 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
| Shuly |
0 likes
|
Gold Member
Joined: Jul 16 2010
Posts: 1351
Location: Israel
|
 Posted: Thu, Aug 25 2011, 3:21 am Post subject: Life as the son of a Child Molester |
| |
This was posted on yeshiva world here:
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/life-as-the-son-of-a-child-molester-my-story
| Quote: | Neglected. Not cared for. Shunned.
These are the words that came to mind when I tried to sum up my life. When the truth came out about my father, so many things changed that I couldn't keep track of all of them. I knew my parents were getting divorced, I knew my father was moving out, but that was the extent of what I was able to wrap my mind around. I did NOT think about what my father was, how things would change for me in terms of friends, neighbors, shul members, and the community at large. People often don't think of the perpetrator's family when such a tragedy comes to the public's attention. They just want to get the molester off the streets, out of society, and out of everyone's life. Which is the appropriate action. But the family often gets forgotten about, and the children of the perpetrator suffer. When such a terrible thing happens, people seem to not want to get involved. They feel awkward, uncomfortable, and unsure of how to help. A lot of my friends became distant from me, stopped talking to me. Some neighbors started to ignore me. Going to shul became a nightmare. No one would say “hello”, “good shabbos”, “how are you?”. I wouldn't get kibbudim anymore. Parents seemed to not want their children talking to me, maybe for fear that I had my father's “disease”, which I find extremely humiliating and disrespectful. Life without a father, which what it essentially was, was that more difficult because I didn't have the support and care I so desperately needed from friends and the community.
And yet, I turned out alright. More than alright. Great. I know that I am great guy. I love helping people, I care for people, I am kind to people. I can get along with everyone. So how did I turn out so fine? I would love to say that G-d did it, but that would be taking away credit from myself. G-d helped ME do it. I didn't want to become the people that abandoned me. The friends that ignored me. The shul members that shunned me. I wanted to show everyone how to REALLY be mature. How to REALLY act properly. How I don't NEED their care and sympathy to become a wonderful person. I wanted to prove them wrong about me. I had an insatiable desire to succeed, become the best person I can, to show how I can rise above all the challenges thrown my way. And I feel that I've succeeded.
Of course, people still ignore me, still shun me, still don't care for me. They don't realize how good of a person I am. So did I fail? No! I don't really need others to see what I have become without their help. I think G-d just wanted me to see for myself how I can overcome these things. It is just for me, to know that any challenge that I face, I can overcome it. So everything that happened was for my good. It helped make me a wonderful person. It boosted my self-esteem. It showed me I can rise above any challenge. So I am thankful to G-d for giving me my life, for I feel that without all these challenges, I would turn out mediocre. I wouldn't possess the qualities that I have.
I still face many challenges that arise as a result of what happened, such as in dating. Many girls, and many parents of girls, would not consider me for a potential candidate because of my father, and I understand that. Is it fair? Well, it really doesn't matter, because the girl I will marry will be able to look past all of these things and see me for the person I am. I think G-d is saving me time by cutting off all the non-compatible people before it even starts, so it might even be a good thing.
When I really think about my life, the conclusion that I come to is: I wouldn't exchange it for anything.
To all who have read this, I hope you got inspiration from my story. I hope you will now face the challenges in your lives and realize that you can overcome them. That everything you have gone through was for your good, and your potential cannot be reached any other way. That you begin to look at things in a positive light, and know that G-d truly loves you, and knows what's best for you, even if you sometimes don't understand.
Thank you for reading this. |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
| loveNlearn |
0 likes
|
Active Poster
Joined: Feb 12 2009
Posts: 51
|
| Posted: Thu, Aug 25 2011, 3:53 pm Post subject: re: Life as the son of a Child Molester |
| |
Wow, that's amazing. People have an amazing ability to overcome difficulties. Attitude makes all the difference. I never thought about the effect on the children of molesters. I never thought of them as being "family men". But this definitely helps to sensitize me. And inspires me to turn to Hashem during distress. And to appreciate people's resilience and ability to choose happiness and success  . Thanks!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
| wereafamily |
0 likes
|
Gold Member
Joined: Oct 23 2010
Posts: 1287
Location: Monsey
|
| Posted: Thu, Aug 25 2011, 4:36 pm Post subject: re: Life as the son of a Child Molester |
| |
| Wow, so inspiring...
|
|
| Back to top |
|
| StrongIma |
0 likes
|
Diamond Member
Joined: Sep 16 2007
Posts: 4185
|
| Posted: Thu, Aug 25 2011, 4:53 pm Post subject: Re: re: Life as the son of a Child Molester |
| |
| wereafamily wrote: | | Wow, so inspiring... | 
_________________
The results of our actions are not up to us or even necessarily a direct consequence of them. The only thing that's really in our power is our perspective, that everything that happens is for the (our) good.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
| mimismile |
0 likes
|
Executive Member
Joined: Jan 25 2009
Posts: 328
|
| Posted: Fri, Aug 26 2011, 8:33 am Post subject: |
| |
| wow! thats beautiful! thanx for posting
|
|
| Back to top |
|
| Pickle Lady |
0 likes
|
Moderator
Joined: Sep 04 2004
Posts: 4765
Location: Pickleland
|
| Posted: Sat, Aug 27 2011, 11:31 pm Post subject: |
| |
So sad. People are so stupid. They make excuses for molesters but then their actions come to light. Why would stupid people punish the kids, I have total ruchmunis on them. They loose a father and they get shunned.
_________________
Boy 10, Boy 8, Girl 7, Boy 5, Boy 3, Boy 15 months
|
|
| Back to top |
|
| chani8 |
0 likes
|
Platinum Member
Joined: Jul 28 2011
Age: 43
Posts: 6968
Location: Eretz Yisroel
|
| Posted: Mon, Jan 16 2012, 10:43 am Post subject: re: Life as the son of a Child Molester |
| |
After a local teen was accused and arrested for orally raping two boys, my neighbor saw that I had the boy's little sisters over to play by my girls. My neighbor was outraged that I would do such a thing, and didn't I know what a horrible family they had, and well, the girls were labelled evil even though they were totally innocent and good little girls.
_________________
black sheep wrote: Trauma doesn't ruin lives; never recovering from trauma ruins lives.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
| PrincessGirl |
0 likes
|
Active Poster
Joined: Oct 02 2011
Posts: 72
|
| Posted: Mon, Jan 16 2012, 11:30 am Post subject: re: Life as the son of a Child Molester |
| |
| Wow - I know who it is!! I read it there too!!! Its terrible!!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
| Similar Topics |
| Topic |
Author |
Forum |
Replies |
Last Post |
 |
Worry about a child molester?
|
amother |
Parenting our children |
62 |
Tue, Jun 05 2012, 1:54 am 
amother |
 |
her friend's father was/is a child mo...
|
amother |
Parenting our children |
9 |
Mon, Feb 04 2013, 9:23 pm
mummiedearest |
|
Child Life Specialist
|
mom2bsn |
Working Women |
4 |
Sun, Oct 14 2012, 1:44 pm
cbsmommy |
|
How to save your child's life
|
MaBelleVie |
Parenting our children |
30 |
Tue, Jan 08 2013, 12:50 am
devo1982 |
|
FOR ANYONE WITH A CHILD SOMEWHERE IN ...
|
technic |
Parenting our children |
0 |
Fri, Jul 14 2006, 1:24 am
technic |
| Quick Reply
|
|
|
| Choose Display Order |
|
| User Permissions |
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
