Baby needs to be held the all night!!

Active Poster Joined: Jul 06 2010 Posts: 97

My baby is 6 weeks old and wants to be held all the time. At night, when I put her to sleep, I spend 20 minutues rocking her and then put her down. She can be very drowsy in my hands and look asleep but the second I put her down she is fully awake and the process has to start all over again! The only way I can put her down is if she is in a deep sleep which takes me rocking her for about a half hour and then she only sleeps in the bassinet for a half hour max and then stirs and is up all over again. My friends tell me I am spoiling her and should let her cry it out, and my mother says I should only let her cry for max a minute since she is so little. I really don't want her to get into the habit of sleeping in my bed, because I find it dangerous, but I am so exhausted I don't know what to do. Any tips, advice, for helping her sleep on her own?
this is my first btw.TIA!!

Senior Member Joined: Oct 27 2010 Posts: 222

first of all mazel tov! my baby is 3.5 months I just finished with that stage! sorry I dont have any tips just hang in there its gonna pass real soon!!!!!!!!
-my baby just started a routine try to sleep when the baby sleeps I know its hard cuz ur itching to get things done
maybe put her to sllep in a diff position-(on the side)
njoy your precious bundle! Rolling Laughter

Active Poster Joined: Mar 16 2011 Posts: 40

Some kids have their "witching hours" at night, when all the gas from the day accumulates and makes them cranky and restless. Have you tried gripe water? A warm bath before bed to relax the baby? Letting the baby cry for a few minutes might make him/her more tired but since the baby is pretty young I would say 5-7 minutes of crying max.

Diamond Member Joined: May 10 2010 Posts: 3097

It sounds like you are doing your best to be a good mother to your newborn. I would advise you to listen to your mother and not let such a little baby cry. Do you swaddle her? Many babies sleep better when they are tightly wrapped iin a blanket or swaddle bag (?-is that what it's called?) If that doesn't work, you can try a swing or carriage, some babies sleep better like that, but do ask your pediatrician if it's ok for your baby to sleep that way.

At 6 weeks, your baby may be able to be moderately sleep trained, to sleep w/o being held. You can do this by nursing/bottling your baby, swaddle her, give her a pacifier if she takes one. THen put her down in her crib and pat her and shhshh her until she's calm and relaxed. Then leave her. When she starts to cry again, wait 30-60 seconds (NOT MORE) go back, put the pacifier in her mouth, and calm her down again. Keep doing this until she falls asleep. If your baby is the type that gets totally hysterical as soon as you put her down, then I'm not sure this would work for you. I did this with my very sensitive, intense dd and it worked great....(but she is a terrible sleeper now, at a year.)

I just want to add that the beginning is really hard with a newborn, especially when they are so demanding like yours sounds like. You are being a great mommy for being so devoted to her and making sure she is happy even though it's difficult for you. Keep it up! Good luck!

Silver Member Joined: Nov 18 2007 Posts: 945

I can only tell you from experience, but getting my baby to sleep in my bed was a life-saver for me. I also had problems when my daughter fell asleep during the day for her naps - the moment I tried putting her down, anywhere, she woke up. Plus to make it worse, she used to only catnap for 10 or 15 minutes at a time! After all that cuddling, rocking, holding, etc. It would really drain my day. But if I was able to put her to sleep in bed, it was great! No need to have to repeat wash repeat. You may want to consider the benefits vs. the risks of co-sleeping in your particular situation.

Another option is to buy one of those co-sleepers that makes it easier and more nerve calming to implement.

HTH

Executive Member Joined: Jun 02 2011 Age: 24 Posts: 418

I had the same thing with my baby ( hes almost 4 months) at 5 weeks I got annoyed and decided something had to be done so here's what I did,
1) get rid of the bassinet its not comfortable for a baby I found it way to hard
2) get crib and GOOD mattress
3) get colorful bumper pads ( this was your baby has something to look at if shes not sleeping
4) put baby in her side and when you put her down rub her back for 20 sec
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Active Poster Joined: Jul 06 2010 Posts: 97

Wow thanks for all the replies! I do swaddle her, but it doesnt seem to help. She really needs to fall into a deep sleep before I put her down, but by the time I'm done nursing, burping and changing and get her into a deep sleep to put her down it's almost time to nurse again! She doesn't get hysterical right away, so I'm going to try giving her the pacifier and soothing her without picking her up. I give her a bath almost every night and that doesn't seem to help much either. Is she going to become "spoiled" if I'm always holding and rocking her?

Diamond Member Joined: Oct 19 2011 Posts: 2773

Active Poster Joined: Sep 16 2011 Posts: 49

I agree that a baby that small can not be spoiled. They need their mommies. My baby was also so hard to put to sleep an d even harder to put down! at five monthes I stil have a hard time putting him down when he naps. Like you at first I was afraid to co-sleep but desperate to get some sleep I tried it and it has been working out beautifully for us! happy well rested mommy, happy well rested baby! I just figured out how to do it safely and realized how aware I was of my baby all night.
Of course you need to be comfortable with what you do but this is what workedfor us.
good luck!

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 18 2010 Posts: 3102

Some babies do cry a little to settle down, you might want to see if yours is one of them. If it's kind of fussy crying, you can let her cry for 5 minutes to see if she settles- pick her back up if not. If it's screaming crying, then pick her back right away. As for co-sleeping, read up on how to do it safely. Even if you don't plan on making it a thing (I didn't), there WILL be times when you're going to just pass out while nursing/cuddling the baby, so it's good to know how to do it safely.

Active Poster Joined: Jul 06 2010 Posts: 97

CYSmom- how do you cosleep safely?

Active Poster Joined: Jul 06 2010 Posts: 97

imamiri- I don't have a problem cuddling my baby, I LOVE holding her, Im just so new at this I want to make sure I am doing the right thing and creating positive sleep environment and habits for HER.

Active Poster Joined: Feb 14 2011 Posts: 44

My pediatrician said that babies don't get spoiled before they're 3 months old.

Diamond Member Joined: Oct 19 2011 Posts: 2773

Posted: Tue, Jan 03 2012, 5:46 pm Post subject:

OP, where is your bassinet? Can you keep it right next to your bed, so that you can slip her into it and sleep when you can?

And how much is she sleeping during the day? At 6 weeks, you should be able to get one good stretch of 3 hours or so (maybe more than one), and if you can make them at night, then you can get some sleep yourself. If she is doing those stretches in the morning or afternoon, you can try waking her after about an hour and a half or so. Especially in the afternoon.

Don't worry too much about her sleep habits before 3 months or so. But you might want to manipulate her environment just so you are in shape to be a good mommy.

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 24 2008 Posts: 6528

My baby is also 6 weeks and she has the most difficult time settling down at night. She loves to nurse and suck on and off for like 3 hours.
I've started laying her down next to me in bed. Swaddling her very tightly so her arms don't flair when she gets excited and she has been falling asleep quicker that way. I'm not into cosleeping so I really want to get her to start doing this in her bassinet (which is next to my bed) but she won't. At least now we are both getting sleep at night.

And 100% don't let a baby that age cry it out. She has zero understanding about what is happening.

One thing that I also find helps when she just won't sleep is giving her a short bath. Feeding her. And then putting her straight down. Sometimes she is more calm so she falls right asleep (but only for a short while)

Silver Member Joined: May 15 2007 Posts: 941

My baby too, fell asleep while nursing and then I'd quietly put him in his crib and WAAAAAAAAAAH!!! - and so on and so forth the entire night. A few weeks later when my very old fashioned MIL traveled to us to help with the baby she said "of course your baby isn't sleeping; he's on his back!" So... like the good DIL I am I explained that even though it was done the opposite in her days, docs recommend sleeping on back ONLY. She insisted babies cannot fall asleep on their backs, and out of sheer exhaustion I let her do whatever she wanted. Anyway, he slept 6 hours straight that night (at 6 weeks old) and from then on. Supposedly this is dangerous. I'm not per se recommending it. Just saying I've seen first hand that babies really do not like sleeping on their backs. After speaking w/ my stickler-for-following-the-rules pediatrician about this, she said, "I'm not going to tell you what to do; you know the risk of SIDS is slightly higher in belly-sleeping babies; but I do understand the need for baby to sleep." I felt it was a balanced answer.

Gold Member Joined: Jul 14 2009 Posts: 2094

my craddle baby swing was a lifesaver w/ my son!

I had one like this, but got it 2nd hand so it was pretty inexpensive.

http://www.target.com/p/Fisher-Price-My-Little-Sweetie-Deluxe-Cradle-Swing/-/A-13868687

Active Poster Joined: Mar 01 2011 Posts: 25

Try putting her to sleep in a bouncer - might be more comfortable than being flat on her back. This was the advice I got when mine was up all night. Sometimes a babies "up" hours are at night so if you can sleep when she does whenever that is. Another thing, although its very very frustrating this stage passes. My 6 month old doesnt sleep through the night, but she does sleep -wakes up to eat.