Help! Teacher told me

Posted: Wed, Jan 13 2010, 12:26 pm Post subject: Help! Teacher told me

that my 3 year old dd has confidence issues. Im stressed, please help me!!! she said sometimes she looks sad in the classroom and wont say why. She jus tlook sad till she gets over it. Im really stressed by this.
Please tell me what I can do:(

Gold Member Joined: Jan 09 2007 Posts: 1807

does the teacher ask her whats wrong? maybe someone hurt her and shes afraid to say it but she is waiting for someone to say 'are u sad? dont be sad, we love u...' if the teacher is not helpful try to see if u can ask her if she likes her class. ask do the kids play nicely. ask if someone hurt her or took something from her. maybe she has a legitamate reason but is afraid to stick up for herself.

Posted: Wed, Jan 13 2010, 12:34 pm Post subject: re: Help! Teacher told me

The teacher said this happens often but not everyday. She'll look said during diff. points through out the day, and wont say whats wrong. I feel like crying. what should I do?? she doenst know how to express herself well. is it my fault..I feel horrible.

Gold Member Joined: Jan 09 2007 Posts: 1807

she is 3. u can still try to teach her how to express herself. I still think the teacher should be involving herself in the feelings of your child. fact is she notices the sadness so she should say something about it. dont just say 'whats wrong?' u wont go anywhere. say things like 'are u sad?' or 'are u hurt?' or 'do u have a booboo?' or 'u look upset' try to get a bit more specific cuz kids dont know how to express all the feelings but if u get to a point where she can grasp the concept of sad or hurt she may be able to continue the conversation from a point she understands rather than being so abstract like 'whats wrong?' that can cover way to many areas and she might not know how to respond.

Posted: Wed, Jan 13 2010, 12:51 pm Post subject: re: Help! Teacher told me

I agree with Love my Babe. the teacher should be more involved when your child looks sad. what does she say or do to figure out whats bothering her?

Posted: Wed, Jan 13 2010, 2:03 pm Post subject:

what about at home?Is she lso sad or just in playgroup?
maybe your dd is just missing you.
Or maybe the teacher doesn't make things interesting enough for a 3 year old. Unless your child is not sad, but only relaxing from all the excitement around her.
Whatever it is, why do you feel like it's your fault,bla bla bla. It's not a matter of whose fault it is? It's a matter of building your child's happiness.

Posted: Wed, Jan 13 2010, 2:37 pm Post subject:

Don't eat yourself up. She is still young so you can work on her emotions. Be happy the teacher told you about it so you can both figure out how to help her. My dd was the unhappiest kid until like three months ago. She was knows as the kid that never smiles. You and the teacher should try to figure out why she is like that-it can be from a few different reasons.
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Posted: Wed, Jan 13 2010, 2:43 pm Post subject: re: Help! Teacher told me

Confidence issues? a toddler and she's already labelled?

so she's just shy. The teacher sounds obsessive to me to already discuss issues.
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Diamond Member Joined: Jan 19 2006 Posts: 4450

Perhaps your child is just overwhelmed in the classroom. My son was also very reserved and sad in nursery. He barely said a full sentence all year. He had come from a very small play group with 4 kids to a class of 18, he was overwhelmed.

The next year I told the teachers that he is shy and quiet and not to worry/. within 3 days of school starting , the teacher came over to me to tell me That I was wrong that my son was VERY friendly, Very talkative and right in the middle of everything.

Over the summer and the previous year he adjusted to the large class and magically came out of his shell. Since then he has been very well received and well liked by all the boys.

I really think its an overstatement to say a 3 year old has confidence issues. I think it is way more likely that she is just way overwhelmed with the classroom situation. Or that she is being bullied and the teacher is missing it.

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