out if the rebbe spanks.

I heard about a rebbe who was accused of potching this part of the children as his punishment technique. While that is not molestation exactly, it is considered child endangerment.
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black sheep wrote: Trauma doesn't ruin lives; never recovering from trauma ruins lives.