Night training issue

Gold Member Joined: Jul 26 2008 Posts: 2096

So here's my problem with DS (aged 3.5)

He's potty trained during the day, but at night not so much. It used to be fine as long as I would take him to the bathroom in the middle of the night and it would never pose a problem.

But lately whenever I take him to the bathroom in the middle of the night, he FREAKS OUT!!!
He kicks and screams and writhes on the floor for at least 15 mins. After 15 mins he becomes SLIGHTLY more coherent and screams that he doesn't have to go. He proceeds to hit or pull at his privates, like he's angry at them... The whole time I'm speaking very calmly to him, and keep asking him if he needs a hug. Eventually he crawls into my arms, and calms down. As long as I don't mention going to the bathroom. If I put him back in his bed he's happy and goes right back to sleep. But he pees his pjs like 5 minutes later.

So I think what's going on is that he actually DOES have to go, but he's so deeply asleep that the message is not going through fully enough. So he feels uncomfortable, but he can't figure out why, and he decides he's just too tired to deal...

I could be totally off...

In any case, I don't know what to do...

Active Poster Joined: Apr 26 2010 Posts: 70

I have a four an a half year that is still not night time trained... we tried but she had no interest and I didnt think it was useful to wake her up so many times at night. some kids are not ready. maybe hes not ready?

Posted: Sat, Sep 11 2010, 11:58 pm Post subject: re: Night training issue

I think you should simply go with the flow... He cant handle the nighttime wakings, then put him in diapers at night and try again in 6 months... No reason to rush it.... My son was toilet trained for the daytime when he was 2 and a half. Training went amazingly well bli ayin hora. There was no resistance, he was very cooperative, there were very few accidents, it was not hard, etc BH. However, im only night-training him now and he is 4 (and a quarter). So... in my opinion, put your child back in diapers for nighttime! Chanoch L'Naar Al Pi Darko and all that... Good Luck!!

Posted: Sun, Sep 12 2010, 12:05 am Post subject: re: Night training issue

My son is 4 1/2 and still wears diapers at night. I tried waking him, he peed but then still wet his bed. He might not be able to control himself for a full 12 hours, and obviously cant handle being woken. Every kid is different, though. (My 2 1/2 yr old stays dry at night...). My neighbor was telling me that nobody ever goes to the chuppa not toilet trained, whether for day or for night!

Gold Member Joined: Jul 26 2008 Posts: 2096

He's always been in underwear at night. The first day we potty trained him he decided he was completely done with diapers and just never looked back.
Honestly he didn't even wet the bed for the first month or two and it's been working great for the past 4 months. I mean he has an occasional accident. But since he started school this year, he doesn't take naps anymore so he's REALLY exhausted at night. It's the only thing I can think is affecting him.
I tried getting him to wear a pull up and he had a fit! So that's just not going to work...
Maybe I should just tuck him in bed earlier? I mean, his bedtime is already at 7:30 and even then he's waking up at 6:30... I shudder to think what time he would wake up if he went to sleep earlier...

Platinum Member Joined: Dec 27 2007 Posts: 7241

I think you need to deal with the nighttime screaming issue. For some reason, he has a negative association with being woken up and taken to potty in the middle of night. I would try to change that by offering something immediately rewarding, say an ice pop, and see if that calms him down. Then he can gradually work up to sitting on the potty with the ice pop, etc.

It is possible that he is just not awake enough to understand what is going on, but if that is all it is, why would he be so upset and worked up about it?

Senior Member Joined: Oct 19 2010 Posts: 226

He's definitely not ready. When he starts waking up by himselft to go to the bathroom, you can switch him to underwear. I keep my 3 year old (trained for a year now during the day) in a pull-up at night. When he stopped diapers he started wearing underwear during the day and pull-ups at night so they're both "big boy pants".