An Offer I Couldn't Refuse

Posted: Thu, Jan 12 2012, 6:12 am Post subject: re: An Offer I Couldn't Refuse

op, I just saw your thread today, but I will post anyway.

I dont feel like I can advise you, those are difficult choices to make, but I can empathise on the various difficulties. I just feel like giving you a big hug.

Posted: Thu, Jan 12 2012, 6:50 am Post subject: re: An Offer I Couldn't Refuse

I like T and P's idea of outsourcing.

I can see why in many cases it wouldn't be financially worthwhile. I've done some freelance work in translating, and the time it would take to check someone else's work would make it not worth it for me.

But it could help you finish up the last few projects you're working on without running yourself ragged.

Do you have friends or acquaintances in the same line of work? Maybe you could pass on some of your clients to someone you know and trust, and make an informal deal that you're passing on your extra work to help her out, and in the future she'll try to help you out. Eg if you're looking for freelance work in the future for whatever reason, she'll pass back some of the work from "your" clients and/or give you any extra work she has.

That way you'll leave your clients on a good note (you helping to replace yourself and not just leaving them hanging) and might not have to give them up completely.

Personally I love working set hours from home even though with what I do now freelancing often pays more. It's so much easier knowing how much I'll be working and when, and more importantly, not having to find all those hours of work each week from scratch. Like someone said, "feast or famine," freelance work seemed to always be 55 hours a week or less than 20, it's nice having something that's around what I need no more no less.

Posted: Thu, Jan 12 2012, 6:59 am Post subject: re: An Offer I Couldn't Refuse

I can't really advise you what to do, I can only tell you that I wouldn't do it. I worked for many years outside the home and then I started freelance translating. It's true it takes a few years to build up your client�le, but that's exactly where you are now - and I love being my own boss. And that's not as a single mother. It's true there are days when I am stressed out from so much work, but if there's a PTA meeting or an appointment or I have something else I need to do, I am the boss. When my children come home I can stop for a few minutes to talk to them, and if they need me for something I can stop for an hour.

To me working as a WAHM while being policed is the worst of both worlds - once you go out, you come home and you are finished. Here the work is always there but you don't have the advantage of having a day off if you want/need to.

Also, you are stuck with the work/ rates this boss will pay you. What if you can gradually raise your rates with new clients?

It sounds like you have found something relatively non-stressful and maybe that's worth not having a guaranteed income.
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Gold Member Joined: Sep 22 2009 Posts: 1740

About the kid's coming home when you still have to work - I would either get a babysitter to be with them or if they are old enough have them stay alone but no "just saying hi"

Explain to them that you have to work set hours and as such it is as if you were out of the house - lock yourself in a room and don't come out unless you smell smoke.

Or maybe you can start earlier so that you finish your day when they come home?
I don't work from home but my employer lets me work less hours from the office if I make it up from home (that same day mostly) so I work an hour in the morning b/f the kids wake up and another at night after they go to bed but I would never try to work with them around.

Gold Member Joined: Jun 01 2009 Posts: 2307

Have you accepted this as a permanent position or are you currently on trial? If you agreed to only do, say 6 hours per day would he consider it? Perhaps he's only trying to push his luck but would still agree to hire you on better terms. When you attend this meeting try to bring it up and see if there is any leeway. Good Luck, I really hope things work out!

Posted: Thu, Jan 12 2012, 1:32 pm Post subject: re: An Offer I Couldn't Refuse

I have no advise, but wish you lots of hatzlacha in whatever choice you make.

Silver Member Joined: May 15 2007 Posts: 935

Executive Member Joined: Jun 08 2009 Age: 28 Posts: 322

I just want to comment that I have been following this thread and I admire your dedication to work and home life. It seems that your priorites is a good balance of family and work. I am also a working mother and only recently was able to create a balance in my life that I am much happier with! I work long hours 4 days a week but I work half a day from home on Fridays. I really like the phrase- I work to live, not live to work. I know I need to provide for my family by working but I don't want to sacrifice my time with my family. I just found everything you say very commendable. Hatzlacha~

Posted: Thu, Jan 12 2012, 7:32 pm Post subject: re: An Offer I Couldn't Refuse

Hi everyone,

It's OP again.

First of all, thanks so much for all of the replies. I value each one of them and there are many good points made here.

Today was my second day, and this was much easier. To begin with, we had an office lunch, which was very nice, and I got a chance to speak to Mr. Boss who wanted to know how I felt after my first day. When I told him that the Goalsetter thing made me feel pressured, he explained that I had misunderstood the function. He said that it's only at the beginning that he'll tell me each day what goals to set. After that, I will do it myself. The only thing is, as he said, in the office, everyone works and that's it, whereas he knows that at home it is easy to get distracted. Therefore, he wants to help me manage the time and maximize thejobs that I do. I heard that and it made it all seem a lot less pressurizing. He said I really shouldn't get so worried if I don't finish a job. The main point is to learn how to realistically plan and prioritize.

