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| amother |
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Amother
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 Posted: Wed, Jan 11 2012, 9:12 pm Post subject: Ready to quit!!!! |
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I am ready to give up homeschooling. Well, my kids love it and my husband loves it, but I am going out of my mind. The kids enjoy the curriculum and they enjoy learning. They are doing well, BH. Some days are wonderful, and I feel great. But others......
I have a whole ton of issues that I am dealing with.
1. I feel we were kind of "forced" into this situation. The school they were in was awful, so not having any other choice, we decided to homeschool. We can't move. On good days, I am OK, but on bad days, I am very resentful. Resentful of dh's job, resentful of this town.
2. I was informed by a women in town after a tehillim group that because we don't send our kds to the local school, we are not a part of the frum community. I stopped going to the group, but really do miss it. I just can't handle anymore comments like this. I can tell she is not the only one who feels this way. It stinks not to be part of the community. We were even taken off of the shul phone list announcng community events. I was also informed that when I was sitting shiva a while back, there was low attendance because we homeschool, and don't send our kids to the local school. Nice, huh?
3. I have a bunch of younger children, so because I am so busy with the older kids with school all day, we had to hire a nanny to help with them. This is bothering me so much! I want to be the one to take them on walks or to the park! I miss this! I used to love my mornings with with the little ones!
4. I have no time to myself. Some days I don't even have time to shower. It's ridiculous. I am miserable.
5. I miss being my kids mommy rather than their school principal. I would rather bake cookies with them than teach them how to write an essay.
6. Since the kids have no where to go in the morning, they feel they can stay up however late they want. Seriously, sometimes I hear them awake at 2 am! So, not only do I no longer get mornings or afternoons to do anything, I don't have evenings either. And by the evening, they no longer listen to me since they have been listening to me all day long! I have tried everything...incentives, punishments..... DH is no help,....he does his own thing all evening long after work and then just flops into bed whenever he feels like it.
7. DH couldn't care less about my complaints. He likes the homeschooling. The kids like the homeschooling. So I am stuck.
This all needs to get better FAST! If it doesn't, I may really lose my mind!
Other homeschoolers: Please help! I know deep down this is the best thing for my kids, but I can't take it any more! It may be good for them, but it's awful for me. I have tried to tell myself that it's great they are learning and that they like it, so it's worth all the sacrifices being made. Some days it works, but those days are getting less and less.
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| yaelinIN |
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| Posted: Wed, Jan 11 2012, 9:33 pm Post subject: Re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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I sympathize with you there sister!
Many of us are dealing with many of the same issues that you are. Some people got pushed into homeschooling (even if we like it now -- sometimes). Many people have communal shunning for their choice to homeschool. Some of us worry that we are not helping our family (littles vs. big ones) or even ourselves be happy homeschooling.
I know I have times like this (like right now??) and I try to step back and see what I can do to make the situation work a little better and even more to make my feeling about the situation more positive.
Can you ask your husband to step up to the plate (less staying up late and taking on a subject or two, perhaps on Sundays/Fridays after he gets home) more since he likes homeschooling (or does he like it because he doesn't have to be involved?). Since you have a nanny can you leave her in charge of the kids one morning or afternoon a week to go recharge your batteries away from your family (this is one I am having a hard time doing since I cannot find a day time sitter for my kids)? Can you figure out the bare minimum you can achieve school-wise and shut off the school day as early as possible (I stop all school at 4pm regardless of what has been done -- anything else turns into "homework" for them to do on Friday or Sunday) Many HSing parents are tough about bedtimes for this reason.
| Quote: |
7. DH couldn't care less about my complaints. He likes the homeschooling. The kids like the homeschooling. So I am stuck.
This all needs to get better FAST! If it doesn't, I may really lose my mind!
Other homeschoolers: Please help! I know deep down this is the best thing for my kids, but I can't take it any more! It may be good for them, but it's awful for me. I have tried to tell myself that it's great they are learning and that they like it, so it's worth all the sacrifices being made. Some days it works, but those days are getting less and less. |
If you DH doesn't care, is he willing to put them back in school? If not, he needs to understand you are a TEAM and there is no ME in TEAM. Meaning, he has to shoulder some of the burden to help you be a healthy mom.
