Took ds to cheder & boy hit ds as I arrived!!

Wwyd?

we keep telling ds that fighting isnt allowed & he bh knows it & is a good kid.

dh tells ds that when a kid hits, u hit back,
I tell him when a kid hits go tell ur rebbe

I feel that both ways are wrong cuz a kid shouldnt hit & he also shouldnt be running to the rebbe, he needs to learn to defend himself.

whats the best way to teach it?

Diamond Member Joined: Jun 09 2009 Posts: 3231

Being that you posted under toddlers, I'm guessing your child is very young. It is totally normal for kids to be hitting each other at that age. I do not think it is wise to teach kids to fight back. I tell my kids they can either tell a grown up what happened, or speak to the kid himself. When kids complain to me, I say, "So ask him, 'Why did you hit me?'" That starts a conversation between the kids, where I tell the victim to say please don't hit me, I don't like it...

Diamond Member Joined: Aug 07 2006 Posts: 2556

Young children need to learn not to hit. Be sure the teacher knows about it.

I would scream at the kid. Then maybe at a later point I'd invite him over to play and be won over to my son's side.
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Isn't hitting someone back violating "Lo sikom... es b'nei amecha?"

In any case, if that happened to me with a young child it would be just like at home, a strong reprimand and making amends. At our house that includes doing a chesed for the person you just hurt. Behavior like this in toddlers is not at all abnormal. Smile

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Posted: Sun, Jun 12 2011, 2:29 pm Post subject: