Dressing child in different gender clothes for purim

Senior Member Joined: Jul 14 2011 Posts: 192

I have no clue where to buy a Purim costume for my baby right now so I thought it would be a cute idea to dress my baby boy up as a baby girl and have me wear my husband's hat and suit jacket..It is purim, all mixed up! I told this to a friend and she said putting him in girls clothing can be damaging to his neshama blah blah..Is she being ridiculous? He is 2 months old and it is Purim but of course I do not want to do anything "damaging." What yall think? Is it all fun and games with purim or should I stay away from this. Haha and feel free to tell me my idea sucks in general. Smile

My twins and AT were all very young at Purim. They just wore whatever Shabbot clothing they had, a nice outfit that was a gift.

I wouldn't dress my girl as a boy or visa versa. Just my opinion.

Do you have any friends with one year olds. Ask around and see if someone has a costume to loan you for the year. Or you can make your own (yellow jumper turned into a duck? White outfit with some black construction paper circles becomes a cow, etc).
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DH doesn't allow cross-dressing. My kids' school also doesn't.

I am guessing this is your first, and I don't want to be a party pooper, but your baby will not care if he is dressed up or not (unless it's uncomfortable when he will prefer not).

Iy"H there are many Purims to come, and soon you will be tearing your hair out along with the rest of us finding a costume.

If you really want one, choose an animal/bird and get a stretchy in the right colour and add ears/tail etc.
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We learned that on Purim one is allowed to fully dress as the opposite gender.
My brother once dressed up as a girl (skirt, cardigan, the whole thing)
My sister dressed up like a boy once.
My father dressed up as hillary clinton once (with skirt, stockings and a full mask). He asked before he did it and was told it is fine.

I would think for a two month old it would be fine.

I think people will just assume your child is indeed a girl. He won't really look dressed up. babies that age are kind of genderless anyway, iykwim.

Lots of easy ideas though...attach pompoms to a stretchy for a clown, a little cloak and crown for a king.

When my son was 4, he wanted to dress up as Snow White. My DH was appalled.

"If you like that story so much, why not dress up like the Prince? "

"Abba, the prince doesn't do anything in that story. Snow White does all the intereting stuff."

"But you are a boy and Snow White is a girl!"

"Abba, don't be silly. It's just pretend!"

I dressed my 2 year old boy as dorothy one year. he looked adorable, everyone thought he was a girl with his gorgeous long blond hair Smile

If you are uncomfortable with the idea, ask a rav for his opinion.

Silver Member Joined: Dec 06 2005 Posts: 927

My teenage brother once wore my sister's HS uniform with a short shaitel. He looked perfect for a BY girl. When he went to his rebbe to deliver MM they wouldn't let him in at first!! He had to pick up the shaitel and convince them he was really a boy!
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Gold Member Joined: Jan 12 2010 Posts: 2275 Location: US

For an older boy it might be weird, but for an infant, it's cute. Raisin, yes strangers won't know the difference, but people who know them will get it. The "ruin his neshama" seems over the top - it's either allowed or not allowed - and if you are in doubt you can always ask a shaila whether a young child below chinuch age may cross dress or not.

My daughter spent her first few months of life in boy clothes... 2 older brothers an I was waiting for my parents to come with the box of girl clothes I had ordered from America-land.

Israelis regularly cross-dress their babies... especially charedim. Not for fun, but as a neccesity.
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I love putting my boy in his sister's clothes.

There is a chassidishe poster who dressed her son as a kalla on Purim.
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I don't see what the difference is on purim dressing as a pirate or lion vs opposite gender.
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My aunt has 7 boys and every year purim she dresses her baby as a girl.

DS1 was 4 weeks old his first purim, and he was a beautiful baby. I thought of dressing him as a girl, but DH said NO WAY! Said it'll plant ideas blah blah blah. I don't agree, but he feels very strongly about it. He also doesn't like when they play with dolls or carriages or whatever.

Again, I don't agree, just saying that OPs husband isn't so strange for thinking so.
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Posted: Fri, Feb 24 2012, 3:44 pm Post subject:

I've always been uncomfortable with the idea of dressing a boy in a girl's costume. Several of my relatives do it though and one little boy was talking about it for months afterwards, how much he enjoyed being a kallah on purim. It's fun to pretend things that will never happen IRL!

Emesrnot, what does your DH think will happen if a boy plays with dolls and carriages? I see plenty of men pushing baby carriages on the street. It's a normal part of life so I don't see what makes him uncomfortable...besides, it's good for little boys to be in touch with their nurturing sensitive sides too.
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Silver Member Joined: Jul 26 2006 Posts: 577

In the chassidishe world it is almost a given that 2 yr olds are dressed up as girls before their upsherin, on purim. (especially the ones with long gorgeous hair.) Nobody bats an eyelash! my sil even went with a theme. her older son as mickey mouse and her younger 2 yr old as minnie mouse.

Senior Member Joined: Jun 05 2009 Posts: 159

Gold Member Joined: Jan 11 2011 Posts: 1164

Until age 3 I always dress them up as the opposite gender - boys-kallahs, or girls clothing
and girls as boys or boy costumes.