WWYD?Babysitter used telephone - high bill

Posted: Sun, Jul 18 2010, 2:37 pm Post subject:

I think OP should, the next time she takes a sitter, spell out the rules, or leave them next to the phone or fridge.

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 12 2007 Posts: 14243

When we lived in the US and read the Hebrew paper, there was once an article on the cell phone bills kids ran up, in Israel. I don't know if we were part of the cell-phone age yet. It was much more developed, and much earlier, in Israel. In any event, parents lamented their children running up bills of hundreds of shekels a month and DH and I were :shock: . We couldn't understand it. But the article told how calls from landlines to cell phones cost. And kids were too lazy to get off their rears and go to a friend, so they just called the friend's cell phone, and it was easy to rack up a huge bill. Kids just didn't get it, and they won't get it unless you knock it into their brain. Some parents don't bother, and prefer to pay the bills. There is no way of knowing what the babysitter's financial IQ is.
I think that I personally would not say anything, but I wouldn't hire here again and I'd ask future sitters to refrain from calling cell phones.
Personally, I usually ask my children's friends to first call home if they need to ask their mother something, and not call her cell. It's automatic for kids to call their parents' cell numbers.
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Gold Member Joined: Sep 04 2005 Posts: 1866

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 12 2007 Posts: 14243

In a word, yes. I don't have my bill in front of me, but it's laid out in black and white. Our landline is whatever from 7 am to 7pm, when it goes down to practically nothing. Cell phone airtime is always expensive.

Executive Member Joined: Jun 24 2010 Posts: 356

I wouldn't call her. Its stinks, but you didn't tell her not to use the phone. I would just bite the bullet (unless it is simply financially impossible) and take this as one of those expensive learning experiences.

I would call the sitter up very matter of a factly and tell her the facts: That you got your phone bill, it was very high, and you see that the high cost is because of phone calls that were made when you were out at a simcha and she was watching your kids. Tell her in a diplomatic way that you were very suprised and didn't think you would have to explain to a sitter that she can't make expensive calls on your phone. However, tell her that you are not out to "get" her but she needs to pay you back the money orelse you will have to do the logical thing and tell others who use her about this. Not as a way to "get back" at her, but just because you feel the need to protect your friends. And definitley tell your SIL about it. If the girl doesn't get jobs from your SIL, that should teach her a lesson, its for her own good, not revenge for u. Doing nothing is the worst idea, its bad for you and she will never learn, this can be for her good too. Make sure you don't put her on the defensive but then again, make sure she understand that this is not so "innocent" looking either. Sounds from the OP that she should have known what she was doing. Good luck. This is not a time to be passive!

Posted: Sun, Jul 18 2010, 3:15 pm Post subject:

it might even be a question for a rov.

Executive Member Joined: Jun 24 2010 Posts: 356

Posted: Sun, Jul 18 2010, 3:24 pm Post subject:

Because, in a business setting, I don't think it's allowed to ask an employee to cover their expenses if they made a mistake. I think this might be the same.

Executive Member Joined: Feb 24 2009 Posts: 413

although its true teenagers are not always so clued in its also true that you should have mentioned the specifics of your phone situation if its such an issue . But as some posters above said in order to make this a lesson learned I would suggest you tell her to pay at least half or more as she sees right. Her conscience just might get her to pay all. and in the future make a note of pointing out to all babysitters your specific circumstances of the phone.

as a flip issue you don't want it to get around that you are a difficult person to babysit for either.

Posted: Sun, Jul 18 2010, 7:52 pm Post subject:

The thing is, it isn't her specifics. I don't see how it is normal to charge three and a half hours of cell phone conversation to any Israeli phone anywhere you are babysitting.

It is expensive any where they would go.
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Diamond Member Joined: Apr 06 2008 Posts: 2575

I had this exact thing happen to me and it was back in the day when unlimited plans didn't exist.

I'll tell you what I did and what I regret not doing.
(She has to be told because otherwise it's like she is stealing from you and you aren't giving her a chance to pay back. Also she has to learn not to do that again.)

I called her up and clarified that it was indeed the night she babysat and then I broached the topic of the bill.
(It was about $40 that she used up if I remember correctly)
She straight away apologized and said she'd bring over the money.

She did bring it to me a day or 2 later but gave me a bit too much and ran away before I could give her the change saying never mind, she was that mortified.

My regret is that I let it go after and never called her to babysit again. I didn't because it was awkward between us but I regret it because I know what it's like to do something stupid when you are young and then forever have it eat at you with no closure to the event.

Fact of the matter is I'm sure she learnt her lesson and would never do it again but I should have called her to baby-sit again so that we could turn it into water under the bridge and she could feel she was forgiven and move on rather then be awkward when she sees me forever after. We used to be friendly, I like her, but now it's just not the same.

Active Poster Joined: Sep 23 2008 Posts: 89 Location: NY

Even if you want to be exceptionally nice about it (which it sounds like you do) there is absolutely nothing wrong with LETTING HER KNOW.

By not letting her know, you just hold it in your heart , which, if you are upset about it is forbidden I believe under lo sisneh achicha bilvavecha.

You sound really nice and unconfrontational. Give her a chance to make right by telling her straight.
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Executive Member Joined: Dec 17 2008 Posts: 405

Who doesn't understand that you don't make expensive calls on someone else's cheshbon? I don't think I would even mention it when having a babysitter, who doesnt know that you dont rack up someone elses phone bill?

Its an uncomfortable situation. I agree that you should ask a rav for a wise answer in how to deal with it and not embarrass the girl.

I just want to share a story I once had as a babysitter. I was scheduled to babysit for two neighbors and ended up taking payment from both ladies (even though I should have taken just from one). I didn't think into it. She called me the next day to tell me that she double paid me, I looked like a "ganev" but I didn't think about it. I just took what they gave me.
So you never know what she could have been thinking. Ask her first- that would be my advice.