Friend diagnosed with MS

Posted: Sat, Oct 31 2009, 3:02 pm Post subject: Friend diagnosed with MS

I haven't spoken to her yet and have to act surprised when she tells me (she can't know someone told me). What is the proper thing to say to someone who has been diagnosed with MS? She lives across the ocean so I can't really offer much help.

Posted: Sat, Oct 31 2009, 4:28 pm Post subject: re: Friend diagnosed with MS

Wow.
I'm so sorry to hear this.
This must be so hard.
I can't imagine what you're going through right now.
Tell me more; I'm listening.
I'm here if you want to talk.
What is your davening name?
I love you.
_________________
"Often the things you worry about don't happen but other stuff does."
- Amother

Posted: Sat, Oct 31 2009, 9:31 pm Post subject: re: Friend diagnosed with MS

While you might not be very close with her, perhaps she told you because you are a caring person, she knows that despite distance, she can talk to you, etc. Tell her how sorry you are to hear of this. But also tell her that there are a lot of resources for people with MS--support groups, exercise/movement classes, etc.

Posted: Sat, Oct 31 2009, 11:00 pm Post subject: re: Friend diagnosed with MS

I don't think you need to act surprised. Just say with great sincerity, "I'm so sorry to hear that."

Other things you could say:
How are you feeling right now, physically and emotionally?
Is there anything I can do to help?
Can I daven for you?

Posted: Sun, Nov 01 2009, 12:56 am Post subject: re: Friend diagnosed with MS

If she wants to talk but the conversation is awkward, how about:

Is today a good day? What is a good day like? What's a bad day like?
I don't mind hearing about how this whole thing was discovered. Why did you suspect?
How is your dh/mother/child taking it?

Posted: Sun, Nov 29 2009, 2:22 am Post subject: re: Friend diagnosed with MS

To learn more about MS go to www.nationalmssociety.org

There are a ton of articles on how to deal with someone who has been newly diagnosed from the MS perspective.

Moderator Joined: Nov 20 2005 Posts: 4868

A friend of mine was dx'd with MS a little while ago. As soon as I heard, I went over to her house (diff city), walked through the door, hugged her, and burst out crying. I felt really stupid and out of control when I did that, but it was just fine. We didnt talk, we both cried. She felt as though I'm truly with her and my reaction was just how I felt. We then sat down to talk about what symptoms led to a diagnosis and the fact that in 2009 they have made so much progress in treatment and medications.
Just hold her hand and let her know you are there for her.

Posted: Sun, Nov 29 2009, 4:50 pm Post subject: re: Friend diagnosed with MS

If she'll appreciate it, and you have email contact, email her funny stuff. A wonderful woman I know fondly remembers how her son in law sent her mother in law jokes every day while she was undergoing chemo. (But you've gotta know your customers...)

Posted: Wed, Dec 16 2009, 1:03 am Post subject: Re: re: Friend diagnosed with MS