Chillul HaShem! Outraged!

Posted: Mon, Oct 17 2011, 1:59 am Post subject: Chillul HaShem! Outraged!

To the Woman Who Crashed Another Car on Oct 10, at Quentin and E 34th Street and then Lied About It (while on her way to pick up her son),
Look at this as an opportunity to see the repercussions of your actions and still make it right. Dh's coworker, and our really good family friend is an upstanding Indian gentleman. He just told us a story that really upset me. On 10/10, he was driving his car on Quentin and E 34th st, when he signaled and starting switching lanes. The Jewish woman behind him, without signaling, suddenly starting doing the same, quickly and aggressively, and hit him in the side of his car causing him $900 of damage. (The front bumper of her minivan only got scratched.)
He went to her, to see if she was alright. They decided to wait for the police to come to get a report. She made a few phone calls, then, in his words, "said some Torah" in her car. (Presumably said Tehillim.)
This is what upsets me. He said when the police came, she suddenly started changing her story. She said it all happened so fast she wasn't sure what happened. Then she said she was in that lane the entire time and he switched in suddenly and that's how the accident happened.
What can I say; this man has more forbearance than I do. He said (I'm paraphrasing here), "You know, I KNOW that people will do what they have to to protect themselves. I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. But what makes me so upset is that she went to her car to say Torah and then she lied. It makes me depressed, like who can I trust. Here she is saying Torah, and then she's lying. I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she got confused. It took a long time for the police to come. I'm trying to. But I don't really believe it, and it just makes me so upset that she lied after she said Torah. If I can't trust religious people, who can I trust."
(He said that more or less, and at some point he threw in a speculation that maybe she would not have lied if he were a Jewish man.)
If you are that woman, shame on you and fix your ways. To say tehillim but be out'honest'ed by a completely secular man devoid of any religion, who corrected the insurance company when they wrote $150 for his hubcaps, and he said they only cost him $40. You can still call up your insurance company and tell them what really happened.
(And in case any reader is questioning the veracity of HIS side, I see no reason why he should come over to DH and I and make up this whole story. We're not writing up his accident report. And his character testifies for itself. He is very close to our family, is ALWAYS volunteering for things, MANY events Jewish ones, and is extremely reliable. And in any case, if this story somehow reaches the woman I intend it to, SHE knows what happened. And I just want her to see the results. Next time he will have second thoughts before trusting the integrity of a Jewish woman, like he did before you ran into him. [No pun intended] You can still call up your insurance company and say the truth.)

Posted: Mon, Oct 17 2011, 2:17 pm Post subject: re: Chillul HaShem! Outraged!

Unfortunately this happens with frum Jews too. It's a chillul Hashem either way.
about 10 and half years ago, My dd and I were involved in an accident. It was our right of way, we had the green light. We started turning onto the ave from a street, and an 18 year old girl who had probably just gotten her licesnse---went through a red light and hit us. At the accident she agreed it was her fault. since she was frum (we later also found out her father is a rabbi), my dh didn't ask her to sign a note saying she was at fault. The next day, she completely changed her mind. (probably her parents influenced her). She told her insurance company it wasn't her fault and they completely reimbursed her for her damages without looking into her story and without looking at the police report--which of course stated she had collided with us. We even had a witness, B"H-there was a black guy who saw the whole thing and was able to give our lawyer his account.
We never would have guessed that she'd change her story once she got home. In the future, we should never be involved in such things--but always take precautions and get a written statement on the spot from everyone--yes even frum Jews, even if their family members are Rabbis.
She also told us at the accident, she would call and see how we were feeling (there were injuries and our car was totaled), but of course once the story changed; she didn't.

I forgot to add (I'm the second amother): we should never be placed in such nisyonos of having to deal with truth and lies; and I don't want to judge her--because it's a tough situation. However, it still made it hard, and for the future we know better.