Would you consider un-schooling for a week to get yourself some mom-time (use that nanny) and for you to plan a more mom-friendly way to homeschool? I have done that in the past and come up with good scheduling ideas and other ways to make the lifestyle livable for me and the whole family.
Hatzlacha
Yael
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| amother |
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| Posted: Wed, Jan 11 2012, 10:13 pm Post subject: re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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OP here: Thanks for the reply..
So, to answer your questions...
My husband helps as much as he can. Which is sometimes a bunch, sometimes not at all. His job is not consistent with how busy it is. Some weeks he is home a ton, other weeks he gets in a 1 am every day. I can't really assign a subject to him. He helps when he can. Sending them back to the school is not an option. I wouldn't want that either after all we went through with that place. (Loooong story!)
My nanny was hired for the little kids. My leaving for a morning has never worked out well. It's too much for her with the little ones and the older ones. She is great with the little kids, so it's not worth finding someone else. Still, I have no time to myself.
I have tried to set a time limit for work, 5pm Many times. And it just doesn't work. By the end of the day, my kids just don't listen. Often, because of work, dh isn't home until very late, so I do bedtime alone. Earlier this week I enforced a set bed time. It worked for one night. The next night they were totally uncooperative. My kids basically decide together to be unccoperative, and then that's the end. Another late night. I feel like I am becoming the teacher in school that all the kids hate or don't listen to!
We use a program that has certain deadlines, so I can't just take off a week. The program is good in the sense that I don't have to put together a curriculum, but it also means that we can't just do what we want for a week.. I don't want to discontinue this program. I really don't want to create my own curriculum.
DH is so "high" on the homeschooling. He helps when he can, but it's just not consistent enough. So what is happening is that I am becoming the "mean" parent and he is becoming the "nice" parent since he doesn't have to deal with the schooling or the bedtimes, or any of the other issues all day long.
How do you make the distinction where school ends and family life begins? Or is it all just the same thing?
Really, I haven't even showered since Sunday morning. Right now I should be having an evening to myself. Yet, I have 4 kids sitting in the dining room, not listening to a word I say. Other kids upstairs doing who knows what! And a husband who is in his office, who has been promising he'd help for 2 hours now and hasn't!
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| Merrymom |
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| Posted: Wed, Jan 11 2012, 10:36 pm Post subject: re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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Can the older kids commute? I don't homeschool but my dh fantasizes about it which basically means giving me more work than the already too much that I currently have. I don't feel that it's right for one spouse to be all excited about homeschooling when he has none of the responsibility. I think you really should decide that it's not for you and if it's not your outlook will be different. Instead of fighting for ways to make it work and getting angry and resentful, you'll be looking for other solutions for their schooling. This might be a private tutor, other parents that homeschool who are willing to take turns, commuting, or even moving if you really need to.
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| yaelinIN |
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| Posted: Wed, Jan 11 2012, 10:49 pm Post subject: re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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What are the kid's ages? Is this your first year HSing? Have the children learned the most important lesson in all of HSing -- to entertain themselves for LONG periods of time??
I hope you don't mind me pulling a play from the Xian HSer handbook - if the mom is the teacher, then the father is the Prinicipal. You shouldn't be the bad guy, if your husband cannot pull his weight (not even on Sundays??) in teaching, he really should be where the buck stops for your children's behavior and/or academic issues.
Back to my first topic: When I have had a babysitter, I expect the children to occupy themselves for the most part. Babysitters take care of blood, gore, and under 3 year olds, IMHO.
I do make a distinction. I literally shut my ears when they try to engage me about school after the "day" is over. I am very firm about being in bed (not necessarily sleeping for the older ones, but QUIET or lights out!) by an early enough time for me to get other things done.
If my kids were up right now (and one is but out a sports practice and will be home in half an hour), I would physically march them up to bed with a smile but say this is your place to be after Xo'clock and that's final. I would then walk into DH's office and tell him he needs to grab a book/media device and plant his bottom in a chair by the kids' rooms and make them stay in their beds.