I asked him about lunch, breaks, etc, and he laughed and said that of course my lunch break is on his time and that I should definitely take a few breaks on his time. Same with when the kids come in. Of course I can take ten minutes to say hi to everyone and then go back to work without feeling that I am taking from his time.

I have to say that I was very open with him and he was actually very nice about it all. I asked him, if I have errands, can I take off a few hours here and there. He said I could, but I would need to make them up. Now that is going to be a bit hard to do, but I will just have to plan things a bit differently. He also said that he has no problem with me keeping up some of the freelancing just as long as his work doesn't suffer. Again - fair enough. Though that will be hard, but perhaps the extra graft is worth it as long as my kids don't lose out too much.

Regarding Shalhevet's point about losing the autonomy I have had till now - that's true and that is the hardest part of all this.

But when I go through it in my mind, the pluses still outweigh the minuses:

Pluses:
- Steady income as opposed to getting it from here and there. No more worrying about what I am going to do at the end of the project and getting to a point of near starvation when things are bad. (Yes that has happened in the past, but not so much recently, b"H.)
- If I can keep up my other supplementary jobs (I have a few that are steady and add a bit extra), I'll be close to my goal of making my mortgage a third of my net income, which is what it is supposed to be. Till now, it's been half and that has been really hard for me. The end of the month is always terrible - I find I go beyond my overdraft limit and we go crazy. To put an end to that strain is really worth it.
- I am learning a whole new skill by working in this job, which can never be bad.
- I get a full work pension plan, whereas before it was only half.
- I feel like more of a mensch, being a part of a company, rather than where I have been until now.
- For the past three months, to give you an example, I needed desperately to buy myself a pair of shoes because the ones I had were literally out of shape and falling to bits. But I couldn't, because each time my kids needed shoes, so that's where my budget went. Same with a bra (!!!!) I was in awful, saggy underwear. (Needless to say, you can guess what I did when he gave me the bonus.) I am just grateful to get out of that scene and never be in a situation where I have to choose between my children and my footwear and underwear.

Minuses:
- My house is a dump. It's really hard to keep up with the housework. Am debating whether or not to get a cleaner.
- The kids needing to get used to the situation, but everyone was in a better mood today.
- Losing my autonomy. I am not yet sure how I'll do my errands. But then what does everyone else do who works in an office? My boss does care - knowing me for so long, he knows I am under a lot of pressure. But I can see he is very strict about taking too much time, so I'll have to play that one by ear.
- Possibly losing a good business - but it ain't gone yet. So far, all my clients have been great about this situation. Let's see what happens ... I'm still hoping to fit in my better clients, and I have already said goodbye to my smaller ones who were not that prepared to pay good rates and gave me little work anyway. My long-term people have said they are prepared to keep working with me even if it takes longer so let's see ...

So this is where I am right now ...

Platinum Member Joined: Apr 06 2008 Posts: 5149

Silver Member Joined: Apr 19 2009 Posts: 585

it sounds like your boss is a real mentsch. glad to hear day 2 went better.

Executive Member Joined: Jul 09 2008 Posts: 377

just wanted to chime in

I've been following this thread, and I'm so happy today was a better day.

Beginner Joined: Jan 09 2012 Posts: 2

Something I've learned in the years of working full time (out of the house) and doing online schooling in the evenings is that the busier I am, the more I can get done. It took some time to get used to the schedule, but I found myself to be a lot more organized. It sounds like you have a lot of energy, and definitely the motivation to make it all work- I think that the adrenalin will keep it all moving Smile

Diamond Member Joined: Mar 08 2010 Posts: 2532

I'm glad to hear that it went better today, thanks for keeping us posted.
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Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less - Timothy Keller

Posted: Thu, Jan 12 2012, 10:43 pm Post subject: re: An Offer I Couldn't Refuse

It sounds like you've got a good start on a difficult situation. You've got your priorities right, that's a good step. If you have to work 8.5 hours, an hour lunch is usually included in the price. Did the boss clarify this? Maybe when your dc come home you can take an official 15 minute break, and work that later while they're doing homework.
If you're trying to finish up the old projects, you are getting some extra income until they're finished, can you hire extra cleaning/babysitting help? Even your 11 year old could have a teenager take her on an outing for an hour a day until you're back on track.
Why does the boss care if you do your 2 hours at night? And if he doesn't, can you do so much work? Maybe the extra pay can go to a regular helper.

Posted: Thu, Jan 12 2012, 10:48 pm Post subject: re: An Offer I Couldn't Refuse

This is the last amother. Oops, I didn't see the second page, and I see most of my questions were answered. I wish you a lot of hatzlacha!