Separation of Men and Women.....

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 11 2004 Posts: 19241

Thank you SaraYehudis!

I don't think anyone is saying that there shouldn't be a mechitza at a wedding. Many weddings that have mixed seating have mechitzas on the dance floor. Also the Rebbe is talking about weddings, not dinners, shul functions etc.

Platinum Member Joined: Jun 09 2005 Posts: 11840

Where did the Rebbe mention dancing in the letter? It sounds like the whole wedding should be separated.

If that's the case, then other social functions would follow as well.
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Dip the apple in the honey...

Senior Member Joined: Jan 11 2006 Posts: 162

Actually, I was also unclear about the whole thing and I thought maybe the Lubavitcher Rebbe was refering only to the chuppah.

Platinum Member Joined: Jun 09 2005 Posts: 11840

Where could you think that only the chuppah was being referred to?

anyway, usually in these mixed sessions, the women tend to go to the women to chat and the men tend to go to the men.
anyway in all ways round its safer to have them seperate! much safer on the marriages.
I originally come from a community thats not so frum and I have been to many kiddushim that were mixed and iv witnessed many a time a man going up to someone elses wife and kissing her on the cheek! now before I was married I ddnt dwell too much on it, even though I knew that that should not be done! but now that im married and I see these things I say to myself, gosh I would hate my husband to go kissing other pples wives!!! wheres the special relationship between man and wife?! bh we have these halochos!

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 20 2004 Posts: 17151

I once went to a chasunah at which the chosson's family was not frum. The dancing was supposed to be separate but at some point some of the nonfrum ppl started dancng mixed. the kallah was furious and had someone announce that unless the ppl who are dancing mixed stop right now, she, the kallah, is going to sit out all the dances.

Now I do not say that the kallah was not within her rights--it is her chasunah, after all. however, she definitely went about it the wrong way. she embarrassed EVERYONE--both the ppl who were dancing mixed, and everyone else, who was embarrassed for them--and cast a terrible pall over the whole simcha. who felt like dancing at all after that scene?

First off, knowing that her chosson's family is not frum, she could have had a discreet line on the invitation to the effect of "Please abide by Orthodox tradition". hamayvin yovin, and whoever doesn't, will ask what that means. second, if that doesn't work, the thing to have done would have been to have had the announcer state simply that ladies are dancing over there, men are dancing over yonder, and guests are requested to refrain from mixed dancing. and for those who still don't get it, the announcer could have called them aside individually and explained that mixed dancing is against orthodox tradition and therefore not acceptable at this event.

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 20 2004 Posts: 17151

Platinum Member Joined: Jun 09 2005 Posts: 11840

The problem is that halacha disagrees with your idea of what is "healthy".

Diamond Member Joined: Dec 21 2005 Posts: 2983

Diamond Member Joined: Dec 21 2005 Posts: 2983

OK, I get what you're saying Very Happy

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I do agree about Yiddishkeit that it should be taught in a positive light and not negative as unfortunately is common. Teaching the beauty of our Torah gives us pride, happiness and understanding and the love to our Torah and mitzvahs while teaching everything with a "this isn't allowed and that isn't allowed" gives us sort of a restricting, resentful attitude.

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 20 2004 Posts: 17151

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 20 2004 Posts: 17151

as crayon explained - halacha disagrees with what society considers healthy

an irreligious psychologist might ask a teenager if she has a boyfriend or ever did, and if the answer is no, the psychologist will consider this abnormal, yet Torah says otherwise