Need help- losing my mind!!

Executive Member Joined: Jan 20 2007 Posts: 372

ok so my ds is 2 and 5 months. I started toilet training in mid august. It went relatively well for number 1, and number 2 was slightly harder but also ok.
BUT the past 2 weeks he's been completely impossible. Number 1 is perfect- he has total control. However, he is completely traumatized to go number 2- no matter what he's wearing. I put him on pullups for school now in the beginning, but he holds himself in. He will hold himself in no matter what, making himself and everyone around him crazy. He dances, cries, and his personality completely changes when he has to go. But he insists on holding it in till the last last last second, when he will go wherever he is in whatever he's wearing. So please do not advise me to put him back in diapers. I gladly would, but he will still hold himself in no matter what.
As I type, he is crying near me- completely uncharacteristic of him, since he is such a happy kid. Please help- I want my happy yummy son back!!

Active Poster Joined: Aug 25 2010 Posts: 66

I had that with one of my sons too, but he held it in so much that he became so constipated...and I highly suggest you do everything in your power to make sure he does not let it go that far! I have 3 suggestions:
1) give him foods that soften it so that it is easier to push. Maybe it hurts him when it comes out and that could be the reason he doesnt want to get it out! Things that work are prunes, raisins or even a big cup of grape juice. I remember finding this honey based fruit type of concoction from the health food store that worked amazingly.
2) If he is getting attention for holding it in, he might be using this as a power struggle...so if this is the issue, try to channel the attention while he is doing it right like when he makes number 2 on the toilet. Buy him really amazing treats that he can only have when he makes #2 on the toilet. We just finished training another son and this worked wonders...he would see the treat and run to the bathroom to 'make'.
3) If you have older kids, get them involved! Let them hang out with him in the bathroom reading books or singing songs. Offer the big kids a treat to whoever helps him...

I hope this helps! Good luck!!
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Executive Member Joined: Jan 20 2007 Posts: 372

Thanks, insomniac! So in response-

1- He has never been constipated and never had issues with number 2 before. Someone else suggested that I give him something to soften it, so I will try that, though I don't think that's the problem.

2- I make a HUGE deal about numb 2 when he goes on the potty. He calls my husb to tell him, my mom and mil lol- he loves that. He gets great prizes which I show him and he knows that I will open it when he goes- e.g. toy airplanes, thomas trains, etc.

3- My older daughter is great- she hangs out with us in the bathroom, offering prizes and engouraging him. She offers him silly bands and anything else she owns- she's really into it.

So all ur advice was great- I'm trying everything but nothings working!!! I am sooooo stressed about it I don't know what to do.....

Active Poster Joined: Aug 25 2010 Posts: 66

These 2 year olds are smart! How does he feel when he has an accident in his underwear?

Executive Member Joined: Jan 20 2007 Posts: 372

Every time he has an accident- in underwear or on the floor (if he's bare-bottomed) or even in his diaper or pullup he cries "wipe me wipe me" or "I made".....something to that effect. He's definitely bothered by it.

Active Poster Joined: Aug 25 2010 Posts: 66

Boor baby, and poor Mommy!

I think he just needs more time....you are doing exactly what you are supposed to do! The rest is up to him!

Behaztlacha Raba!

Executive Member Joined: Jan 20 2007 Posts: 372

So what do u suggest I do every time he holds it in? Run with him to the potty? Ignore him? Nothing's working!!!!

Gold Member Joined: May 09 2007 Posts: 1360

Could he have an anal fissure that's making it painful for him to pass stool? Sometimes they are internal. I remember my older son suddenly started holding it in as long as he could (long afte rhe was trained) and it would then explode out suddenly when he wasn't ready. I called the doctor, and she told me to ask him if it hurts to poop, and he said yes. I don't remember what we did to make it better, but it didn't last that long.

Posted: Wed, Sep 15 2010, 5:47 pm Post subject: re: Need help- losing my mind!!

Personally, if I'd have seen my son is afraid, I'd stop the toilet training right in its tracks at that age.
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