Spinoff- Jewish groups where full time help is normal

Posted: Sun, Nov 07 2010, 8:21 am Post subject:

Btuach leumi would pay for a a helper for me, they give me money for household help, but I still don't want a full time babysitter/foreign worker. It doesn't even sound like a luxury to me. It sounds like an invasive form of torture.

Cleaning help, help at bath time, meal help, those I can appreciate, but someone here 10-12 hours a day or full time? No thank you.
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Platinum Member Joined: Nov 01 2009 Posts: 8259

If you can afford it, it doesnt bother me. I would choose ft cleaning help over childcare though.
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Gold Member Joined: Sep 13 2008 Age: 39 Posts: 2033

Where I live, full-time help is normal.

The houses are just so big, that it's impossible for one woman to clean it herself.
Some people have two cleaning ladies at the same time. One for laundry, and one for mopping floors/bathrooms/vacuuming.

Of course, they are needed on shabbos and Yom Tov to do dishes. (what a luxury!)

One got fired. The light was off in the living room on shabbos. Her boss "hinted" that she should turn the light on. The spanish lady said, "what will the neighbors think"?

No problem. There are hundreds more ready to fill her shoes...
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Posted: Sun, Nov 07 2010, 8:34 pm Post subject:

It all has to do with the standards you were raised in and living in now. While some feel that it is just a waste others feel like they would sink without it.
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Want to see big houses where full time help is mandatory?

Go to Google.com

Click on google maps

Type "Arcadian Drive, spring valley, New York"

On the left, there is a line. Move the line up to zoom in.

When it is fully zoomed it, double click on the map.

A picture of big houses will come up. You can move your cursor to see houses on the right and left side of the street.

There are many houses like this one in the area. There is no way anyone can survive without lots of cleaning help or a live-in.

Diamond Member Joined: Nov 30 2006 Posts: 2597

We could spend another 10 pages arguing about "needing" 10,000 square feet and the affluence race... (FWIW, as much as I miss NY, I am HAPPY to live in a community where there is no race to keep up. I am not jealous at all!)

But for the record this originally had to do with having FT babysitting while not working outside the house, not a full time cleaning person.

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48159

I knew 2 women, stay at home moms, with full time help. They dressed very elegantly while help took care of feeding and diapering babies & kids, cleaning, and the cooking. I don't know what else they had - I mean, help comes with a price. The people also went away for Pesach - either to a hotel or to a resort with a hired chef.

Everyone spends their money as they see fit. As I often say on these types of threads; we don't live under Communism. Your discretionary income is just that - yours. No one can tell you how to spend it.

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 01 2005 Posts: 16962

Someone who can afford such a huge house, can afford the help.
And again, cleaning help does not equal nannies minding the kids help. it's 2 different things. I'm all for cleaning help, I take a little more issue with someone else raising your kids for you when youre home too.
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Silver Member Joined: Feb 01 2005 Posts: 503

for those of you saying that full time help allows you to spend stress-free time developing family relationships...

what is life about anyway? life is about living with everything that comes along with it. it is not about avoiding any stress. it is about working on yourself and raising your children to be good people who will work on themselves and to teach them to deal with life's stress by becoming better ppl. without any stress or adversity, how will there be any growth? if you have a babysitter taking care of all the children and a cleaning lady doing all the cleaning, then you can spend time with one child leisurely and give each child individual, undivided attention. and while that is nice (and every child deserves that every now and then), what does that teach a child. by watching a parent juggle life's many responsibilities and come through them with patience, dignity, working on their midos the whole time, that is how a child learns about life.
of course, I am not saying one should not have help. each person needs to determine what they need in order to function and not lose it. but dont lose sight of what life is all about. it is not about taking it easy. it is about the process and the growth.

I take offense at the poster targeting Arcadian drive. I live in that neighborhood and there are plenty larger homes in Wesley Hills. There are plenty of people who live in smaller homes with full time help. Why pick on a specific street in a specific neighborhood - that is clearly a sign of envy - a meidah that needs to be worked on.