Heter Shopping

Posted: Tue, Aug 31 2010, 10:09 am Post subject: Heter Shopping

I am MO and I always go to my rav (as opposed to different ones) for a heter on something.

I have a 14 Month old and I am still nursing. Also, at the same time, my non-religious family is having a memorial for my aunt that just passed away on Tzom Gedaliah w/ food involved (it will be kosher). It will be very hard for me to fast in this situation.

Problem is, my Rabbi always tells me to fast- when I am pregnant or nursing (except for the immediate postpartum period). I have problems fasting some of the time, and this is really pushing it for me. If I ask him, I know he will say I have to fast.

So, is it wrong for me to (WITHOUT ASKING HIM FIRST) to go to a different Rav and ask? If so, can anyone recommend one who will be sympathetic?

As for my husband, he may be S.O.L.
_________________
~Rebecca
NYM 6/11/2004 Music

LTR 6/25/2009 Lady

"Knowledge works best when shared"

Silver Member Joined: Feb 07 2010 Posts: 891

You are only required to fast on YOM KIPPUR that's it. There are heterim for T'shah baav as well. I am regular middle of the road orthodox and that is what we hold. I don't ask about the other fasts as halachically you don't have to fast. However one is not supposed to eat food that gives them pleasure either, just eat in moderation.

If you didn't ask your rav yet you can ask a different rav but once you ask you have to listen, sometimes I say I just need advice, when asking for advice you don't have to keep what the rav says and you can ask a diff. rav this is only done in very extreme circumstances, also if you are asking you can say would it be okay for me to ask Rabbi so and so for his opinion and then you can listen to other Rabbi.

If this sounds confusing PM me.

Silver Member Joined: Mar 20 2006 Posts: 963

Disclaimer: I'm not a rav, I'm not paskening.

I just want to say that being that this year Tzom Gedalia is a "double nidche"- pushed off twice, (as really, Gedalia was killed on 2nd day R"H, but we can't fast, so we fast on Gimmel, but this year it's Shabbos, so we're fasting Sunday), it is a lot more lenient. So maybe you're own rav will give you a heter? Have you ever asked specifically about Tzom Gedalia while nursing a baby, or just other fasts?