Work woes

Silver Member Joined: Jun 14 2010 Posts: 692

I'm a fairly new nurse, the job outlook is dismal these days, and dh's job is looking unsteady now, so when a job on a unit I really wanted (and that will potentially open doors for me later on) came up I jumped at it, even though the hospital is an hour from my house, it required an 18 month commitment, and the pay is less than what a hospital in my area would pay. I was thrilled for the first few months, and I still enjoy my actual work, but by now I am at my wits end. Because of the distance I don't see my kids on the days I work, and when I occasionally work 3 consecutive days, it means I don't see my kids for 3 days straight. This takes a huge emotional toll on me, and it's really starting to affect my kids as well. The babysitting system I had set up for my kids is beginning to fall apart so my kids don't have a steady schedule, and it has turned out to be way more expensive than I had initially calculated. And then on the one weekday when I am actually home to be with my kids, it becomes my responsibility to take carpool. I am beginning to feel like I am in a rat race, always running and gasping for breath. I am always exhausted from my long hours, and I barely have time to do things for myself by the time I get home from my hour commute after my 12 hour shift, so when I do have those few and far between moments with my kids I am tense and upset. I would really like to move closer to my hospital, where cost of living is cheaper and where I'd be able to see my kids on days that I work, but dh doesn't want to move there. I try to point out that his job (where we live now) is quite unsteady and that he isn't being paid much or on time anyway, but he will not consider moving. And also, my children are so happy in school and it would be terrible to uproot them now and get them into new schools in middle of the year. I can't quit my job because I made a commitment, and also because a steady income is essential right now. So I'm basically stuck in my situation, but I'm miserable and really close to a total breakdown. Had a miserable crying fit on Friday, and all the tension is still building up inside. I need help... any suggestions or ideas?

Posted: Sun, Oct 17 2010, 4:19 pm Post subject: Re: work woes

Silver Member Joined: Jun 14 2010 Posts: 692

I don't know how binding the commitment that I made is, but I did sign a form in which I committed to work for a certain period of time, and I also received a bonus from the hospital in exchange. I guess I could theoretically renege on my commitment and pay back the money that I received, but I'd be making a big chilul hashem, and at the same time there is no guarantee that I would be able to find a job of the same caliber in my area. Or even a job at all. Although nursing is touted as "recession proof", it is not and especially not for nurses with limited experience as I do, and I know of many peers who have been looking for months. And even if I did quit, I would be doing it for my husband's job which is not much of a job anymore. And if it dissolves totally, a short time after I quit, where would we be? I feel so stuck!

Gold Member Joined: Aug 11 2010 Posts: 1295

Silver Member Joined: Jun 14 2010 Posts: 692

Kayza - you're completely right about taking care of myself like that. It won't solve my problem, but it will probably help me cope a lot better. I don't end up taking care of my health (which is ridiculous since I spend my days trying to improve other peoples' health) but I really need to make it a priority.

Gold Member Joined: Nov 26 2006 Posts: 2306 Location: NY

I came to the Working Women section looking for a post like this. Can I commiserate?
I'm also a nurse, and I"m starting to absolutely really truly dislike it. My job is also about an hour away (even more) it's 5 days a week and it involves extra paperwork in the evening which takes hours and hours.
I know what you mean about crying fits- I just had one, and though this week until now has been good, I've had days and days of crying the other week.
I literally have no time for anything- cooking, folding laundry- even SHOWERING. Sad

I haven't davened in ages and I hate that. I've been getting too few hours of sleep.
I feel overworked and drained and I feel like nobody understands how impossible this situation is for me. Even dh and mil whom I'm close with, they just cluck sympatheticaly and then shrug and say that there's nothing to do right now, we need the parnassah, yada yada, but I feel like I'm going to break.
(((Hugs all around)))