I HATE playdates!

Senior Member Joined: Feb 28 2010 Posts: 217

Whenever I have a friend over for my dd(7), it always ends up with her being abit mean to her friend, only insisting she play what she wants, and then, not knowing what to play at all.

I feel like I have to be the entertainer and provide activities for them to do. These days it seems that kids only want to play on the Wii, DS or whatever and not with real toys!

And then I end up feeling like an inadequate mother coz my kids just cant get along with anyone!

Am I alone in thinking this?

Moderator Joined: Aug 14 2005 Posts: 4555 Location: Ohio

I talk to my kids before playdates. I remind them that there is no screen time. I also remind them that when we have a guest, the guest gets to decide what to do first. It almost always works out that after a little while, the friend lets dd pick the next activity.

I do not act as a cruise director for playdates. If they argue, I tell them to work it out (unless there is hitting, of course). If they ask for something to do, I give them several suggestions and let them pick. None of these suggestions involve much work on my part, unless they play dressup and need help buttoning dresses or putting crowns on. I will get out craft supplies, but I do not give them crafts that have to be supervised.

My DD is also very clear before playdates that if there is a lot of whining, fighting, etc., the next play date will not be in the near future. It took a little while of being firm, but it works now. (I also have no problem telling the friend--if the friend is acting badly--that they can either play nicely or I can take her home.)
_________________
mommy to 2 girls, 1 boy

"I would rather have my people laugh at my economies than weep for my extravagance."
--King Oscar of Sweden

Posted: Thu, Sep 01 2011, 6:01 pm Post subject: re: I HATE playdates!

you should not be running the show in a playdate for a seven year old! how long are your playdates? Is that the culprit? I agree with the no screen time rule for playdates, as well. If playdates are not working out for your child than you may consider the possibility of not having them at all.

Posted: Thu, Sep 01 2011, 6:11 pm Post subject: re: I HATE playdates!

Tips for you and me:
-short playdates 2 hours is good
-include a mealtime in the playdate, that takes time and they are busy, you can do a snack too
-interfere LESS with words, but do give some "cool down time" if things get wild
-an art project/playdough/cookie decorating/collage making something where they are essentially doing something side by side
-alternate supervised activities with no supervised ones, and stay near but not on top of them
- a wall chart with play ideas with pictures?

Posted: Thu, Sep 01 2011, 6:25 pm Post subject: re: I HATE playdates!

When I saw the title, I had thought that I wrote it! Anyway, I hate playdates too. I find that they are way too long. parents drop off their kids at 2-3 and say ok my dh will pick them up mincha time which is around six. I run out of ideas after 2hrs and I find I have to be in "teacher mode" the whole afternoon and don"t get to rest myself arrrrrgh.! If I dont have play dates I feel like the worst mother.

Senior Member Joined: Aug 27 2009 Posts: 136

I also could have written this post! I find playdates very stressful, especially for my younger kids, where I really need to oversee the playdate the whole time. One idea I had was to come up with a list with your child, before his/her friend comes over, of some games/activities to do. Then let your child and his friend alternate choosing an activity off the list. That way both of them get a turn deciding what they will do. Also, maybe buy a couple of games/art projects that are ONLY for playdates - that way you know you have something special for your child and his friend to do.

And if kids start arguing/fighting, distract them by taking a "snack break". Usually the argument will blow over by the time the snack is finished. And sometimes kids get cranky if they're hungry, so this helps on both counts.

Don't give up on the play dates...

Hatzlacha!

Posted: Thu, Sep 01 2011, 8:09 pm Post subject: re: I HATE playdates!

I hate babysitting er I mean play dates too. I'm fine keeping my own kids busy and hate having other peoples kids over. I only have young ones now so playdates mean total supervision. I kept saying no to mothers but they keep calling anyway. I HATE PLAYDATES TOO! I don't like wiping other kid's butts thank you very much.