Did you marry your father & your dh marry his mother...

Thank G-d I didn't marry my father and I feel bad for dh sometimes (for his sake) that he didn't marry someone more like his mother...but we were bashert, what to do? I'm just not the balabuss his mother is and I think he really needed that..I've been working on it, but there is nothing like just having the instinct on how to do something in the most efficient and mesudar way, and I lack that instinct. I need to invest some seichel into it.

On second thought, I think, at least in a marriage situation, I am less emotionally needy than average (I can be needy with friends) so in that way I resemble his mother. I can also be "no nonsense"when dealing with the kids (I need to be softer and more relaxed)..so there are similarities, but I think MIL would be offended if I said so Laughing

My father also needed (and didn't get) a woman who was less needy. He had a drinking problem, so I thank G-d I didn't end up in the trap of marrying someone like that. Although dh can be a "workaholic" and that can be an issue, it is NOTHING like growing up in the household with an addict, so baruch hashem..

Platinum Member Joined: May 06 2007 Posts: 8512

I married my father. But I'm not like my mil, maybe the fact that we're both teachers, but not at all in personality. But, B"H we get along great.
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Gold Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 1859

In many ways DH is quite similar to my father - both very intellectual, good-hearted (the original "softies"), calm, steady, pragmatic...

I could not be less like my MIL. Nice lady, but totally different.
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Last edited by gold21 on Mon, Sep 26 2011, 8:11 pm; edited 1 time in total

I am deleting this post and the one below it- apparently I double-posted back in 2008- because what I wrote makes no sense and it's getting on my nerves.

Last edited by gold21 on Mon, Sep 26 2011, 8:09 pm; edited 1 time in total

omg, totally mortifying post... WHY did I post all this stuff about myself in 2008?? well, good thing this thread showed up again so I could delete the post...

sometimes I write the weirdest things... Confused

Silver Member Joined: Aug 14 2007 Posts: 877

Neither I nor my DH resemble each others parents but like flowerpower above, I think I married my MIL. DH is just like her and I think I've got a DD just like him. Some genes just never disappear or you can't escape from (not necessarily a bad thing - just scary)

Executive Member Joined: Oct 23 2009 Posts: 331

I think im a lot like my mil dh like my father? I don't think so.
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Diamond Member Joined: Apr 29 2006 Posts: 4772

DH is very similar to my father but I didn't notice it till a good 6 months later. There are differences obviously and many of the similarities are expressed in different ways/areas. I never said or thought I would marry someone like my father.
OTOH I am not like my MIL at all. Maybe we're both sensitive people but that's about all. I love her dearly but we are like night and day.
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Gold Member Joined: Mar 14 2006 Posts: 1879

I married the exact opposite of my father. And I am the furthest thing possible from my MIL...
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That's the way the cookie crumbles...

DH did not marry his mother, but he gave birth to her! DD isn't even walking yet, but she reminds us so much of my MIL, it's scary!

Gold Member Joined: Aug 24 2010 Posts: 1466

When I was dating, my mother told me (as her mother told her - that's how mesora starts) "don't look for someone like Daddy. There's no one like him."

So no - dh is not at all like my father!

No and No! I am nothing like my MIL and my husband is nothing like my father.
We are like night and day from each of them.

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 23 2008 Posts: 9074

Another Techiyas Hameisim thread??? Did you see the original date?

But to keep it going....in some ways DH is like my father. I AM NOT LIKE MY LATE MIL!!! Laughing

My husband is nothing at all like my father, but I do see a certain resemblance between my mil and I.

Gold Member Joined: Jan 03 2011 Posts: 1503

I'm think I'm alot like my MIL, which is cute because DH is EXACTLY my FIL. They made it 30 yrs together so far, so I guess that's a good sign for us!
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No way No Way, DH is not like my dad or mom and Me(!) totally the opposite as my mother-in-law and father-in-law...

Hey, I never thought about this before!

Hey, guess what I found while rethinking this thread!

I am a lot like MY father, and dh is a lot like HIS father!

My father looks like his mom, and I look a lot like her. Same for personality and various tastes from music to food to clothes, whatever. Very into shtetl stuff, minhagim, superstitions Wink

My FIL (who was a ton like his own father) was very Yekke, practical, right on time, serious, light hair and blue eyes, very Italian taste in food, very old school.
My dh is BH more reasonable with food (not big), less serious, and he BH adapted to my being more sensitive, more spiritual, less on time, though we did struggle in the beginning with his not understanding "why you don't do X if you know you have to do X". I have accepted he doesn't like my segulos and weird beliefs, and we don't have the same Yiddish, too. We'll see after whom DD takes Wink

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Silver Member Joined: May 08 2011 Age: 23 Posts: 708

not even a little.
DH is just like my mother though...

Senior Member Joined: Aug 22 2011 Posts: 118

my dh is so not like my father and I am so not like my mil
so I didnt marry my father and he x marry his mother