Can she marry a Cohen?

Posted: Wed, Oct 26 2011, 12:00 am Post subject: re: Can she marry a Cohen?

Old thread but...I have a friend who is planning on marrying a Kohen. Her father never did convert. They are aware of this issue as almost all the Rabbi's in the community do not want to marry them. Am I allowed to go and participate at this wedding or is it like attending a intermarriage wedding?

Posted: Wed, Oct 26 2011, 2:16 pm Post subject: re: Can she marry a Cohen?

For the record, the issue regarding the daughter of a Jewish woman and non-Jewish man is a topic of much rabbinical debate, and does NOT have a clear cut answer. I happen to have a non-Jewish father, and my husband is a Kohen. We did not discover this issue until we were already engaged...and had to go to the head rav of our community to attempt to have our marriage allowed. This well respected rav told us that our marriage was permitted according to R' Ovadia Yosef and, since my husband is Sephardi, we could rely on this opinion. Had he been Ashkenazi, it would most likely not been permitted. And, had we just started dating, it would have been discouraged.

Anyone facing this issue should really consult a very knowledgeable rav rather than trying to posken for themselves.

Posted: Wed, Oct 26 2011, 2:29 pm Post subject: re: Can she marry a Cohen?

I was the one who posed the question. I do not think they are interested in finding a posek, they feel betrayed by the community and family and are hardly observant despite his frum upbringing. They said they will just find a conservative Rabbi to marry them. I was asking more for myself as a friend, am I able to participate in this wedding?

Posted: Wed, Oct 26 2011, 3:22 pm Post subject: re: Can she marry a Cohen?

Well that's really a shame. As for you, I would ask a rav. It's not considered intermarriage, as they are both jews...and it's not even a Torah-prohibited marriage for a Kohen...so it's sort of a gray area. Good luck.

Posted: Thu, Oct 27 2011, 4:22 am Post subject: re: Can she marry a Cohen?

Isn't this Tsits Eliezer who allows (if they already happened?) marriage between Cohen and DD of non Jew?
I still think finding an Orthodox rav, even very "modern", who will do it will be very difficult because of the consequences on the children.
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Posted: Thu, Oct 27 2011, 6:23 am Post subject: re: Can she marry a Cohen?

You are right about the consequences. But it is likely to lead to very painful situations for the boys to be constantly mistaken for Cohanim and have to either lie or set the truth... and to not enjoy this beautiful heritage (my frei anti religious Cohen cousin married a suitable woman for this reason! lol).

Diamond Member Joined: Mar 29 2005 Posts: 3592

Posted: Thu, Oct 27 2011, 8:03 am Post subject: re: Can she marry a Cohen?

Adoption is not a machlokes or a mess up (depending on the posek). It is very different.

Different people are prevented from marrying some categories. No one is inferior. You can even tell your dd she is lucky that Hashem gave her some guideline to find her bashert!
I have been told a virgin gioret should insist to have giorta AND betulta on her ketuba, for fairness.

It seems among some edot (or families?) bnot Cohen also do not marry male converts. I discovered it as shadchanit.