Spitting

Posted: Thu, Feb 02 2012, 11:45 pm Post subject: spitting

my 2 yr old DS loves to spit. whenever he doesn't want to do something he says no & starts spitting. I tried already to tell him to stop I warned him that I'm gonna give him pepper.... nothing helps. any recommendations/advice I wish he would stop it already. its very nerve racking & annoying
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IF THERE IS PLACE IN YOUR HEART THERE IS PLACE IN YOUR HOME

Gold Member Joined: Feb 12 2008 Posts: 2386

I use time outs for everything.
I would not use pepper since it is really quite cruel and you do not want to threaten anything you do not plan on following through with because then the kid knows you are just giving empty threats and does not believe you. I would count to three and if he doesn't stop he goes in the corner. I would let him spit as much as he wants as long as he stays in the corner but he cannot come out while he is spitting. Every time he starts spitting he has to go back in the corner. If you give him attention and there are no negative consequences like interrupted play he has no reason to stop the behaviour. You don't engage with him at all while he is in time out and if he leaves just pick him up and put him back.

Posted: Thu, Feb 02 2012, 11:55 pm Post subject: re: spitting

well, does a 2 yr old understand what a corner is? I actually never give him pepper I just tell him I would. I would make him smell it & he sees for himself that its not good & he would close the lid himself & I put it away till the next time (which might be 5 min. later lol) it really does NOT HELP

Gold Member Joined: Feb 12 2008 Posts: 2386

Threats really don't work.

I don't frame it as a punishment because it isn't and he doesn't need to understand. You just remove him from the situation. He is spitting because you are reacting and you are reacting because it drives you nuts. I stick my daughter in the corner and then stand with her so she doesn't leave and often just taking her away from wherever she was works. Once she stops whatever she was doing I count to 10 and she gives me a hug and we go back to playing.

Giving pepper is a horrible thing to do but not giving pepper after you told him you would means he knows he isn't actually going to receive a consequence. You can never threaten with something you don't intend to do because kids pick up on it immediately. I try to always follow through. One of the reasons I rarely remove privileges (like saying if you do xyz we won't go to the park) because I don't want to go through with them because they also punish me. Timeouts are easy and really effective. I even do them on the street or in the store.

Posted: Fri, Feb 03 2012, 2:18 am Post subject: re: spitting

thanks we will try it I hope it works cuz I'm gone totally crazy