Vent about grandparent gifts for grandkids

Ok, I know this is a totally "First world problem" and I'm sure I'm being horribly spoiled and I should just shut up about it, but ARGH!!!

What do our parents think when they buy our kids gifts?!?!

My in laws keep buying my 2 year old PERMANENT MARKERS and sets of make up and nail polish.
And my parents just announced that they attended a plush toy sale and have purchased 15 (!!) new stuffed animals for my kids. AHHHHHHHH....My parents, who DESPISE clutter, keep buying us these stupid stuffed animals and useless toys.

Posted: Wed, Nov 30 2011, 5:46 pm Post subject:

I've learned to be very clear to my in laws and parents about what they give my kids. For example, I've returned a playmobile toy to my in laws because it has tiny pieces and is not meant for kids under age 10. Just explain how inappropriate the gifts are and let them know that you won't be using the gifts. Suggest the gifts you would rather receive.
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Moderator Joined: Jun 05 2011 Posts: 3392

ah, permanent markers. the appropriate response?

"wow, shimmy, bubby got you ssuch nice permanent markers! it's so nice of her to get you a present to use only at her house!"

make sure to dress him in ratty clothes next time you go for a visit. bring the markers with you...

Moderator Joined: Aug 14 2005 Posts: 4703 Location: Ohio

Say thank you.

Put the permanent markers away until it is more appropriate for the age.

On the stuffed animals. Keep one or two, and donate the others to a toy drive for kids who don't have parents and grandparents who can or will buy them presents.
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Moderator Joined: Aug 14 2005 Posts: 4703 Location: Ohio

Oh, and to your question of what they think, they think they love their grandkids and want to get them a present. What horrible people. You should definitely tell them their gifts are inappropriate as another poster suggested. That's very good role modeling for your children, but shows such hakaras hatov AND kivud av v'eim.

Diamond Member Joined: Aug 03 2007 Posts: 4449

They probably don't realize it when they buy the markers. Their time of young kids was long ago and things where different then. Probably don't pay attention. They probably also thought that the kids would love all those stuffed animals. They may be on a fixed income so they think if something's cheap/on sale, to buy lots and spoil the kids. They are also from a very different generation. If you have a very close and direct relationship, you may mention to them to look for markers that are washable for example. Be careful and use your common sense. Don't be rude. It really just depends on how they are, how old they are and how your relationship is. But you made me laugh!!!

Gold Member Joined: Apr 16 2005 Posts: 1943

I had a similar problem. Whenever my kids would go over to my ILs to play, they would give them permanent markers to use. I think they just took them from their own office supplies and let them go at it. They'd come home with their clothes ruined. At least it didn't ruin my house, but their clothes! At least they have loving grandparents!
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Active Poster Joined: Mar 07 2011 Posts: 30

15 stuffed animals does seem a bit excessive. Maybe they plan on you having 15 grandchildren and they got a great deal!

Platinum Member Joined: May 07 2008 Posts: 8984

I think in the olden days permanent markers didn't come in the rainbow colours they come in nowadays. Like the others have said they probably don't realize it's not washable.

Posted: Wed, Nov 30 2011, 11:10 pm Post subject:

It's a tricky one.They obviously buy them out of love. If it keeps on happening tell them you are sooooooooo greatful that they buy your kids gifts but would appreciate if they ask first if it's good since you don't have room in your house. If they are the type to get offended just grin and bear it and then get rid of some of it.
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Diamond Member Joined: Dec 28 2005 Posts: 4693

My in-laws are usually spot on and give the kids great gifts and I really appreciate their generosity (especially when she stocks them up on underwear and PJ's and other necessities) BUT - yes. Along with it comes CRAYOLA COLORED BUBBLES. Yes, it says washable on the package. No, it does not come off easily and our porch outside is still stained orange and green when you look closely. What I learned from the experience is that just becomes Bubby gives something does not mean we have to open/use it.

Executive Member Joined: Dec 03 2009 Posts: 328

My parents and both my in laws all passed away before my son was born. I wish he could have at least met them.

Gold Member Joined: Oct 26 2008 Posts: 1295

My MIL buys my toddler dreidels. She brought when she came to visit them last year when he was almost 1, and again this year when he was almost 2. I'm talking about the little, plastic, choking-hazard ones. After I fished one out of his mouth (don't even know where he found it!), I threw them all out. This year when she brought them, I just said thank you and said we'd save them for Chanukah, hid them, waited for her to go back home, and threw them out. It's not worth it getting into a discussion. She means well and isn't thinking clearly.

Same with your child's grandparents...it is meant out of love.

Silver Member Joined: Nov 17 2011 Posts: 912

Diamond Member Joined: Mar 11 2010 Posts: 3165

My mil loves buying gifts for the kids, but she doesn't have a lot of money. This summer she bought them (non-washable) Crayola markers that were on sale at Walmart. They were SOOO excited to get each their own box, and I didn't have the heart to tell her anything. They used them tons, and B"H everything washed out but I held my breath every time they used them. She's usually very practical (coloring books and crayons, dishes sets for the little ones, mind games for the bigger ones) but never anything expensive.

I don't think you should say anything. Do as other posters said: Smile, say thank you, and promptly put it high up when she leaves.

FYI permanent markers can be used with a full-length, long sleeved smock.

I make a wishlist on amazon.com and direct people there when they ask what they can buy. That way I can assert SOME control over what happens.
I'm not sure how old your kids are, but when a lot of presents come in at once, maybe have them "ma'aser" the gifts and pick 1/10 of them that they will donate to other needy kids.