What to do with kid that bites and hurts me?

My daughter is 16 months and she often comes to me to bite me... and a lot of times she hurts me too, scratching my face or slapping my face.... I tell her one time two times not to do that cuz it hurts mommy... she smiles and does it again, she thinks its funny... I always end up getting upset and I move her away or put her in her crib....and a lot of times I end up screaming at her... I always feel bad after... but at the moment I just cant control, I get so frustrated, after telling her so many times... and she doesnt stop... right now she is doing that... she is biting my legs!! what should I do???? any good advice?

( by the way I never bit her or potched her... so she didnt learn from me... and she might not know it hurts)
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smile and the world smiles back to you!

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 20 2004 Posts: 17151

Are you her sole caregiver?

sorry, im not sure I know what caregiver means....

Senior Member Joined: Sep 28 2005 Posts: 127

A caregiver takes care of her. She may have learned this in playgroup, from other children, or from some one else that watches her.

Posted: Tue, Aug 08 2006, 10:52 pm Post subject:

when ever my kids hurt me I tell them stern no and then put them down.
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Rivky- 5 yrs , Shmuly-4 yrs, Tzemach 2 yrs, Mirel- newborn

Executive Member Joined: Jul 17 2006 Posts: 338

try positive att. - get down on floor and play with her. give her a hug. talk to her...... Confused

Gold Member Joined: Jul 27 2005 Posts: 1034

She thinks it fun when you yell.
Does she do it when you are busy on the computer, reading....If yes then she is doing it for your attention.

Otherwise you have to remove her from you and sternly tell her no and you say make nice mommy, stroke your face with her hand. Tell her to give a kiss and make a big deal over the "good behavior" .

Yes, I am her only caregiver since she was born, ive never gone back to work since then, so weve been together the whole time... she was never at a play group. And now I feel that the biting could be happening cuz she wants my attention, she sees me in the computer, and she want to sit in the chair were I am siting, she tries to pull the mouse away from me... and then comes the biting, altough shes bitten me some other times to, when I was just siting at the couch... but I think I should try the positive att., being firm and explaining to her, didnt seem to work..... I should give her special attention, play with her, etc... we will be tring that Wink

Thank u all for taking ur time to write, and give your advice!

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 10 2006 Posts: 6565

I know there are different approaches, but I'll just share what my mashpias (a couple who have k"ah 12 children who are very good) taught on this. Dont' attack me if you have a different approach, it's just one of many valid approaches.

Under no circumstances should a child think that potching/biting/etc mommy or tatty are acceptable at all. If the child does that, there should be a clear consequence, and it should be a big deal (but the parent cannot get angry!). A parent must plan in advance that if their child bites, then....she will get a firm no and go in her crib for 1 min. or whatever...then the parent won't feel so irate because it will be a matter of action and consequence and not emotional reaction.

To give the child more attention before the behavior gets to biting, etc sounds like a very good idea, but after a bite, I'm afraid a child will learn that such behavior gets results (first I bite, then I get the positive attention I wanted). And having an 18 month old, IMHO I think they can start to get that type of cause and effect understanding at a young age.

Senior Member Joined: Aug 20 2006 Posts: 208 Location: NY

I agree with njmommy. if a child sees a consistent response - SAME punishment, EACH time, RIGHT AWAY - they learn that this is unacceptable behavior. some mags may say that kids cannot understand the concept of cause and effect until 2.5 yrs, blah, blah blah... I disagree. like the poster before me, I've seen very young children understand that certain behavior will not be tolerated by reacting to it in the manner described above.
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I never go on the computer and try not to speak on the phone too much when my baby is awake. They want our attention. shes biting cuz she cant communicate what feels ... so id say try not to go on the computer or talk on the phone for any more then 5 minutes when shes around..... if she bits say NO and put her down.

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 20 2004 Posts: 17151