Dina Friedman's course. The Hisgabrus chart

Senior Member Joined: Jul 27 2007 Posts: 239

I like the idea of the hisgabrus chart, but I wonder what will happen when my kids get enough checks to finish it. Then what, erase and start again?

My kids are competitive and the kid who finished will look like she is behind the others, and she won't like that. It should be something that children are doing for themselves in the end, shouldn't it.

A suggestion that I got from my chavrusa for the program: she said that she keeps a little notebook for each child and then writes down about their "high level choice" in it. They can review it and see how far they have come. I like the idea.

Anyone else have feedback on this chart and how to keep it effective after the initial startup excitement?

Posted: Tue, Feb 02 2010, 1:27 pm Post subject:

So far I'm still up to the initial excitement. Even my 2-year old gets excited about high "yevel" choices - although mostly it's my 5-year old making those choices.

I'm having a hard time noticing two hitgabruyot a day, though. Sad

Executive Member Joined: Dec 19 2006 Posts: 399

I missed the last half hour of last weeks class when dinah explained the chart and I didnt listen to this weeks ye. can u explain it to me? thanks

The emphasis is supposed to be on the fact that you noticed that they made the high level choice. That you are pointing out the high level choices and noticing how they are strong and all that. The chart isn't really for them. It is mostly for you. They don't even need to see the chart, really, although it is a good physical evidence of the fact that you noticed for them. You could erase it at the end of each day. There doesn't need to be any kind of accounting of the number of times you mark it. I like the notebook idea, although if you have a bunch of kids it could become too much to write down each time.

Senior Member Joined: Jul 27 2007 Posts: 239

I hear what you are saying - that the chart is more for the mother to keep on top of the situation verbal encouragement is what the children should be getting.

But...

Why have a chart at all if the point is just to notice it and let the child know that you noticed it? As a matter of fact in the "question and answer" portion at the end, someone asks if it is really important to make a check mark. Dina's reply is a definite yes - unless it is too difficult for you as the mother. It seems that it is a concrete way of showing the accomplishment of a high level choice.

I do like the idea of erasing it and starting anew each day - but I think that my children are "keeping track" as they are used to competition and incentive based charting.

Senior Member Joined: Jul 27 2007 Posts: 239

The hisgabrus chart:

Notice your child making a good choice and encourage them by checking it off and telling them that they are stronger now for it. Its a form positive reinforcement. The twist is: it encourages them to see that they have bechira to choose good and that each time they do so it makes it easier for the next time.

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 01 2005 Posts: 16909

I'm impressed that you ladies are implementing the chart. I'm only doing it verbally; I tell my son that he's squished the yetzer horah into nothing, he likes that better.

btw I LOVED this week's class, the '2 yr old' thing is just waht I need! But I have to listen to it again, I dont remember her actually addressing how to deal with a 2 yr old who misbehaves.

On a third note, I'm wondering if we're allowed to discuss the classes in such a public way, isnt the content of her classes supposed to be for members only? I did start a facebook group so it wuldnt be so public, I dont know, what do you think?
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Posted: Tue, Feb 02 2010, 3:14 pm Post subject:

No one who hadn't listened to the classes would have a clue what we're referring to.

Gold Member Joined: Mar 07 2006 Posts: 1559

I missed this class, and now will not be able to listen to it until pesach time. can anyone give a quick summary. I read the notes, but is there anything else I should know?

Gold Member Joined: Mar 07 2006 Posts: 1559