Our vs. Other Societies' Negiah/Yichud/TH Laws

Are we the strictest society in the world as far as rules pertaining to negiah, yichud and taharas hamishpacha? What other societies have similar rules, and what are they?

I'm no expert in any culture, but I get the feeling we're somewhere near the top at least. What I do know is that whereas the Jewish society at my university had mixed social or learning events, separate seating or not, the Islamic society wouldn't. Everything had to be at different times and in different rooms. Perhaps some of us are like that. I don't know if in the rest of the world that is the case, but it did appear to be the case in the UK.

I don't know any other group with such a sense of gender separation. As for rules of a more intimate nature, I think I'm ok with having no insight.

You didn't ask for kashrus, but we have it soooo easy compared to Brahmans. Really stringent ones will even bring their own WATER when traveling... and so many veggies are forbidden!

Muslims have TH, more or less depending on the groups, but it seems to me not as stringent. They also have negia. It seems to me getting a heter for shaking hands is easier for an Orthodox Jew than an Orthodox Muslim and that NO imam would shake hands (as opposed to rabbis), but that may be just here.

Many cultures have some type of "don't stay alone with a guy", but not as strict and detailed. I know strict Catholics are not supposed to have relations or "go too far" before marriage, but many do kiss and most hold hands. Once upon a time (some?) Catholic women had to take a bath after period before resuming relations, but nothing like clean days or bedikot or zero touching.
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Silver Member Joined: Dec 02 2009 Posts: 978

I used to have a greek orthodox friend she told me they seperate when a woman has her period.

Platinum Member Joined: Nov 01 2009 Posts: 8186

Blueberry, I don't quite remember the details, but a muslim aquaintance of mine told me some of their rules. They have some sort of bathing ritual too.
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IIRC Muslims do not have intercourse during the menstrual period, I think it might be ten days from when the bleeding starts, or maybe ten days after birth - I'm not sure. Then they wash ritually (sound familiar Wink

), and are allowed to have intercourse. That is actually one of the reasons they give for polygamy.
Also there are certain zexual positions not allowed in Islam. Muslim men and women do not touch unless they are family (brother/sister/ parents/ grandparents/maternal uncles). Also they cannot be alone together - pretty much like our yichud rules.
There are other guidelines, but they are more about women's conduct than our TH (a woman must be allowed to leave the house once a year/month, can't remember to visit her parents, she must never refuse her husband zex, etc.)
I'm sure there are more similarities.
BTW ancient Christians also did not have intercourse during menstrual period, nor during umpteen saints days and other holy days.
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A college professor once told us that whereas we have a yichud room which is symbolic, by Muslims they do the actual act when secluding during the wedding. Then the groom comes out waving a handkerchief with the blood to show that they "did it" and that she was a virgin.

Hope it's not true for their sake!!

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 12 2009 Posts: 13159

I don't know if we're the strictest but I think it's a safe bet to say we're the healthiest.
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I guess no one has heard of a menstrual hut.
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Active Poster Joined: Jan 26 2012 Posts: 40

I think it's impossible to say, but many other cultures have a lot of gender, modesty, and impurity rules:

Strict Muslims won't let women travel without a male relative.

Some groups of Roma (Gypsies) follow codes of pollution that are very extensive. For example, for the hand to contact any lower portion of the body causes the hand to become polluted. This may have roots in India where Hindus practice a lot of rules of this nature. I've also heard that among certain high caste Hindu in India, women cannot cook their own husband's meals because, unfortunately, women are considered to be on a much lower spiritual platform than their Brahmin husbands. Women in many parts of India have also traditionally fed their husbands before eating themselves. It's difficult to sum up Hindus, because their "minhagim" vary so much from one group to the next, but Indians in the north of the country have traditionally been extremely patriarchal.

Among the traditional Hmong, an engaged woman who even accidentally touches another man has committed a serious, even deadly, offense.

In many Native American tribes, women were secluded in separate housing during their menses. This appears to be a common custom among primitive people around the world, from American Indians to Australian Aborigines.

I was told by a Mongolian girl that among many other restrictions, women were expected to sit to the left of their husbands and fathers while eating.

It's not a cultural rule per se, but Xtian Billy Graham was reportedly never alone in a room with another woman without his wife being present.

Among the thousands of cultures around the world, there are probably countless that follow intensive rules of modesty, pollution, niddah and what not. Whether these rules are divinely inspired or not is a another matter. Wink

Active Poster Joined: Jan 26 2012 Posts: 40

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 12 2009 Posts: 13159

[quote="Rivka32"]

Executive Member Joined: Jan 22 2012 Posts: 354

not surprising they would do that how low can u go? muslim women are known to be treated cruelly the bloody handkerchif is disgusting, and humiliating

never mind religion but to have intercourse during heavy bleeding?

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 24 2008 Posts: 6528

Platinum Member Joined: Dec 27 2007 Posts: 7230

I don't know if these allegations are true, but if anyone is actually showing sheets or handkerchiefs, they are just following chumash literally. Why would you expect them not to do that?

Gold Member Joined: Aug 20 2007 Posts: 1308

Muslims do not do that. Some CULTURES may do that, but Muslims as a whole do not.

Saying this is basically the equivalent of saying that Jews have relations through a hole in a sheet or make challah with the blood of gentile children.

Gold Member Joined: Aug 20 2007 Posts: 1308

Roma purity laws, marime, are fascinating to me: http://www.imninalu.net/marime.htm

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 12 2009 Posts: 13159