Back-handed Mazel Tovs

Diamond Member Joined: Oct 25 2007 Posts: 4862

I don't usually start threads -- especially not venting threads -- but this happened this evening and left me reeling:

We purchased a new (used) minivan last week after our Ford Taurus went to its final reward. It had been an interim car -- too small for our family, really -- but available for $1000 when we needed a car! Now, I'll admit it was not a handsome car. One mirror was barely hanging on with duct tape, and it looked like it had been "rode hard and put away wet," as they might say in the West. But it worked great, and even better, we owned it outright.

The new minivan, admittedly, is a lot classier -- and a lot more pleasant for our family, not to mention all the teenagers to whom I give rides. Of course, I don't remember them complaining about the Taurus when the alternative was walking.

Anyway, we were getting out of the minivan this evening when a frum woman whom I've never seen before parked across the street. She got out of her van and called out, "Mazel tov on your new van. I felt so bad seeing you get into your old car every day. I wondered if you'd make it to where you were going. And your poor kids . . . all stuffed in . . ."

Well, you know me. I couldn't think of anything witty to say, so I just said, "Oh, thank you. Actually, our old car worked very well until the end."

I know the woman didn't mean any harm. I'm sure she genuinely wished me well, and she just forgot to put the filter between her brain and her mouth.

But c'mon! You can't just say, "Mazel tov! Enjoy your new van!" and leave it at that?! I realize that comments about cars are pretty minor in the realm of stupid things people say. I guess I just shock easily! However, I'm trying to see the humor in it, and I was successful in discouraging oldest DD from marching over to beat the woman up!

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 29 2007 Posts: 12057

Oy. Some people need to have their day scripted out to keep their feet out of their mouths.

Posted: Wed, Mar 03 2010, 1:15 am Post subject: re: Back-handed Mazel Tovs

Fox, this is right up there with Oh gosh! You lost so much weight! You used to look so baaaaaad (whiny inflection). And my gosh! Your nose was so big etc... Why can't you just say you look so good?!
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Posted: Wed, Mar 03 2010, 1:30 am Post subject: re: Back-handed Mazel Tovs

how about when an anorexic stick who is as skinny as my eleven year old sister says to me, looking my body over carefully, "oh I see you finally lost all your baby weight. was it hard?" this was when my baby was 8 months old... gag, please can I stuff four billion calories down your throat right now.

Posted: Wed, Mar 03 2010, 1:42 am Post subject: re: Back-handed Mazel Tovs

Reminds me of when my friend got engaged at the ripe old age of 26. Her mother's friend went over to say her mazel tovs... "You must be soooo relieved Chayale is finally getting married."

Gold Member Joined: Jan 09 2007 Posts: 1807

when G-d gave out brains, she thought He said stains, and asked for hers to be permanently removed....

Posted: Wed, Mar 03 2010, 2:41 am Post subject: re: Back-handed Mazel Tovs

after I had my 4th dd in a row (no sons) someone said "well Mazel Tov anyway!"

Platinum Member Joined: Jun 22 2008 Posts: 6431

Mazel tov on your new van

Diamond Member Joined: Oct 25 2007 Posts: 4862

Thanks, all!

Like I said, I know this is small potatoes in the world of insensitive remarks. But sometimes these remarks just come swooping out of left field and catch you off guard!

Thanks for empathizing! My good humor is restored!

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 29 2007 Posts: 12057

Posted: Wed, Mar 03 2010, 12:52 pm Post subject: Re: re: Back-handed Mazel Tovs

Posted: Wed, Mar 03 2010, 1:08 pm Post subject: re: Back-handed Mazel Tovs

When I got engaged my MIL told my mom at least her darling baby is marrying Jewish. Shocked

What did THAT mean? Shocked

I know he was a very new BT from a not frum family but still! I must have been a really bad catch. Crying or Very sad

Gold Member Joined: Aug 17 2008 Posts: 1250

Fox, I'm the one whose husband holds his breath for the witty remarks back, so I admire your (and DD's restraint). I am allowed to repeat them (at a safe distance) out loud.

"I'm sorry, what old car? This is our first."

"Thanks. May Hashem rescue you from your clunker soon, too!"

"You worried? Really? Do you have no emuna? I have a hotline for you to call..."
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Gold Member Joined: Oct 05 2008 Posts: 2231

Posted: Wed, Mar 03 2010, 1:39 pm Post subject: re: Back-handed Mazel Tovs

Another one:

Oh, those weren't my kids, they're customers. I run a taxi-service. By stuffing everyone in like that I was able to make enough money to buy a new van!

Platinum Member Joined: May 22 2005 Posts: 13795

Posted: Wed, Mar 03 2010, 1:48 pm Post subject: Re: Back-handed Mazel Tovs

Posted: Wed, Mar 03 2010, 2:27 pm Post subject: Re: re: Back-handed Mazel Tovs

Posted: Wed, Mar 03 2010, 3:06 pm Post subject: Re: re: Back-handed Mazel Tovs

Posted: Wed, Mar 03 2010, 3:13 pm Post subject: