Saying ribono shel olam....mochel whilst holding a grudge

I am in the process of working on forgiving somone who hurt me badly, Would you say the ribono shel olam before krias shma in the meantime or is it hypocritic?

Diamond Member Joined: Sep 16 2007 Posts: 4185

you should continue to say it and have in mind that you are davening for H' to help you not hold a grudge and be able to mochel for real.
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The results of our actions are not up to us or even necessarily a direct consequence of them. The only thing that's really in our power is our perspective, that everything that happens is for the (our) good.

There was a time I couldn't bring myself to say it. I said instead "Hareini menasa limchol..." until I felt I could say it again. I'm not saying it's right to invent your own Nusach like that but that's what I did.