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| Ima2NYM_LTR |
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 Posted: Thu, Jun 24 2010, 1:57 pm Post subject: giving only 1/2 a gift |
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Someone in our community gave my six year old a birthday gift.
As background, this woman has 8 children and is a widow/now divorce. She is, to be honest (and its not only IMHO) a bad parent. Scatterbrained, only does what she needs to, and only if it fits into her schedule, neglects kids.
We 'adopted' one of the kids for some Shabbos's years ago. Now she is in HS, and goes away for school.
She came back to town for the summer and we invited her over for Ds's birthday Shabbos dinner. A few days later she stops by with mom with a present for DS.
It is a 'adventure kit" with multiple items (http://www.sakar.com/p-1755.aspx?categoryid=14)
When I helped him open the gift I noticed 2 of the 6 items had been removed!! I didnt say anything to him.
I have no doubt the mother removed the items (a 35mm camera and 'motion detector') I am more than slightly offended that she chose to give my child a gift-but took out pieces first.
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| ewa-jo |
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| Posted: Thu, Jun 24 2010, 2:17 pm Post subject: re: giving only 1/2 a gift |
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Yeah, that was very strange.
If she got the kit and wanted to give her kids some of the toys, well, that's her choice. The proper thing to do is to take them out of the wrapping and re-package them (maybe in a basket or something) and then you wouldn't have known that some were missing.
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| yo'ma |
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| Posted: Thu, Jun 24 2010, 2:36 pm Post subject: re: giving only 1/2 a gift |
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| It is strange, but you said so yourself, she's a bit strange, so what she does shouldn't be so strange to you.
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| Ima2NYM_LTR |
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| Posted: Thu, Jun 24 2010, 3:16 pm Post subject: |
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| just frustrating
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| Isramom8 |
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| Posted: Thu, Jun 24 2010, 3:26 pm Post subject: re: giving only 1/2 a gift |
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Repackaging would have been okay, unless you saw the kit being sold as such. This way was very tacky, but you already said that she is. I guess she expects you to see the gift as a cup half full. (Two thirds, actually.)
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| amother |
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Amother
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| Posted: Thu, Jun 24 2010, 3:49 pm Post subject: re: giving only 1/2 a gift |
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When she has something coming up, buy her shoes or boots, give her the box with only one shoe or boot.... 
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| Isramom8 |
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| Posted: Thu, Jun 24 2010, 4:48 pm Post subject: re: giving only 1/2 a gift |
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| We received one sefer of a set for our wedding. I guess they liked the other volumes more, or else other couples each got a volume. Gee, we can get together and start a library...
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| louche |
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| Posted: Thu, Jun 24 2010, 11:50 pm Post subject: Re: re: giving only 1/2 a gift |
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| Isramom8 wrote: | | We received one sefer of a set for our wedding. I guess they liked the other volumes more, or else other couples each got a volume. Gee, we can get together and start a library... |
That's not so unusual. If it was an expensive set, one volume may have been all they could afford, and it's not all that different from buying you one place setting of an expensive set of china. The diff is you register for the china and I assume you didn't register for the seforim. The other diff is that one place setting of china is really useless, but one volume of a set of books is not.
We got a chumash--two volumes, sefer Vayikra. That's all. The person who gave it to us ordered by phone or by mail and assumed it would be all 5 chumashim. what it was, was a translation or compilation of a certain person's commentary, and the ad wasn't all that clear--it said something like "the entire commentary available to date." What was available to date was only sefer Vayikra, but the ad didn't say that. By now another volume or two is available, or maybe all of it, but at the time, the whole thing was just that one sefer.
Read the fine print on some chinese auction prizes of an Artscroll Shas--sometimes it is NOT the whole shas but only about half.
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| chocolate moose |
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| Posted: Fri, Jun 25 2010, 11:47 am Post subject: |
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It could be, like on The Worst Gift thread, that there's a story behind it; like she lost two of the items, or they broke. Or a kid wrapped it and pocketed them.
Don't take it personally.
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| Ima2NYM_LTR |
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| Posted: Fri, Jun 25 2010, 11:56 am Post subject: |
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| it wasnt wrapped- and the box was obviously opened and closed with care. and her kids would have no interest in the stuff
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| Liba |
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| Posted: Fri, Jun 25 2010, 12:00 pm Post subject: |
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It is possible she bought it from the clearance section, not realizing it was missing parts, and actually thought she got a great gift at a bargain price?
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| Isramom8 |
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| Posted: Fri, Jun 25 2010, 12:01 pm Post subject: re: giving only 1/2 a gift |
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| Louche, my dh would have been thrilled to register for sefarim! At his bar mitzvah all the sefarim he received were a small siddur - which he still has - and a biography of Moshe Dayan. He felt really deprived (although he grew up with everything else). He is delighted when our sons receive sefarim for their bar mitzvahs, and helps them assemble their own bookcases to hold them.
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| Ima2NYM_LTR |
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| Posted: Fri, Jun 25 2010, 12:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Liba-its possible.....
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| louche |
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| Posted: Fri, Jun 25 2010, 1:46 pm Post subject: Re: re: giving only 1/2 a gift |
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| Isramom8 wrote: | | Louche, my dh would have been thrilled to register for sefarim! At his bar mitzvah all the sefarim he received were a small siddur - which he still has - and a biography of Moshe Dayan. He felt really deprived (although he grew up with everything else). He is delighted when our sons receive sefarim for their bar mitzvahs, and helps them assemble their own bookcases to hold them. |
Come to think of it, I'm surprised none of the big Judaica stores has yet come up with the idea of a BM registry. I think my ds would have liked that, too. One ds wanted a certain set of sefarim that I didn't know ran to twenty some-odd volumes. I thought it would be five or six, otherwise I'd never have suggested it. I told someone that was what he wanted, and they got him about half of the set. Eventually I bought him the rest of the set, and then I saw why they didn't get him the whole thing.
OTOH...what a boy wants at 13 may not be what he needs for the rest of his life. That set of sefarim ds wanted for his BM? Now he wants to sell it--and he hasn't used more than three of the twenty-whatever volumes. Which is why he wants to sell it, of course. It's his to do with it as he pleases, but yeesh, I wasted several hundred dollars completing the set. He won't be able to get back what I paid for it even though the books haven't even been cracked open. A kapparah.
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