I know I am not you and my family isn't yours, but I have rough days/weeks/months(!!) and I try to reign them in using the methods I have talked about because we all need a sane/non-murderous Mom.
Hugs galore!
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| amother |
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| Posted: Wed, Jan 11 2012, 11:18 pm Post subject: Re: re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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| Merrymom wrote: | | Can the older kids commute? I don't homeschool but my dh fantasizes about it which basically means giving me more work than the already too much that I currently have. I don't feel that it's right for one spouse to be all excited about homeschooling when he has none of the responsibility. I think you really should decide that it's not for you and if it's not your outlook will be different. Instead of fighting for ways to make it work and getting angry and resentful, you'll be looking for other solutions for their schooling. This might be a private tutor, other parents that homeschool who are willing to take turns, commuting, or even moving if you really need to. |
OP here: There isn't any place even somewhat close that the older kids could commute to. I think things would be so much better if there were other families homeschooling here, so we weren't the only ones. That would be great, and things wouldn't be as hard. If I didn't have people telling me we aren't part of the community b/c we homeschool, and actively doing saying things to let us know this, I wouldn't feel as awful (I mean, people here knew that there was low attendance for shiva and the reason was b/c we homeschool. That's just awful!. I noticed that one day I sat around and the entire day only 3 people came. Someone had told me to be prepared for my living room to be "packed", so I was a bit surprised when it wasn't, but let it go. I had no idea until recently what the reason was! Or taking us off a community phone announcement list, and then people saying, "Gee, haven't seen you around lately" Of course not, we don't know when anything happens!)
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| Posted: Wed, Jan 11 2012, 11:25 pm Post subject: Re: re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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| amother wrote: | | Merrymom wrote: | | Can the older kids commute? I don't homeschool but my dh fantasizes about it which basically means giving me more work than the already too much that I currently have. I don't feel that it's right for one spouse to be all excited about homeschooling when he has none of the responsibility. I think you really should decide that it's not for you and if it's not your outlook will be different. Instead of fighting for ways to make it work and getting angry and resentful, you'll be looking for other solutions for their schooling. This might be a private tutor, other parents that homeschool who are willing to take turns, commuting, or even moving if you really need to. |
OP here: There isn't any place even somewhat close that the older kids could commute to. I think things would be so much better if there were other families homeschooling here, so we weren't the only ones. That would be great, and things wouldn't be as hard. If I didn't have people telling me we aren't part of the community b/c we homeschool, and actively doing saying things to let us know this, I wouldn't feel as awful (I mean, people here knew that there was low attendance for shiva and the reason was b/c we homeschool. That's just awful!. I noticed that one day I sat around and the entire day only 3 people came. Someone had told me to be prepared for my living room to be "packed", so I was a bit surprised when it wasn't, but let it go. I had no idea until recently what the reason was! Or taking us off a community phone announcement list, and then people saying, "Gee, haven't seen you around lately" Of course not, we don't know when anything happens!) |
I think what that person told you about not being part of the community is just ridiculous and absolutely not true. Who gets shunned because of homeschooling? I never heard of such a thing. Are you well known in the community? Maybe people just didn't hear that you were sitting shiva.
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| yaelinIN |
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| Posted: Wed, Jan 11 2012, 11:34 pm Post subject: Re: re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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| Merrymom wrote: | =
I think what that person told you about not being part of the community is just ridiculous and absolutely not true. Who gets shunned because of homeschooling? I never heard of such a thing. Are you well known in the community? Maybe people just didn't hear that you were sitting shiva. |
Sorry Merrymom, people DO get shunned because they homeschool. We are having a conversation about it right now on Jewish, Orthodox and Homeschooling. 
People get taken off community lists, Rabbis tell them they are destroying communities, children are not allowed to play with their children or worse the children make fun of the HSed children. Sad but true.
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| amother |
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Amother
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| Posted: Wed, Jan 11 2012, 11:40 pm Post subject: Re: re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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| yaelinIN wrote: | What are the kid's ages? Is this your first year HSing? Have the children learned the most important lesson in all of HSing -- to entertain themselves for LONG periods of time??
