Can I leave the kids alone?

Posted: Tue, Jan 24 2012, 5:19 pm Post subject: Can I leave the kids alone?

I get together with my friends approximately once a week for "game" night (anything from Scrabble to Monopoly, to nothing at all). I've been doing it for a few years. We meet for about 1 1/2 to 2 hours and my dh babysits. I love it and it's so great for me to get out (stay in) with friends.

Last year my dh joined a night kollel that he goes to a couple of nights a week, one night being on my game night. We usually meet at 8:00 and kollel started at 9:00, so I would come home after an hour so he could go learn. I really hated leaving early, but we didn't want to have to worry about getting a babysitter every week.

My oldest (a boy) is 12, and I'm wondering if this year I really have to bother coming home early. By 9:00, all of the other kids are in bed sleeping, probably sleeping. Only my oldest is still out of bed (and possibly my second oldest, a 10 year old). I'm only 4 blocks away, with my car, and I could be home within a minute if I'm needed.

Do you think I can have my son "babysit" while I'm gone. He would have no responsibilities except to call me if one of the other kids get up, and I'd be home in a minute, even faster than I often respond when I'm at home. I'm a little nervous with the idea of it, but I'm really wondering if it isn't time to try.

Posted: Tue, Jan 24 2012, 5:21 pm Post subject: re: Can I leave the kids alone?

I was babysitting for neighbors at that age. It depends on how responsible he is.
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Platinum Member Joined: Apr 12 2010 Posts: 5773

I personally wouldn't do it but I am scared and I wasn't brought up this way. But if you have Jewish neighbors/friendly neighbors that can check in or he can call if CH"V something happens then I don't see why not.
Make sure he has a phone with him and he knows contact numbers. Also if he is responsible.
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Gold Member Joined: Jan 12 2010 Posts: 2261 Location: US

You probably will get different opinions, but I think it's OK. But it definitely depends on your child and situation, and you have to be the one to decide that it's ok for you.

I've had people almost begging my dd to babysit at 12 and I had to tell them, sorry, my dd wasn't comfortable doing it in other peoples homes at night yet. In our own home it's different I've let my 12 yo babysit when the little ones are sleeping.

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 18 2010 Posts: 3017

Is your son mature and responsible? Also, ask him. 12 is very borderline- some can do it, others can't. Ask your son how comfortable he feels with the arrangement.

Silver Member Joined: Dec 06 2005 Posts: 927

I would if he's ok with it and after having a fire drill to make sure he can evacuate safely if need be
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Posted: Tue, Jan 24 2012, 11:18 pm Post subject: re: Can I leave the kids alone?

How many other children are there? I leave my 12 year old to watch the baby when I am only a few blocks away, but for me it would depend on how many other children there are if C"V there is an emergency.
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Senior Member Joined: Jan 26 2010 Posts: 208

Sounds OK to me. II would do it.

Posted: Wed, Jan 25 2012, 4:49 pm Post subject: re: Can I leave the kids alone?

That is a lot of responsibility-if c"v s/t happens.
And 4 blocks can depend on where you live too. By me 4 blocks is less than a minute. In Boro park or flatbush it can be 10 minutes.

According to your first post, your son would be in charge for about 30 minutes to 1 hour-right? If the 4 block distance is a fast return one, I would probably try it out for 1/2 hour one week and see what happens.

One precaution note. If c"v the police show up and find a 12 year old watching 6 younger children...............

Posted: Tue, Jul 03 2012, 12:39 pm Post subject: re: Can I leave the kids alone?

Does anyone know what the minimum age is for a child to be left on his own at home in the US?
I don't think there are such rules in Israel, so that's why im' asking.
New York to be specific.

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 17 2011 Posts: 5952

It can vary between states. 12 is officially old enough to stay by themselves in NYS. They cannot babysit officially.

Big problem for a family in my town that did that this week. It was a boy of twelve and he was watching 3 younger. The jewish neighbor called the police.

Diamond Member Joined: Aug 07 2006 Posts: 2556

Plenty of kids babysit at age 12.

There appears to be no minimum age for leaving children alone in NY: http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm

It really depends on the child. Teach him how to call 911/Hatzoloh (he should know this anyway). If all the little ones will be asleep he won't have much to do for them - it would be different if they were all awake and needing attention. Having a trusted neighbor (Jewish or not) is a bonus but not strictly necessary.

Posted: Tue, Jul 03 2012, 1:06 pm Post subject: re: Can I leave the kids alone?

I once went to a shiur day and the sitters ranged from 6 to 12, in a separate building. Shocked

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Posted: Tue, Jul 03 2012, 1:21 pm Post subject: re: Can I leave the kids alone?

If it were me and I thought my 12 year old could handle it, I'd try it once and see.

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Senior Member Joined: Sep 27 2011 Posts: 174

you should definitely check the age for your state. in some states, there isnt a specific age, but there is a criteria and checklist that you would check to make sure that your child can be responsible. obviously, if the child is worried or scared or unsure, it might not be a good idea. they need to know what to do in case of an emergency, and you need to know the dynamics of your kids if they were up, etc. I do think, based on your description that it would be fine, but you'd want to go over some details with the kid, and only leave him for short periods of time, and check in with him to make sure that he's good with it.