Who pays for hotel when going away for Pesach with family?

Moderator Joined: Dec 04 2005 Posts: 6172 Location: israel

If such a thing would be suggested in my family(ie either of my parents would come to Israel for Pesach and suggest it), the kids would be expected to pay for their families. There is no way either of my parents could afford to pay for everyone.

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 12 2007 Posts: 20503

I don't think I know too many families who can pay for Pesach themselves so when they go away I assume the parents are paying. If someone were to invite us to join them at our expense I would politely decline since I can't afford it. If someone were to invite us to join them at their expense I would jump at the opportunity.

Silver Member Joined: Feb 25 2008 Posts: 606

At the Pesach program where I work, many extended families are on one big bill, usually paid for by the Patriarch/matriarch of the family. It is possible that behind the scenes each family pays them back, but from what I have seen, most are on the parents tab. But there are also some families who each pay on their own. I think if the parents suggest it, and they can afford it, and the children cant, they can ask the parents to help them out, otherwise they wont be able to join them. Or perhaps, they should join them just for the first days of yom tov, which cuts down on the cost considerably.

One of my siblings used to go to a hotel for Pesach with her in-laws, but she and her DH paid their own way. When her MIL was upset at them for eating the meal at their own convenient time (rather than waiting for when the in-laws were eating) her DH told his parents that since he pays his own way he can do whatever he wants.

I know people who pay for their children (that's their choice) and people who don't (and then it's the children's choice).
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Chayalle

Chayale writes
One of my siblings used to go to a hotel for Pesach with her in-laws, but she and her DH paid their own way. When her MIL was upset at them for eating the meal at their own convenient time (rather than waiting for when the in-laws were eating) her DH told his parents that since he pays his own way he can do whatever he wants.

OP here this is what DH is nervous about and that is why he told me to say no. And please don't be hard on me. I know I'm an adult. I know I am responsible for my bills. But I was wondering in a situation like this what usually happens behind the closed doors...

Silver Member Joined: Aug 16 2007 Posts: 621 Location: USA

We didn't go to a hotel, but we traveled to my inlaws overseas last Pesach. They asked us to come to them because they wanted all the kids together, but DH told them we really couldn't afford it. (True, we did not have anywhere close to the $ it costs for overseas plane tickets for Pesach.) After my inlaws calling DH a bunch of times about how they really want us to come, he basically put his foot down and said there is no way we can pay for the tickets, so they paid because they really wanted all their kids home.

Gold Member Joined: Jul 14 2009 Posts: 2094

op was just asking since the invitation as extended, it's something she wouldn't do on her own so she wanted to know if they were inviting her as their guests (kind of), especially b/c it's not unheard of. & even if to you it's a sill question, it's hurtful when you are looking for advice & you get your head bitten off!

My DD spends is invited to spend every Pesach with her MIL. Since her MIL invites her, her MIL pays all the expenses, airfare, hotel and misc expenses. True, her MIL is very generous and includes outfits in the misc expenses, but the very basics of travel expenses and hotel rooms should be included.

How could you think otherwise???

BTW, When my MIL invites us on vacation, she knows that it is only proper for her to pay our expenses and she invites as many of us as she wants to pay for.
My parents have also always paid for airfare and hotel when they took me on vacation.
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Smiling Mom
Mediation..The Sane Alternative to Litigation