Future classmate's name is sheim H" - WWYD?

My DS has special needs and goes to a public preschool in our OOT community. I just found out that one of his classmates for next year has a name that we would only say when we daven (the family is Greek Orthodox Ethiopian, and "chose it from the Bible", they told me.)

Has anyone ever been in a situation like this? How did you/would you handle it?

Platinum Member Joined: Feb 20 2009 Posts: 7675

What's the name?

Platinum Member Joined: Nov 17 2008 Posts: 5050

AYLOR
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Is it Kelikaku?

(That was a joke, BTW.)

not to sound offensive at all, but I do not know your DS.
Is he verbal? will HE be saying the other classmates name?
Does your ds understand that we don't use shem H' except to daven?

if he understands that we don't say these things, then you can try to explain to him, that there are non jews who have names that we as Jewish people do not say.

If its elokem or ado.... maybe there is a way to say it with the K or quickly enough that he wont notice you are saying it wrong?

It will be hard enough that he has to sit in a room where H' name is being thrown around lightly.
I personally would not want my kid to be in a room where the teacher is saying "(childs name) you are misbehaving right now, come and sit down"... "(childs name) its time to go potty now, make sure you wipe and wash your hands when you are finished" ect.

why do people name their kids things when they have NO idea what it means?
I doubt they would have named the kid G-D or Lord!
I have no good suggestions because this sounds really tough! is that the only pre-school class in this school that your son can be in?

Gold Member Joined: May 05 2009 Posts: 1204

I think she means "Eliyahu" because there are many Jewish names that have shem H' (like Batya), but are acceptable in the frum world.

Platinum Member Joined: Nov 17 2008 Posts: 5050

You really should ask your LOR. There are names of Ha-shem that are not kodesh depending upon context. For example, Mi Kamocha ba eilim Hashem. It is not Mi Kamocha ba Keilim Hashem -- it is not referring to Hakadosh Boruch Hu in that context. Just because the name is one that is a name of Ha-shem doesn't necessarily mean it is problematic to say it when used for something not Kodesh.

OP here. The name is "A" and then "do" and then "nai". DS is 4 and reasonably verbal. He knows that we only say that name when we make a bracha or daven, though he doesn't really think about it much. I think that if he were just told it was the new friend's name, he might not think about it too much -- but then again, he might, and he might be quite confused.

The mother said that she knew that some people only said her son's name when they were "in a temple or something."

I will have to ask our LOR. I'm tempted to find the mother again and ask her if we can use a nickname, but I'm afraid she might find that rude.

Gold Member Joined: May 05 2009 Posts: 1204

If she said that she knows some people only use it in a temple, then she probably wont think a nickname is rude. she must be used to it in some sense of the matter.

of course ask your LOR

After reading the responses, I realize it's not just about what DS will be calling the boy, but what he will be hearing in the classroom all day.

Because of his special needs, he really benefits from being with this teacher for a second year. I hate to request that they move him. I'm afraid they're going to annoyed with me if I ask them to move the other kid. Aargh!

Posted: Mon, Apr 11 2011, 5:18 pm Post subject:

Ask your LOR. It might be okay out of context. When Avraham spoke to the angels he called one of them that, meaning 'my master' and the pshat is it is chol, not kodesh, in that context.

eg there are different opinions if you can call to your friend Shalom in the bathroom, since it is one of Hashem's names.

But even if it's okay halachically, it is going to totally confuse your 4 year old. What a mess.
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if they would register him as 'adoni'- my master, as used in hebrew in place of 'sir', or that used as a nickname, maybe that would help?

and seraph, I might be mistaken, but there are different pronouncations (sp?) of biblical hebrew/prayers, where instead of saying the name as you do, they say what for you is 'my masters'

Diamond Member Joined: Aug 03 2007 Posts: 4448

Anodis?

OP again. I called my LOR.

His reaction: "You're joking, right?"

I wish.

"I'll have to get back to you on this one. Maybe it should be the 5th question at your seder."

I decided to email the school social worker and alert her to the fact that we have a cultural problem; I'm not asking for any action, just letting them know that a situation exists that we are trying to figure out what to do.

Stay tuned, and keep those comments and ideas coming. They are either helpful or amusing, and I need both!

Thoughts from DH:
"Won't his nickname just be Donny, like Donny & Marie?"
"What's next? Naming after things in Shul? Hey, this is my kid, Bima, and his sister, metal folding chair." Rolling Eyes

the way they pronounce it might be dfferent enought that your ds won't realize it's the same word he uses when he makes a bracha
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