I become very spacey on Shabbos

Posted: Wed, Dec 14 2011, 12:11 pm Post subject: I become very spacey on Shabbos

I'm a little spacey by nature, but when Shabbos comes, I become very spacey. I've been thinking about this for a while.

It's not just that I miss electronic connections, because I'm in my mid-30's, and did not have a computer/texting for the first 5-7 years of my marriage, and I had this same issue then. I first noticed this spacey feeling on Shabbos when I was in seminary.

I feel ultra-tired on Shabbos. I don't even have energy to read things that don't appeal to me - and I'm a big reader. I fall asleep while reading on the couch on Shabbos. I have never fallen asleep on the couch while reading in the weekdays, unless I was seriously ill.

When Shabbos is over, I feel a spark, like I'm more alive and with it. Right after I light candles, I feel like a fog has descended on my brain.

I get way too little sleep, so I wonder if it's just tiredness kicking in because I don't have that much to do on Shabbos. I sleep late on Shabbos morning, which I love, but it's probably not good for my body to be so sleep deptrived.

Anyone else feel this way?

YES. My husband says the weird feeling is the shabbes syndrom Wink

and caused by the other neshama.
_________________

"You will have many many children and make successful shidduchim beh", rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
"It's all cultural, disagree respectfully", me

Diamond Member Joined: Feb 21 2011 Posts: 2693

yep I also feel really tired on shabbos. on friday night I fall asleep so early after dinner, and on saturdays I am just very sleepy generally! I really relax a lot and sometimes can barely get out of bed!! oh well it's shabbat it's ok to!

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 12 2009 Posts: 13203

Whenever Shabbos starts, I'm ready to go to sleep about an hour after bentsching. As far as Shabbos day, trying to eat healthily and taking a modest walk (I.e. up to 40 minutes) help a lot.
_________________
The righteous praise and honor people for every good quality that is found in them while the wicked seek out faults in others to pull them down, even if they repented those deeds. (Rabbeinu Yonah, from Partners in Kindness)

Senior Member Joined: Jan 25 2011 Posts: 237

When super-busy people slow down, that's when we start feeling our fatigue. During the week we are running on adrenaline and don't have time to slow down and feel how tired we are!

Platinum Member Joined: May 07 2008 Posts: 8963

Totally normal and for the same reason that many people get sick over the weekend or stand firm in a crisis and fall apart when it's all over: az me muz, muz men (when you have to, you have to). When there's no choice, your mind forces you to function. When that function is no longer essential, your brain and body shift to "downtime" mode.

I think that once shabbos come in, no matter early winter or late summer, everyone is exhausted. I too fall asleep when reading on the couch and definitely sleep alot more than I would ever be able to during the week. But I LOVe it!!! And look forward to it every week! It's time to relax, and spend time with family and friends! Wish it'd last longer!
Once shabbos goes out, I actually feel sad and dread the week of work and worries ahead of me. That's opposite to what your feeling

Beginner Joined: Jun 07 2009 Posts: 22 Location: Sweden

בס�ד

As others have said, it's a common reaction. I'm relieved to see it's not just me - I thought I was getting old Very Happy

!! I too am in my 30s and Friday night I end up completely zonked...and then I go look at the clock...and it's *just* 8PM... And yes, like many I know, I too light up Motzei Shabbat and feel energetic.

I've been analyzing why this is...mind you, this is a European perspective; could be that these issues have existed much longer in the US. Anyhow, here's what I think:

* We are bombarded with information all week long. Much more than we used to be and we don't even think about how much information we have to take in during the day. It's unavoidable.

* Leaving an email unreplied to for more than half a day, is mostly considered rude. Remember when we were OK with waiting days or even WEEKS for a reply via traditional post? I know people who will even SMS or call to ask if their email was received!

* Whether or not you want to, your eyes take in all the free newspaper headlines and so-called articles swimming around in the city. Remember when they first started making free newspapers? A lot of people were shocked at how short the articles were, and worried that our attention span will decrease (compare this to what Sesame Street did to concentration levels; read about it in "To Kindle A Soul" by Rabbi Lawrence Kelemen!)

* Every single shop you set your foot into has a card or a merit system for its customers. You sign up since you want the savings. Then you are stuck with junk mail - both in your computer and in your actual, real life mailbox!

* Since things happen quickly; news travels much faster than it did even ten years ago. Most of the time it's not even news - it's gossip. And we are all hoping it's never about ourselves...

* Status stress takes the final punch out of anyone, if nothing of the above did. Thanks to media, we now have to be airbrushed to perfection inside-out, even more than we were in the 90s. Now we need to be a Top Model, a Masterchef and an Idol. Chas v'shalom! There is no real room in a big part of the world, for imperfection.

....so living in this world, with the realities above, what will Shabbat do to you? When for 24hrs+, you get to push "PAUSE" and keep it all out of your world? Of course you fall asleep, darling!

From Sunday to Friday at noon, you're a Supermom. When that humming silence settles in - you know what I mean; when the child(ren) is/are asleep and you can almost hear the candles burning... All the demands and all that white noise, is out.

Enjoy it. And perhaps find a way to avoid the information inferno we are all living in Smile

//Sarah.

Gold Member Joined: Jun 01 2009 Posts: 2307

Really good points, thanks! I'm OP.

I do fall asleep and I sleep a lot on Shabbos.

What bothers me is that I don't use Shabbos to tap into any spirituality - just to catch up on my sleep.

Gold Member Joined: Mar 04 2009 Posts: 2236

I totally get like this. The way it hits me is that all I want to do is put a book to my face and read and read and read. I don't want anyone to bother me. But the reality is that I have kids at home and meals to serve etc. When I was single I was able to just let the hours blur by. It's not a great feeling though.

I'm in general a very distracted type. I find focusing hard always. Just Shabbos it's super hard.

Today I had a really riveting book I was in the middle of. Luckily my kids got into playing together. However when they were done...the house was sort of bombed. They needed all kinds of dress up clothes for their activities and they took tons of clothing out! And guess what. They were not going to put it back unless somebody focused a little and got things back in order.

But Motzei Shabbos my head is still mush. So tomorrow I will have to face their bedroom with them and get things back in shape. I find everything by me is a day behind because of my brain fog. But I have learned to make peace with it.

What does help is eating salad, not too much challah, going out and having guests! Then I'm forced to focus and I surprise myself with how much I get done.

You have programmed your brain to 'rest' on shabbos. So as soon as you light candles, your body goes into 'rest' mode. It's a mind over matter thing, only it's subconscious instead of intentional.

I actually have perfected a mind 'trigger' that puts me to sleep within 5 minutes. I used to spend hours tossing and turning in bed. Now all I do is focus my mind on a specific mental picture and before I know it, I'm asleep.

Maybe that's where the whole 'counting sheep' thing got started. If you trained your brain to accept an image of sheep as a trigger for sleep, I guess if you started counting sheep you wouldn't get very far before falling asleep...however simply counting the sheep doesn't just work. You would need to help your brain associate sheep (or anything else more fun to think about lol) with sleep. Perhaps by thinking of that mental picture when you're actually exhausted and about to drift off to sleep. Do this for awhile and then even when you're not exhausted your brain associates the image with being tired and puts you to sleep.