Please help me with a "hard to have" guest

Listen, we have all both in real life and even perhaps on this thread, met people who are socially off. They say, or type, bizarre things. They know no boundaries. Yet they still deserve friendship and hospitality. Unless it's ruining your seudah continue to invite her on occasion. If it's really negatively affecting your family, then stop hosting her.

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Thanks for the advice everyone. I think we will try to have her again, but DH will just have to perpare more before hand. He is usually good about diverting the conversation with a dvar torah and singing, and if he runs out of things to divert the topic, he picks up a sefer and we learn a halacha like hilchos shabbos.
But I guess he could find even more things to talk about.
My kids arent really school age yet, so we don't have parsha sheets or anything like that yet.

DH doesn't like to sing alone when we have female guests, and I don't really like to invite this girl with too many people.
we had a disaster once when our out of town friends where here for a chag. They are a young couple with a baby. we also had this girl, my in-laws and brother in law. It was a nice big meal and things were going well. I knew that the girl probably knew the husband of the family, but I didn't know that she also knew the wife (who is from oot). Anyway she kept telling the husband how her dad always thought she would marry him. The wife was mortified, but I guess she knew the girl enough not to think too much about it.
still totally awkward situation.
she makes comments like this about my bil who is 19 and this girl is much older. she says how he is the only other single guy that she knows here... so weird.

anyway, I feel bad that she has doesn't have places to go, so I can try to have her, on occasion again,

I would not say all chessed families are happier and all family-only families are "mean" or unhappy. I have seen all kinds, from one extreme to another.

Now, yes, there are families where people are not used to inviting strangers. It is not "mean". It is also not "mean" if you don't volunteer at the old age home or fundraise for your school (someone asked to invite or obviously seeing a neighbour struggle is something else).
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"You will have many many children and make successful shidduchim beh", rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
"It's all cultural, disagree respectfully", me

Amother, I don't think you should feel bad for saying no. Imagine if you said yes and then snapped in the middle of the meal!

Children don't have to get everything they ask (even when it is good and positive) but let them know how right they are and that IYH you hope to be able to do it one day, and will let them know!

Also as much as we would want, every parent cannot model every midda and mitzva. They will learn about orchim at school Smile

I don't remember one time where I stayed for a meal at anyone, Chabad or not, unless I was invited or was asked to stay or I booked in advance. Sorry, people don't have to deal with my organization problems if I forget to make plans.

I also find a big difference between someone setting up a Chabad house and possibly advertising for the possibility of hosting, and a random family.

Well you chose the wrong person for the example as we are very organized travellers (at least for important things like food) and do go easily without any invites.

Of course Chabad shluchim are people, but they are also shluchim and can expect more people asking to eat than the average Joe Shmoe. Just like I sometimes have to say no, but as a shadchanit I WILL get calls or emails for a shidduch even at inconvenient times and when possible I will have to make the effort. Which is why few people want to be shluchim, or shadchanim, or rabbis, or any activity that is very rewarding but it's not like you leave the office and it's over.