I hope you don't mind me pulling a play from the Xian HSer handbook - if the mom is the teacher, then the father is the Prinicipal. You shouldn't be the bad guy, if your husband cannot pull his weight (not even on Sundays??) in teaching, he really should be where the buck stops for your children's behavior and/or academic issues.
Back to my first topic: When I have had a babysitter, I expect the children to occupy themselves for the most part. Babysitters take care of blood, gore, and under 3 year olds, IMHO.
I do make a distinction. I literally shut my ears when they try to engage me about school after the "day" is over. I am very firm about being in bed (not necessarily sleeping for the older ones, but QUIET or lights out!) by an early enough time for me to get other things done.
If my kids were up right now (and one is but out a sports practice and will be home in half an hour), I would physically march them up to bed with a smile but say this is your place to be after Xo'clock and that's final. I would then walk into DH's office and tell him he needs to grab a book/media device and plant his bottom in a chair by the kids' rooms and make them stay in their beds.
I know I am not you and my family isn't yours, but I have rough days/weeks/months(!!) and I try to reign them in using the methods I have talked about because we all need a sane/non-murderous Mom.
Hugs galore! |
OP here: My kids range in age from 1 to 14, with a whole bunch of different ages in between. This is our 3rd year homeschooling. B'H, my kids are extremely close and really get along well. They actually have no problem entertaining themselves at all! Maybe they entertain themselves a little too well (like at 2 am!)
The other night at midnight I walked into one of their rooms, and the girls were cleaning their room! "But Imma, we are cleaning!" Oy. I sent them to bed and told them they could finish in the morning. So, no problems with them finding things to do to keep busy.
A few weeks ago I told my husband exactly what you said, that he needs to be the principal. He actually agreed. I think we need to have the discussion again.
I think I just need to start leaving for little bits of time in the morning, even just for a stroll, see how it goes, and build up to a few hours. Do you think that would work?
I will try what you said, just being more firm about when they can and can't talk to me about school. When school ends, and mommy time begins. Maybe incentives like a baking project if they finish there work by 4 pm will get them moving a little faster?
I got so frustrated with them earlier, 4 of them sitting around and not listening. We have a system that if they do certain chores, they get tickets for what they've done. We have a whole point system. At the end of the week, we have a raffle. They also get prizes for the amount of total tickets they have. (I came up with this because I felt that they should get a reward for helping, and I didn't like the idea of a set allowance) Anyway, I told them they needed to go sit in the room next to my husband's office immediately or they would lose all of their tickets for today. They moved so fast! AND, then they must have begun to annoy my husband, so he quickly took action.
I think I need to have another discussion with my husband and give both him and my children firm times of when schooling can occur, firm bedtimes, etc.
Thanks for all the advice and the hugs!
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| Posted: Wed, Jan 11 2012, 11:49 pm Post subject: re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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| Can you find a retired teacher/tutor to oversee the homeschoolers? Then you won't have to be telling them what to do all day long and you'll be able to focus on the younger ones.
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| amother |
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| Posted: Wed, Jan 11 2012, 11:49 pm Post subject: Re: re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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| yaelinIN wrote: | | Merrymom wrote: | =
I think what that person told you about not being part of the community is just ridiculous and absolutely not true. Who gets shunned because of homeschooling? I never heard of such a thing. Are you well known in the community? Maybe people just didn't hear that you were sitting shiva. |
Sorry Merrymom, people DO get shunned because they homeschool. We are having a conversation about it right now on Jewish, Orthodox and Homeschooling.
People get taken off community lists, Rabbis tell them they are destroying communities, children are not allowed to play with their children or worse the children make fun of the HSed children. Sad but true. |
OP here: I have seen that discussion, but I have been too shy to comment. When you are the only ones in a community homeschooling it gets pretty bad. We have had people tell us that they think we should leave.
Actually, a message about the shiva went out on the list we are no longer on, so people knew. (At that point we were still on it!)
In our case, people really shouldn't be so upset with us, but rather the school. It's all the school's fault why we left anyway, but that's a whole other story!
Fortunately, we haven't had the problems of our kids getting made fun of. So many of my kids' friends wish they were being homeschooled too!
