To learn or not to learn?

Posted: Wed, May 26 2010, 5:41 pm Post subject: to learn or not to learn?

I have 2 choices of school for next year for my son.

1- (4-6 kids) a small school where he will learn ALOT but he is the ONLY boy.

2- a larger class (12-14 kids) where there are only boys, but he will not learn a thing. (my daughter went there and she did not learn one thing all year)

which would you choose?

Gold Member Joined: Jul 11 2008 Posts: 1898

what age group are you talking about?

Posted: Wed, May 26 2010, 6:08 pm Post subject: re: to learn or not to learn?

here I go giving advise, and I have never been in this situation. but kids do well in small groups, especially if well run. I assume he is young?

Posted: Wed, May 26 2010, 6:13 pm Post subject: re: to learn or not to learn?

You can teach him Aleph Bais and ABC's at home and send him to the boys' class.

If you don't have time to teach him, send him to the girls class.
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Posted: Wed, May 26 2010, 6:50 pm Post subject: re: to learn or not to learn?

he is 3.5 so it would be nursery- he'd have to learn basics there. he already knows all his abcs and alef bais. the boys class they just go over that again.
in the girls group they would teach him on his level.
so he'd be reading a few months after beign in that school. (they split up by level, not age)

but there will be no boy friends for him! is that important?
he does have 3 brothers.

Posted: Wed, May 26 2010, 6:55 pm Post subject: re: to learn or not to learn?

When my ds was that age, all his friends were the girls. Now that he's 5, girls..yuck Laughing

. His friends are only boys now. I don't think it's that important to have boys in his class at that age, but as he gets older, it is of course very important, even for the following year.
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Posted: Wed, May 26 2010, 7:11 pm Post subject: re: to learn or not to learn?

I say send him to where he will learn, he has boys at home and later will go to other school with boys.
btw is this in brooklyn? I would love to send my kids to a place that will actually teach them to read and divides according to level and not age

Posted: Wed, Jun 02 2010, 12:07 pm Post subject: re: to learn or not to learn?

I will preface this by saying that I am a pre-k (the year before kindergarten) teacher in a very good school with parents who have very high expectations. I also have my masters in early childhood education. I used to think that the kids were coming into my class not prepared by there previous teacher. I didnt think they were learning enough academically so to speak. But then I realized how wrong I was! What kids need to be learning at 3 and 4 is how to be in school. They need to learn to socialize appropriately, how to play, how to eat lunch at a specific time, how to be on a schedule, how to behave at nap time, how to listen at circle time, how to participate in centers etc! While I do think that its good to have some academic type stuff as part of the curriculum, the social stuff is way more important because its harder to learn! I very often see kids who have learned so much at home, but they are first starting school at 4 or 5 and they have no idea how to play...they just run around bothering all the other kids. Cause and effect is taught through swinging etc... So in my opinion, it is much more important to be in a class with boys so he learns how to play with them and is prepared for elementary school when he will be with all boys. Especailly becuase girls and boys play differently. If he gets comfortably playing with girls, it will be harder to switch over to boys in a couple of years. I know you said he has brothers, but dont kid yourself, its not the same as playing everyday with 12-14 boys his own age. you can always teach him more of the academic stuff at home. I hope I've been clear and I hope this helps!! I know people have different opinions!!

good luck!

Diamond Member Joined: Sep 18 2004 Posts: 2600

Posted: Wed, Jun 02 2010, 12:47 pm Post subject: re: to learn or not to learn?

And I am going to disagree with the premise of the above posters.

The most important thing at this time is that a child is in a LOVING environment within a small group setup. Children learn through play, and formal instruction is really not so important right now. I will tell you a little secret: Many years ago, children didn't learn how to read until age 6 (1st grade). Now they are shoving more and more information down our children's throat- but in the end, ppl don't stop complaining how unintelligent and unmotivated the kids are as they grow older. Children really don't need formal instruction at this age. They benefit much more learning through play.

With that being said, I wouldn't worry so much about learning "how" to play with boys. We sometimes forget how resilient and adaptable our children are. I would put the learning issue aside right now. I would much prefer to look at the group size. I will tell you from my own experience as a mother (with an early childhood degree!) that nursery is very different than kindergarten. Be careful with your boys. Send them to a smaller group. When your son is in kindergarten next year it won't be so hard to adapt to a boys school. Kindergarten boys are very different than nursery boys! One year makes a HUGE difference. Everyone is a lot more mature. I sent my ds to a nursery that started off with 15 kids, 10 of them boys, and he was off the wall. I switched him to a smaller group of 6, where there is only one boy that is there that is his age, and it's unbelievable how his behavior has changed in school and at home.

Again, to reiterate, the most important thing is class size and a loving morah. not the disciplinarian kind.

Posted: Wed, Jun 02 2010, 1:30 pm Post subject: re: to learn or not to learn?

I don't have a degree in education.

Its impossible to generalize here. There are boys that age who would be unhappy in an environment that is dominated by girls, esp if the girls are *girly girls* who prefer playing with dolls or playing dress-up all day. There are boys who would thrive in that environment. Of course, there are girls who would be bored to tears with that type of play. Only OP knows her son and can judge this.

I wouldn't want to place my child in a nursery school where kids are grouped by educational level, and where very young children are expected to learn to read. And I say this as the mother of a boy whose favorite activity in pre-K is making lists -- of his favorite toys, or games, of baseball players, of friends.

I also wouldn't want my child in a nursery school where he would learn nothing -- not a new bracha, not a new story, or about animals, holidays, combining colors and shapes. I wonder how that could be.

Posted: Wed, Jun 02 2010, 1:32 pm Post subject: re: to learn or not to learn?

What is the staff ratio for the group of 12-14? If it is 2 Morahs and they are qualified, I would be quite comfortable with the setup.

I would totally not send my son to be the only boy in a group of girls. It's amazing how aware they are, at 2 I wouldn't care but by 3 1/2 boys and girls are already developing into their distinct personalities. Their needs are different, and their makeup is different. I would want my son to have social opportunities with boys his age, and I wouldn't want him to feel different either.
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Posted: Wed, Jun 02 2010, 1:34 pm Post subject:

There are only these two options?

It totaly depends on his type. Does he need stimulation or can he handle being in a classroom of five little sissys all year? My boys would thrive in the boys class since they are social and prefer fun and company.
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