Parents w/o ketubah - what's my status?

My parents weren't religious when they got married. Over the years, they sort of became dati lite. They had a ketubah at the wedding (although it was a Conservative wedding so maybe that's a problwem right there). I recently found out that due to flooding about 6 years before I was born, the ketubah was lost.
Does this affect me in any way?

Platinum Member Joined: May 06 2007 Posts: 8521

No. What about all of the BTs and Gerim? Their parents usu. don't have ketubot.
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Moderator Joined: Dec 18 2008 Posts: 3612

I don't think so. The things that could affect you would include whether your mother had been previously married, whether your parents were halachically permitted to marry, and the like.

You could use this to try to get your parents to "renew their vows" and have a kosher wedding (including going to the mikvah) and write a new kesubah, though.

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 18 2010 Posts: 3040

No problem. Worst case scenario, you're an out-of-wedlock child, which has NO halachik ramifications,and the chances that that's the case are pretty remote.

Gold Member Joined: Mar 16 2009 Posts: 2293

It makes no difference.

And don't start checking your parents' overall status when they married, either. Not without asking a rabbi first. There is no benefit to trying to find a fault with your parents' marriage or your status.

Posted: Wed, Jan 19 2011, 12:57 pm Post subject:

If they didn't have a halachic wedding but were allowed to marry each other (two unmarried Jews) you are born out of wedlock - no halachic consequences for you.

If they did have a halachic wedding but lost the ketuva, they have to get another one since it is assur to live under the same roof without one, but they are still married halachically - no difference to you.
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As others have said, there is not a halachic issue for you. However, if you are Israeli or make aliyah, be aware that your parents' ketubah is one of the documents that you might need to prove that you are Jewish to the Rabbinate if you ever remarry, or that your children might need it for a wedding license if their Jewishness is challenged. It is sad and rare, but happens. Hopefully this will never be an issue for you, but if you think it might be then you might want to talk to your LOR or a group like Nefesh bNefesh to find out what you could do to prepare, just in case.

Platinum Member Joined: Nov 04 2008 Posts: 7946

I don't understand. What about Jews from the former Soviet Union? No one had Jewish marriages there.
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Platinum Member Joined: Nov 04 2008 Posts: 7946

Platinum Member Joined: Nov 04 2008 Posts: 7946

It's a wonder anyone moves to Israel.

Not the op, but I also wondered about this issue, especially for a man and his status as a kohen, levi, yisrael etc...

For the status, you have the ancestrors' graves.

For the Jewishness, here you go to the rabbinate to get a Judaism certificate. Sometimes you need one even with a ketuba from a "weird" origin (tiny shtetl etc). They'll ask you to bring witnesses, and will try to find if your (grand)parents lived in communities and if someone remembers their family.
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Posted: Thu, Jan 20 2011, 9:32 am Post subject:

I am not trying to be mean to anyone, but I don't understand what anyone thinks the issue might be. I mean in halacha, not bureaucracy.
People that have relations without a kesubah are over lo sihiyeh kideisha and it is "znus".
That doesn't (halachikly) do anything to the children, as long as they are people that could marry lihalacha.

Of course if they don't keep thm then the child is a "ben/ bas nidda", a spiritual status, with no practical application. Many people have halachikly valid marriages and don't keep thm.

I don't understand the last amother's question.
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Posted: Thu, Jan 20 2011, 9:36 am Post subject:

Of course! there are (unfortunately) many secular Cohanim!

Posted: Thu, Jan 20 2011, 9:46 am Post subject:

This is actually a very interesting question. Say a non-religious Cohen marries a woman who isn't really able to halachically marry a Cohen, but the Reform rabbi who did the marriage didn't care about it - would the sons from that marriage be considered Cohanim if they later become BTs?