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Bed time hell!!!

 
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rainbow baby
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PostPosted: Wed, Sep 27 2006, 3:04 pm    Post subject: Bed time hell!!!
 
Here's the story:

My two and a half year old started around two weeks ago saying to my dh, "I don't like you." "I don't want you, go away." tonight it reached new heights he started screaming at my dh, started smacking him and would not let him anywhere near him. What are we ment to do? My dh is fantastic with the kids and he really loves them all, he is so caring I'am just lost to what to do. Has anyone else been through this? What did you do?
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amother
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PostPosted: Wed, Sep 27 2006, 5:38 pm    Post subject: re: Bed time hell!!!
 
why is he going that? whats bothering him??
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Tefila
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PostPosted: Wed, Sep 27 2006, 5:48 pm    Post subject: re: Bed time hell!!!
 
Don't disregard your two year old tempers watch out and see what you can learn on how to solve it. Is your two yr doing this to anyone else ?

Especially if it's his tatty Confused

Idea Unless it's b/c bedtime isn't fun and it's your husband putting him to bed rather then you so he thinks he's the mean one Confused


Last edited by Tefila on Wed, Sep 27 2006, 5:51 pm; edited 1 time in total
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rainbow baby
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PostPosted: Wed, Sep 27 2006, 5:49 pm    Post subject: re: Bed time hell!!!
 
If I know why he was doing this I would be able to put it right, but I do not. He is a very happy, lively little boy. But he knows what he wants and is very determined.
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happymom
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PostPosted: Wed, Sep 27 2006, 5:50 pm    Post subject: re: Bed time hell!!!
 
hmmmmm I wonder whats bothering him. does ure husband have a clue?
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mummy-bh
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PostPosted: Wed, Sep 27 2006, 5:54 pm    Post subject:
 
Have you been away without the children recently?
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rainbow baby
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PostPosted: Wed, Sep 27 2006, 5:59 pm    Post subject: Re: re: Bed time hell!!!
 
Tefila wrote:
Don't disregard your two year old tempers watch out and see what you can learn on how to solve it. Is your two yr doing this to anyone else ?


He's just started at a new playgroup when we go he runs in then when I say goodbye he runs after me screaming. After I go he is fine and when I pick him up he is really happy. He talks about his Morah all day and sings all his songs.
He tells my helper that he does not like her, but then plays with her. He also tells my mother and mil that he does not like them.

Tefila wrote:
Especially if it's his tatty Confused


What are you trying to say?

Tefila wrote:
Idea Unless it's b/c bedtime isn't fun and it's your husband putting him to bed rather then you so he thinks he's the mean one Confused


Bed times are great fun. He has a bath, gets dressed for bed, reads his books and we sing Shema together. DH tries to put him down but he just screams blue murder and screams for me.
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rainbow baby
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PostPosted: Wed, Sep 27 2006, 6:01 pm    Post subject:
 
mummy-bh wrote:
Have you been away without the children recently?


Wink yes my dear I have as you know. Very Happy
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mummy-bh
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PostPosted: Wed, Sep 27 2006, 6:09 pm    Post subject: re: Bed time hell!!!
 
So maybe your little one is worried that you will go off again and leave him?

If, as you say, in the past your dh and toddler have had a good relationship, then I suggest that you 'force' them to be together. Go out at bath-time and make sure your toddler knows you will be back in time to say shema and tuck him in. This way the two of them will spend time together without you around, but the 2y.o. is secure in the knowledge that you WILL be back. Sit in the car and wait for dh to call you to tell you when it's time.
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amother
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PostPosted: Wed, Sep 27 2006, 6:16 pm    Post subject: re: Bed time hell!!!
 
Quote:
Quote:
Go out at bath-time and make sure your toddler knows you will be back in time to say shema and tuck him in. This way the two of them will spend time together without you around, but the 2y.o. is secure in the knowledge that you WILL be back


Excellent idea imo Thumbs Up

tefila Wink
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rainbow baby
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PostPosted: Wed, Sep 27 2006, 6:17 pm    Post subject: re: Bed time hell!!!
 
