Tempermental Baby !! HELP

Posted: Mon, Oct 26 2009, 1:23 pm Post subject: Tempermental Baby !! HELP

How do you teach a baby not to get angry?
My DS, 14 months, screams for just about anything. He gets extremely mad about the littlest things! It's not only the screaming and yelling when something doesn't go his way that's aggravating, but when he throws his bottle in a rage, or a toy that he doesn't like gets catapulted from his crib, highchair or anywhere, is what concerns me.
Is this a relatively 'normal' process of growing up? Is there anything I can do to teach him about screaming and throwing things? I'm afraid he'll grow up with a tempermental nature.
I should add here that DH has anger issues and is very tempermental. But I'm just the opposite, cool calm and collected and I don't react in any strong way to DS tantrums. I basically ignore his tantrums - which consist of high-pitched screaming and laying on the floor with head down- then when it gets too much to bear I pick him up out of pity.
He spends more time with me than with DH (due to work and differing schedules) so I don't understand where he's learnt this bad trait!!
I'm at a loss because I'm going crazy!! Can someone please give me some advice?? Thanks!!

Moderator Joined: Mar 29 2005 Posts: 18393

Terrible 2s have started. The good news is that it will be outgrown. This is hard age for many babies because they know what they want much, much better than they can express it. As their communication skills quickly gain, they get less and less frustrated. Hang in there. I have an almost 15 month old, and know exactly what you're going through. My daughter is a head-banger, and when she gets angry, she bangs her head on the floor, which hurts her, which leads her to cry even more.

I'd ignore his throwing things for now. It's a way for him to let out his frustration and he needs that outlet, as well as a means of grabbing your attention, which you don't want to feed positively (meaning, you don't want to "reward" him with the attention he needs because he has thrown something.) Leave his cup on the floor. Wait a minute, calm yourself down if you are getting worked up as well (I can easily get frustrated when I can't figure out what she wants), then pick him up and gently show him you're there for him...and if you can figure out what he wants, even better!
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Beginner Joined: Apr 06 2009 Posts: 23

Dittos to Hashem_Yaazor. I would also give words to his emotions (you are frustrated because....). Even if he can't use them now, he will be able to communicate his emotions/needs more effectively in the future (I mean in a few years!). Also, the calmer that you are, the easier it will be for him to calm down. His personality is innate (he was born with it-has nothing to do with you) and all that you can do is help him channel it in a positive way. Right now when he doesn't have the words yet, it is very challenging.

Posted: Tue, Oct 27 2009, 6:32 pm Post subject: re: Tempermental Baby !! HELP

Thanks, these words are very encouraging to me. I didn't know terrible two's start so early!!! Sometimes I just feel so inadequate because my babysitter knows how to put up with him, and does/says things that calm him down and by me they don't work!!
I guess I just have to wait it out as you guys suggest.

Beginner Joined: Apr 06 2009 Posts: 23

I'm not saying just to wait it out. Think of it as a work in progress. Over the next 10 years, you will see tremendous growth. In the meantime, child-proof as much as you can, try to avoid as many situations that you will "lock horns". Do pick a few things that are absolute no's and stick to it so that he has some sense of boundaries (can be done in loving, non-threatening way). It sounds like you are a very patient person and your patience and calm will pay off. Above all.....pat yourself on the back for little accomplishments. No one else will know how hard they were to come by.

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Posted: Tue, Oct 27 2009, 10:17 pm Post subject: Re: Tempermental Baby !! HELP

Posted: Tue, Oct 27 2009, 10:20 pm Post subject: re: Tempermental Baby !! HELP

You gotta read The Happiest Toddler on the Block. Seriously, it's a great resource and will help you see your child in a totally new light.
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Posted: Tue, Oct 27 2009, 10:27 pm Post subject:

Even if he is inheriting anger issues then you can still teach him to learn how control it. Tell him you will only listen when he is quiet and show him you mean business. When he is quiet right away respond to him. Make him point to what he wants rather then crying.
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Posted: Wed, Oct 28 2009, 9:33 pm Post subject: re: Tempermental Baby !! HELP

I dont think thats such terrible chinuch, CM. its just called human nature. parents are people, not chinuch machines, and BH many normal flawed parents raise wonderful kids.