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| amother |
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Amother
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| Posted: Thu, Jan 12 2012, 12:01 am Post subject: Re: re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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| amother wrote: | | Can you find a retired teacher/tutor to oversee the homeschoolers? Then you won't have to be telling them what to do all day long and you'll be able to focus on the younger ones. |
OP here: We've thought of that, but we really needed someone to do playgroup pickups for two of the kids. So, we needed a nanny/babysitter and really can't afford both. So the nanny helps with the 5 and under crowd (the younger ones the whole time she is here, and the playgroup kids when she picks them up.) She has just started reading to my 7 year old this week, so maybe I can get her to do more with him. It occured naturally, he just asked her to read him a story, so she read to all the kids. She didn't seem to mind, so maybe it will become a regular thing. I'm not going to ask though, since she is really here for the little kid, but I hope it continues.
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| Posted: Thu, Jan 12 2012, 12:15 am Post subject: re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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| In what ways was the school awful? If it was subpar, can you supplement at home? Which is worse, what you're doing now or the school? Can you send them for judaic subjects and do the rest at home or vice versa?
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| Posted: Thu, Jan 12 2012, 12:17 am Post subject: re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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| So I'm sitting here trying to think what possible reason people can have for shunning you because of homeschooling. Well, I can't really think of any. I can imagine a friend or rav kindly inquiring about your children's Jewish studies though. I am very educated, having gone to religious schools and the top seminary probably in the world, but I'd still feel incompetent to teach my children. While there's alot that I do know, there's more that I don't. Especially if you have boys, how are they getting the proper gemara or mishna learning. Especially since your dh is uninvolved. How can that be done properly by just one woman?
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| Posted: Thu, Jan 12 2012, 12:29 am Post subject: Re: re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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| amother wrote: | | In what ways was the school awful? If it was subpar, can you supplement at home? Which is worse, what you're doing now or the school? Can you send them for judaic subjects and do the rest at home or vice versa? |
OP here: The long, long story, I'd rather not go into. As for the education, it was pretty bad. With the secular program we are using, they are getting a much better education, no questions asked. Very, very early on in our struggles with the school, (before the long, long story occured), we inquired about the option of just sending for Judaic subjects (one dd had an awful teacher, and we wanted her out). We were told no by the principal. We were told no by the director of the school. We were told no by the head of the board. So, we did try!
As far as what is worse? No question: The school! See, at least I know that the homeschooling can get better, and by asking around, and getting advice, it will improve. The school will not.
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| Posted: Thu, Jan 12 2012, 12:40 am Post subject: Re: re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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| Merrymom wrote: | | So I'm sitting here trying to think what possible reason people can have for shunning you because of homeschooling. Well, I can't really think of any. I can imagine a friend or rav kindly inquiring about your children's Jewish studies though. I am very educated, having gone to religious schools and the top seminary probably in the world, but I'd still feel incompetent to teach my children. While there's alot that I do know, there's more that I don't. Especially if you have boys, how are they getting the proper gemara or mishna learning. Especially since your dh is uninvolved. How can that be done properly by just one woman? |
OP here: As for shunning in our case: People are angry we pulled the kids out. They no longer get the tuition money we were paying (and for a whole bunch of kids!). That's just the start.
I have mostly girls. My son who is in school is too young for gemara, and when we get to that point we'll figure something out. My husband learns mishnayos and chumash with my son. We have a Hebrew and History tutor for all the kids. DH has smicha from a top yeshiva, so I am not worried about his learning with my son. This he makes time for daily.
As for our ability to teach and our level of knowledge for secular subjects? That's a non-issue. Both of us are trained teachers and have degrees from top universities in the US.
The level of education my children receive at home is not an issue...it is far better than anything they will ever receive.
We just have to work on the other issues and find solutions.
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| Posted: Thu, Jan 12 2012, 12:46 am Post subject: re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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Hi OP. I think all homeschooling parents hit points along the way when they need to re-assess their strategy. Sometimes a BIG change is needed, for everyone's sake.
