Am I too late to help ADHD child?

We always suspected that out dd was ADHD. Since she's so bright the school thought we were just micromanaging her. We saw all the homework that didn't get done - she would do it quickly during recess or lunch. The tests not studied for - she would get a 90 instead of 110. (with all the extra credit on elementary school tests.) She is totally disorganized but a real charmer - so if she was missing sheets she somehow managed to get a copy or smile her way out of it. At home her room always flying, actually she leaves a path of destruction behind her! And we see that she can't complete any task he begins. We finally just went with our gut feeling and had her evaluated. (By a top notch person $$$!) It looks like they will reccomend meds. I feel so guilty for not doing this sooner. Plus I'm concerned that now so much of her behavior has become habit that even with meds it will be so hard for her to change. (Many teens are messy!) Has anyone had experience with a similar situation? Does anyone have advice to offer?

Platinum Member Joined: Jun 30 2009 Posts: 8233

They are recommending medication without any behavioral type of therapy, to help her gain skills and such?

They are reccomending medication with therapy but I wonder how much a teenager can change if they aren't the one initiating making that change. She went for the evaluation more out of curiosity to see if she "has" ADHD but she doesn't really see anything "wrong" with her behavior. She has friends - although she does have difficulty setting boundries with them - they seem to be forgiving. School at this point doesn't interest her - so her grades (which aren't great but not failing) don't bother her. Can't really see therapy having that much of an effect on her.

no mather what mediction alone will not help it dosnt matter the age she must get counceling by someone that is trained in add. Medication only comes them down they don't learn things on thier own, they need to be taught skills that other people learn on thier own. Another thing is these kids will always be messy and alll over medications donst cure it all.

Just feeling guilty that it took us so long to do this. Our relationship is pretty stressed and I wonder if things could have been different.

Gold Member Joined: Dec 25 2008 Posts: 2041

I have a friend who had such severe adhd that when he first presented, at 16 to the Doctor we now go to, the Doctor thought he presented as 'retarded.' Today, that friend is still severely ADHD and is also a fully qualified (residence finished and practicing) and successful emergency room physician.

yes, they need to learn how to live with and cope with their issues. yes, medication can help with that. that having been said, you cannot make a person change and if they don't want to, they won't. my friend dropped out of school, dealt with drug addiction and eventually, when ready, picked up the reins and rode the horse. and YES, medication was involved, because they knew that without it they could not slow down long enough to learn any coping skills.

my kid who is almost 15 has been dx on the autism spectrum for over 11 years. we have done every therapy imaginable. it was when we realized that we were using drugs that did not work for him and got them changed to ones that did, that he started being able to handle his life. that is not to say that we do not still work with him and sit with him and help him learn how to cope. his issues present as serious adhd. so we saw an adhd doc. you know what? meds filled in the holes that therapy was missing. its like a miracle. thankfully, he wants to change so that he can accomplish what he wants to in life. but it is not like it is not work to do that, for him, for us, for school. right now he is taking half the course load of a grade 9 but since getting on the meds, he is getting 80% plus on everything.

meds are not bad. they are good when they work right. if they don't work right all meds are not bad, you find the ones that do. sometimes that is what it takes to get a kid to realize they want to slow down and learn. like some heroine addicts need methodone to stop the cycle so they can get clean and live good lives.

You are giving me hope. I thought we were winding down by going for that eval. but it looks like we are just starting... Like now the real work begins.