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| amother |
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Amother
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 Posted: Tue, Mar 06 2012, 11:23 am Post subject: critique please |
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Amother because don't want to give away my SN
This is a poem I plan to put with MM
the theam is pears, and I 'm planning to change similar sounding words to "pear" ex. purim will be "pear"im
a twosome, a couple, a double, a pair
the things may not be as the may appear.
no peer preassure induced our theam-
simply, purim and fun is an obvious team.
Please tell me if my English is ok and specifically the last line. TIA
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Amother
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| Posted: Tue, Mar 06 2012, 11:27 am Post subject: re: critique please |
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Honestly it made me roll my eyes. But I do like pears so I'd eat the goods! 
Theme is spelled wrong.
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| amother |
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Amother
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| Posted: Tue, Mar 06 2012, 11:38 am Post subject: re: critique please |
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thank you for being honest.
eye rolling because its so bad or because its "another mm poem"?
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| Ima'la |
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| Posted: Tue, Mar 06 2012, 11:38 am Post subject: re: critique please |
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"pair" and "appear" only rhyme in Brooklyn.
A pet peeve of mine, but I'm guessing you live there, so you can get away with it...
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| amother |
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Amother
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| Posted: Tue, Mar 06 2012, 11:42 am Post subject: re: critique please |
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| I rolled my eyes because it didn't properly rhyme and the fact that you mentioned peer pressure and themes was odd.
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| amother |
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Amother
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| Posted: Tue, Mar 06 2012, 11:43 am Post subject: re: critique please |
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yes, I am in Brooklyn.
kids are going to be dressed as couples - for reference
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| amother |
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Amother
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| Posted: Tue, Mar 06 2012, 11:51 am Post subject: re: critique please |
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ok.
If I simply say: this year we're a bunch of pears - meaning pairs, will my fellow brooklynites "get it"?
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| GetReal |
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| Posted: Tue, Mar 06 2012, 11:59 am Post subject: re: critique please |
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| I like the poem.
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Amother
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| Posted: Tue, Mar 06 2012, 12:33 pm Post subject: re: critique please |
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Thank you GR
How about if I change it to:
a twosome, a couple, a double, a pair
the "pair" became pear to be served with a flaire.
no "pear" preassure induced our theem-
simply, purim and fun is an obvious team.
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Amother
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| Posted: Tue, Mar 06 2012, 12:35 pm Post subject: re: critique please |
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woops that supposed to be flair 
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Amother
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| Posted: Tue, Mar 06 2012, 1:00 pm Post subject: re: critique please |
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| bump
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| Ima'la |
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| Posted: Tue, Mar 06 2012, 1:12 pm Post subject: re: critique please |
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Sorry - didn't mean to be so negative before - I got called away from the computer and couldn't write more. It's a cute idea!
Pair/pear are homonyms. You might want to put one in parentheses to make sure people get it. ("We're a bunch of pears (pairs).")
appear/peer do not rhyme with pair/pear, except, as I said, in Brooklyn.
Appear/peer rhyme with deer, fear, beer.
Pair/pear rhyme with hair, flair, bear.
Then again, if you're from Brooklyn, you probably read the above paragraph and have no idea what I'm talking about. Sorry, I don't mean to make fun, it's just... well, ok, maybe I am making fun, but all in good humor - some of my best friends have Brooklyn accents!
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| Monsey Mom |
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| Posted: Tue, Mar 06 2012, 1:25 pm Post subject: Re: re: critique please |
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| amother wrote: | Thank you GR
How about if I change it to:
a twosome, a couple, a double, a pair
the "pair" became pear to be served with a flaire.
no "pear" preassure induced our theem-
simply, purim and fun is an obvious team. |
pressure
theme
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| Barbara |
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| Posted: Tue, Mar 06 2012, 1:35 pm Post subject: Re: re: critique please |
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| Monsey Mom wrote: | | amother wrote: | Thank you GR
How about if I change it to:
a twosome, a couple, a double, a pair
the "pair" became pear to be served with a flaire.
no "pear" preassure induced our theem-
simply, purim and fun is an obvious team. |
pressure
theme |
flair
And as someone else said, "peer" (as in "peer pressure") doesn't rhyme with, or sound like, "pear."
No comments on content. Hallmark poetry isn't my thing.
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| amother |
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Amother
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| Posted: Wed, Mar 07 2012, 6:47 am Post subject: re: critique please |
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Thank you everyone
please remind me next year not to do this to myself
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| gp2.0 |
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| Posted: Wed, Mar 07 2012, 9:07 am Post subject: |
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I am confused about why a bunch of you say that peer doesn't sound like pair. Do you mean in a technical grammatical way or do you actually pronounce them differently with a different accent?
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| Barbara |
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| Posted: Wed, Mar 07 2012, 9:51 am Post subject: |
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| gp2.0 wrote: | | I am confused about why a bunch of you say that peer doesn't sound like pair. Do you mean in a technical grammatical way or do you actually pronounce them differently with a different accent? |
PEER rhymes with EAR and BEER
PAIR and PEAR rhyme with HAIR and FAIR
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| Posted: Sun, Mar 11 2012, 2:16 am Post subject: |
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| Barbara wrote: | | gp2.0 wrote: | | I am confused about why a bunch of you say that peer doesn't sound like pair. Do you mean in a technical grammatical way or do you actually pronounce them differently with a different accent? |
PEER rhymes with EAR and BEER
PAIR and PEAR rhyme with HAIR and FAIR |
Not 'round these parts. I pronounce all of those the same way.
According to dictionary.com pair and peer are pronounced the same but pear sounds different. So that's no help.
So I'm assuming it is an accent thing, in which case no one is wrong. Just different.
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| Karnash |
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| Posted: Sun, Mar 11 2012, 2:37 am Post subject: re: critique please |
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No, it's not just different - there is a right way to pronounce these words.
If you look up the phonetic transcriptions in the dictionary, you will see that Barbara gave the correct comparisons.
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| Posted: Sun, Mar 11 2012, 11:58 am Post subject: re: critique please |
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OK, I finally understand the difference, after thinking about the words hair and here, which I do pronounce differently.
But my 'pair' will sometimes sound like 'hair' and sometimes sound like 'peer' and that is what was confusing me.
I found the 'cheer-chair merger' on wikipedia which seems to explain this.
| Quote: | | The cheer–chair merger is the merger of the Early Modern English sequences /Iːr/ and /ɛːr/ (and the /eːr/ between them), which is found in some accents of modern English. Some speakers in New York City and New Zealand merge them in favor of the CHEER vowel, while some speakers in East Anglia and South Carolina merge them in favor of the CHAIR vowel. |
And I guess the rest of the speakers always differentiate between them. 
It just irks me when people say there is a 'right' way to pronounce words, when the truth is that everyone has an accent, and every accent has unique quirks and differences in pronunciation.
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