In your case, it sounds like using a boxed curriculum (or is it K12?) is causing stress that is outweighing the benefits. A lot of people start out with that kind of thing because it's like a safety net when you pull kids out of school - you feel like you still "have" school, you're just doing it at home. But there are drawbacks, as you've found out. It might be time to adjust your philosophy a bit.
Your family needs time to find the joy of being together again. The learning day doesn't have to be full of stress and deadlines and book-work. When your kids feel like the days are more relaxed (and productive, too, but in a non-stressful way), they are more likely to be cooperative, I would guess.
Have you considered outsourcing limudei kodesh to Room613? With a family your size, it would be amazingly inexpensive.
Can you use free or cheap online resources for math, English, science...? If your kids have access to computers, they can learn so much with all kinds of interactive sites, games, videos, etc. You'd have to set them up with a plan (can be loose) so they feel like there's a "list of things to do" - and then fine-tune with more structure as needed.
Can you make one day a week a field trip day (ideally with the little ones along, at least for some of the trips)? That's fun and educational, and great bonding time. Maybe alternate trips for the older and younger kids, with the nanny watching the others. That way you could tailor the trips to meet the needs of different age groups.
Can you pair older kids up to teach younger ones certain subjects, at least some of the time?
Any way to have the nanny alternate days with the older and younger kids, so you can be mommy for a morning - take the little ones to the park, or take the big kids somewhere fun and/or educational. One of the benefits of homeschooling is that you CAN play hooky and go have fun. Don't deprive yourself of that.
Are there any classes you can sign your older kids up for - art, nature, music, dance, karate - that meet in the morning (maybe 9:00?), so they'll have a reason to get up, get dressed, and get out of the house? Or, do you have a library near you where the kids could go as a routine in the morning, for an hour or so? (If you want, you can give them a topic to research each time, which they can tell you about or write about later.) Even if you did this once a week, you'd have a morning to yourself while the nanny watches the little ones.
Just some ideas. There are so many options - but I think you'll have a hard time making a real change for yourself unless you move away from the deadline-based program you are using.
Does any of this resonate with you?
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| Posted: Thu, Jan 12 2012, 12:01 pm Post subject: Re: re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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| yy wrote: | Hi OP. I think all homeschooling parents hit points along the way when they need to re-assess their strategy. Sometimes a BIG change is needed, for everyone's sake.
In your case, it sounds like using a boxed curriculum (or is it K12?) is causing stress that is outweighing the benefits. A lot of people start out with that kind of thing because it's like a safety net when you pull kids out of school - you feel like you still "have" school, you're just doing it at home. But there are drawbacks, as you've found out. It might be time to adjust your philosophy a bit.
Your family needs time to find the joy of being together again. The learning day doesn't have to be full of stress and deadlines and book-work. When your kids feel like the days are more relaxed (and productive, too, but in a non-stressful way), they are more likely to be cooperative, I would guess.
Have you considered outsourcing limudei kodesh to Room613? With a family your size, it would be amazingly inexpensive.
Can you use free or cheap online resources for math, English, science...? If your kids have access to computers, they can learn so much with all kinds of interactive sites, games, videos, etc. You'd have to set them up with a plan (can be loose) so they feel like there's a "list of things to do" - and then fine-tune with more structure as needed.
Can you make one day a week a field trip day (ideally with the little ones along, at least for some of the trips)? That's fun and educational, and great bonding time. Maybe alternate trips for the older and younger kids, with the nanny watching the others. That way you could tailor the trips to meet the needs of different age groups.
Can you pair older kids up to teach younger ones certain subjects, at least some of the time?
Any way to have the nanny alternate days with the older and younger kids, so you can be mommy for a morning - take the little ones to the park, or take the big kids somewhere fun and/or educational. One of the benefits of homeschooling is that you CAN play hooky and go have fun. Don't deprive yourself of that.
Are there any classes you can sign your older kids up for - art, nature, music, dance, karate - that meet in the morning (maybe 9:00?), so they'll have a reason to get up, get dressed, and get out of the house? Or, do you have a library near you where the kids could go as a routine in the morning, for an hour or so? (If you want, you can give them a topic to research each time, which they can tell you about or write about later.) Even if you did this once a week, you'd have a morning to yourself while the nanny watches the little ones.