Thinking about it I do think he is worried about me disappearing again. But he is used to going to playgroup etc... When I put him to bed in the afternoon he is fine he is really cute he shouts for about three minutes I love you mummy, sleep well mummy, bye mummy, etc... If I put him to bed at night he goes down fine and again shouts that he loves me, etc... It is only when dh puts him down.

Mummy BH Good idea, only problem I have the other two to put to bed as well at the same time.

Also it is not only at night that he is like this, if my dh tells him not to do something he goes on that he does not like him. But I can tell him not to do it he might not listen but at least he does not shout at me.
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mummy-bh
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PostPosted: Wed, Sep 27 2006, 6:22 pm    Post subject: Re: re: Bed time hell!!!
 
jewishmamathebest wrote:
if my dh tells him not to do something he goes on that he does not like him. But I can tell him not to do it he might not listen but at least he does not shout at me.


So maybe it's an authority thing?
My 3 y. o. only listens to male authority, not female!
Maybe he resents your dh telling him what to do?
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happymom
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PostPosted: Thu, Sep 28 2006, 12:33 am    Post subject: re: Bed time hell!!!
 
maybe he just wants u at bedtime. why cant u put him to bed or at least come read him a story or soemthing?
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rainbow baby
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PostPosted: Thu, Sep 28 2006, 2:40 am    Post subject: Re: re: Bed time hell!!!
 
happymom wrote:
maybe he just wants u at bedtime. why cant u put him to bed or at least come read him a story or soemthing?


On Rosh Hashana I did my back in, so my dh had to get the baby undressed and put him in his cot. But I was still there to kiss and cuddle him before he went to bed. We always try and put the children to bed together. Even if it means that dh comes in 10 minuites before bedtime he likes to read, chat and say Shema with the children.
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happymom
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PostPosted: Thu, Sep 28 2006, 11:51 am    Post subject: re: Bed time hell!!!
 
did u ask him why he is upset and whats bothering him? maybe he can tell u
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amother
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PostPosted: Thu, Sep 28 2006, 11:52 am    Post subject: re: Bed time hell!!!
 
he m,ay have been very upset by the fact that u left him to go away without him..... why dont u sit down with him and ask him how he felt about it, and if its true u can tell him u wont be going away without him again (any time soon...)
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rainbow baby
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PostPosted: Thu, Sep 28 2006, 1:50 pm    Post subject: Re: re: Bed time hell!!!
 
amother wrote:
he m,ay have been very upset by the fact that u left him to go away without him..... why dont u sit down with him and ask him how he felt about it, and if its true u can tell him u wont be going away without him again (any time soon...)


Sorry I had to laugh but it was a very cute idea but he is only 2 and a half, yes he can talk well but he really cannot express himself like a 6 year old. He really will not be able to tell me how he felt about it.
Tonight he was awful with my helper girl and ignored my SIL told my dh he did not like him but then went over to him and gave him a huge kiss and hug. I think he is just worried I am going to leave him and he wants to be incontrol of the situation. Now he is playing in the play room quitely and very contently. I'll keep you posted.
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momX3
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PostPosted: Wed, Oct 04 2006, 1:28 pm    Post subject: re: Bed time hell!!!
 
It seems to me like he is just looking for attention. I personally would stick to the routine that your husband has been doing. You may want to stay in the room throughout the whole bedtime routine - to reassure him that you are not leaving - but don't get involved in putting him to bed or in answering his screams - maybe just sit in the corner reading a book (if you have nothing better to do - but maybe just for a few days) - leave the bedtime routine to your husband and have your husband reassure the child that you are staying - but don't let the kid know that his tantrum is bothering you guys.

I had an issue where my 3 year old wanted me to stay in the room - I told him I would check up on him but not stay with him. He would alway scream for me to stay - and I would calmly reply that I will check up on him. After a few days of this - he got the point.
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