Gift giving....again

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48153

Yup, another shiur participant is making a wedding and she chipped in for the last two gifts so I think we h ave to get together and give her daughter someting........the family isn't well off and I think whatever we give will be really used and appreciated.

Whattaya bet I'll get three ladies chipping in $2 each and I'll end up getting something small in cut glass?

Would that be so terrible? Or is it better to give nothing?

Posted: Wed, Aug 09 2006, 10:20 pm Post subject: re: Gift giving....again

That does not look like much coming from a group of people. Are these ladies asked for money so often that all that they can manage is a couple of dollars? If that is the case, maybe it is better to ask each lady to bake something for the Shabbos kallah. If you can get together $20 or $30, you can get her a cookbook or a nice serving bowl or platter.

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48153

Yes, Sou Bubby, we Baruch HaShem have simchas all the time in the building, in the office, and at shiurim.

A lot of women are not even going to give the $2.

It would mean giving nothing at all, basically......

Posted: Mon, Aug 14 2006, 7:20 am Post subject: re: Gift giving....again

You know, about a month after our wedding, we got a card in the mail with $30 that said "now that you have everything you need, go out to a nice dinner on me." It was a really nice gift and DH and I really enjoyed it. What about getting the ladies together to make a nice quite dinner for two a few weeks after the wedding?
Another idea, someone gave us a set of tapes on shalom bayit. It was a great gift! Maybe if you buy them in bulk they would be cheaper and everyone would only have to pitch in one larger amount one time and each new couple would get a very special gift. You could do this for other simchas too! Maybe get a parenting book for new babies, or some nice pens for a bar mitzvah.

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48153

It's prob. a good idea.........thanks!

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48153

Remember the lady form the shiur who was marrying off her next daughter?
Anyway, she ended up not inviting any of us to the wedding, and I couldn't get anyone to contribute anyway as the shiur has been very poorly attended over the summer....so I'm not giving a (collective) gift. I'm not even going, I guess - I mean, I wasn't invited!
I'll pop by the shabbos kallah if I can - and say mazel tov. maybe she'll ask me to come later and dance. dunno.
it doesn' tmatter I suppose. the important thing is that she has our good wishes, right?

Posted: Thu, Aug 31 2006, 10:39 am Post subject: re: Gift giving....again

You definately do not owe a gift if you are not invited.

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48153

She did contribute to a gift or 2 from the other simchas that we all we went in on, even if we all weren't invited....

Gold Member Joined: Jun 07 2006 Posts: 1527

SaraG I'm thinking why don't you all decide together that you don't buy gifts for anyone and finished.
the main thing as you said is the good wishes. If one wants to they can bring over a homemade cake or s/t (as a side point homemade stuff cost $ too.) but all this collecting money is complicating and it seems like you're not very close one another it's just a formal thing.
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