Just some ideas. There are so many options - but I think you'll have a hard time making a real change for yourself unless you move away from the deadline-based program you are using.
Does any of this resonate with you? |
OP here: It's good to know that other people hit difficult points in their homeschooling. Thanks for sharing that.
I took a long shower (finally) last night! Told my husband I was done for the day, and once my 1 year old was all cozy and asleep in her crib, I decided I was off-duty. The other little ones were asleep, too, so he could handle the bigger ones. I don't know what happened, but by the time I emerged everyone was asleep. I found out this morning that one girl, at midnight, tried to get my husband to let her do homework. Fortunately, he said no, go to sleep. She woke up at 6 and started woking instead. I'n happy that now she sees both her parents don't want her to stay up late.
While showering, I decided to focus on the positive aspects of homeschooling. Since I really wanted to relax, I forced myself no to think of any of the negatives. It really worked! I just need to really reframe the situation. There really are so many positives. Even as miserable as I feel, I can't deny that!
I am the only one that is stressed. My kids are totally relaxed. My husband is, too. Even with the deadlines, they are calm. I am the one who is a nervous wreck about everything getting done. It's happens to be the end of the semester, so everything from September that was due must be handed in. There aren't any formal deadlines all semester long, things are handed in as the lessons are reached, however, it all must be done by the end of the semester. Fortunately, we get a clean slate in a few week when the new semester begins, which will be the perfect time to make some changes. No lingering assignments. A fresh start.
I have thought of moving away from the program we use. However, the kids really like it. It's not like they are miserable. Like I mentioned, the deadlines are really only crazy the last few weeks of the semester. There are a lot of homeschooling regulations in my state, which I'd have to take care of on my own if we weren't using the program. The program takes care of everything, makes sure state standards are met. They make the arrangements for the yearly state testing. The kids would still have assignment deadlines 4 times a year. Plus, I'd have to send in portfolios regularly with their work and my lessons. For the older kids, I am not sure it's worth the switch. At least not in the middle of the year. We can obviously re-evaluate for next year. Also, in a 1 1/2 years when I have another 5 year old, perhaps I can start her with my own program. I think a switch at this moment would cause more of a headache than I currently have!
I did look into Room 613, but the times didn't work out well with online classes they currently have.
We just started having the older kids read to the little ones whatever story they need to cover for the next day before bedtime. Then, the little ones do the activity attached to the story with me the next day. That has worked out well. It's really nice bonding time for them. The older ones also do science and art projects with the younger ones.
You are right...I need to figure out some field trips during the week. There have been times where I have just said, "we are taking the afternoon off!" I think I need to do that more often though. It's totally fine with the program we use to do this, so I really should do it more often. Even just taking the older kids out in the morning.
My son is in a gymnastics class once a week (all boys, male teacher). Some of my girls have an activity they would really like to do. It's in the afternoon so, it may be the perfect way to get them to finish working earlier! (They can't go unless they finish their work). I like the idea of a morning activity, too. I'll have to look into that!
Thanks for the suggestions!
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| cmg770 |
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| Posted: Thu, Jan 12 2012, 12:28 pm Post subject: re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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| I dont know what your teaching the children at home, but have you thought of one or two days a week having a tutor who comes online and teaches the children. they follow exactly what your doing but will be a change for the children, its home schooling but the younger kids will get some time as you would like. Also I know many people sign up to online school. I am not sure if your chabad, chassidish, etc but chabad set up an online school, its incredible. I know many children and parents connected to this and it is an incredible school.
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| Raisin |
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| Posted: Thu, Jan 12 2012, 12:41 pm Post subject: re: Ready to quit!!!! |
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I am shocked at the community shunning you thing. I really think you have to ignore them and make a point of finding out about events and be there. Not attending stuff reinforces the view that you are shunning the community.
Who is incharge of the phone message thing? call them and ask point blank why you were taken off. Ask to be put back on.
I am guessing that the school is a small school and pulling your kids out really damaged the school numberwise, and people are upset about that. I'll bet other parents are also not happy with the school so are resentful that you did this.
My kids have skype tutors for some subjects btw.
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