Dear Self

Senior Member Joined: Apr 28 2010 Posts: 243

I decided to write this letter to myself after a few bad night with my 6 week old DS, my original post (Cant take it anymore! 6 week old DS) written from a bad place in the middle of the night was useless- so I figured I needed to switch tactics- I've done this for myself- but figured I'd share it here- for the sake of sharing (and yes, I do use this site as my personal therapist sometimes)
Dear self-
Having a baby is a major big deal, you can't expect everything to go back to the way it was overnight, or even at all- the family dynamics have changed- you need to give everyone and most of all yourself some time to adjust to that. Give you're self credit where credit is due- you're coping well- just the fact that you manage to get a 3 year old, 2 year old and a newborn out of the house on a daily basis is an achievement! the fact their social lives remain very much unchanged is a bonus- but remember- it won't always go to plan, sometimes it hits the fan- sometimes the baby will need feeding at the exact time the kids go to sleep- remember then that the kids CAN go to sleep 10 minutes later... Or earlier! You can control the outcome of most situations and when you can't, you can control how you react- also, some times one of the kids will be fussy, heck, sometimes all the kids (and their mommy!!) will be fussy! they will have bad nights, or days and this ok! This doesn't make them difficult babies or children it makes them human- sure, it's infuriating when you can't take away your kids discomfort and lack of sleep will displace that fury, these are the times you need to use the support systems you have in place- call a friend and have a melt down- no one will think less of you if you admit things are tough. You have this notion that the whole world judges you for having you're kids so close together in age, that by admitting things aren't always perfect and accepted help when its offered people will think you brought this on yourself- stop it. There is no conspiracy going on- no alterior motive to their offers to take the kids for an hour here or there- wouldn't you do it for them??
You have been extremely blessed in this world, and its time to start counting those blessing- you have a loving supportive husband who helps out loads- come on, you know he does way more than the average husband- try to be nicer to him even when you're tired- he deserves it.
Elior is a sweet natured, tenacious 3 year old with such a thirst for knowledge- feed the thirst!
Ezra... Well Ezra LOVES life! His smile is infectious- and he's fearless- give him opportunities to feel the thrill!
And Avrami- he's tiny and precious, and makes your family complete for the moment- shower him with hugs and kisses- especially when he's screaming and you'd like nothing more than to put him down and walk right out of the house, it's then that he needs it most!
You're a good parent, are there areas for improvement? Of course! Patience- find some more of it- if you can command a class of 30 children and patiently and with care cater for their every need you can calmly get 3 kids ready for bed, or in the bath- and most importantly watch your mouth- and be quick about it, if you don't it's going to come back to bite you in the a... I mean tush!! Now stop wasting time on Imamother and do something useful!
With love!
Yourself

Moderator Joined: Nov 20 2005 Posts: 4868

Posted: Wed, Aug 17 2011, 8:09 am Post subject: re: Dear Self

Hi OP, are you me?

DS#1 is 2years7months, DS#2 is 15months and DD#1 is two weeks old. Things are a little crazy and exhausting right now, but I keep reminding myself that things will pass, things will get easier... and that after the whirlwind has passed, I still have 3 wonderful children.
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See my ad to buy pregnancy tests and ovulation tests in Israel for a great price. http://imamother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=136877&highlight=pregnancy+tests

Posted: Wed, Aug 17 2011, 8:53 am Post subject: re: Dear Self

WELL SAID!!!
Give yourself a pat on the back!
I just printed this, folded it and im keeping it next to my bed to read in the middle of yet another sleepless night Smile

Gold Member Joined: Sep 22 2009 Posts: 1745

Thank you so much for this.

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 20 2005 Posts: 5262

I love it!!!

Moderator Joined: Dec 18 2008 Posts: 3611

Wow, LondonIma, you should have lots of strength, patience and nachas!
and you, too, ewa-jo, and everyone else who needs it.
(I think that's all of us.)